Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Top Five Ways to Prepare for the Zombie Goat Invasion

The hilarious and talented Christine Johnson is back this week with another giveaway and her sure-fire methods for preparing to face the Zombie Goat Invasion! Up for grabs is this gorgeous necklace designed just for Christine's books(CLAIRE DE LUNE and NOCTURNE) by the fabulous Tashina Falene.


To enter, simply fill out the Google doc below this post. Contest is open to North America and closes Sunday, August 21st at 8 p.m. Central time. But FIRST, find out what you need to do to ready yourself for the Zombie Goats. Oh, yeah. They're coming. Take it away, Christine.


1) Buy canned goods. Either you can eat them, or else you can lob the cans at the zombie goats. They'll either be injured or else distracted by the cans - goats are notorious for their willingness to eat cans, right?! Hmm. I'm beginning to worry about my odds of survival.


2) When the looting starts, FOR GOD'S SAKE HIT THE SPORTING GOODS STORE. Go to the shoe section first. It seems like almost all of the post-apocalyptic zombie stuff I've read features people who are invariably hampered by their poor footwear. I, for one, am not a fast runner. I need all the assistance a well-fitted athletic shoe can give me. You're taking notes, right?


3) Lay in a stock of glue-on horns, fake beards, and red contact lenses with horizontal slits. Zombie goats? Not that smart. There's a possibility of slipping past them if you're disguised as a fellow zombie goat. I think. Maybe. Oh, crap.


4) Shower. A lot. If you don't stink, I think you have a better shot at hiding from the goats. (Have you gathered yet that my advice is all bad?)


5) Buy books. Why not? If you're going to get zombie-goat-ified, you might as well be reading something good while it happens!


I, for one, am going to go hop in the shower, put on my best fake beard, and curl up with an awesome book. Look at me! I'm goat free! Great advice, Christine. :)

Please leave Christine a comment at the end of this post, and don't forget to enter to win the fabulous, one-of-a-kind necklace designed in honor of her books!


9 comments:

  1. This is the funniest thing I've read all week. I"m going to go get myself some canned goods!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pretty necklace! I hope I win, lol.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My favorite tip is the one about disguises. We'll be wolves in goat's clothing. Mwahaha... >:)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks so much ...
    http://www.goat-trauma.org/

    ReplyDelete
  5. Definitely shoes!! Always in the need for more shoes :) Food doesn't hurt....

    ReplyDelete
  6. If zombies came for me I would want to be reading something good too!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ha! Dress up like a goat. Brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  8. PRetty necklace! I loved the post.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Remember - a zombie goat's cabrito that comes FOR you instead of TO you! :)

    ReplyDelete

People who comment are made of awesomesauce with a side of WIN!

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails