Monday, October 10, 2011

Chicken of Destiny!

1. Remember that writer's retreat I went on a couple weeks ago?

2. The one in that gorgeous cabin up in the Smoky Mountains?

3. Well THIS is the picture that literally overlooked my bed.

4. Not that reassuring.

5. We decided to name him Bearward, for obvious reasons.

6. He has fangs.

7. He's watching me while I sleep.

8. And he's in a meadow.

9. All he's missing is some sparkle! We considered going after him with some glitter pens to really let him give Robert Pattinson a run for his vampire money, but decided it wasn't worth the potential "defacing property" fee.

10. The other day, Daredevil yelled to Starshine, "Quick! Come in here! I've got a Chicken of Destiny!"

11. If you google images for "Chicken of Destiny" you get stuff like this:

I am the Chicken of Destiny. You doubt? Come closer and I shall peck the doubt right out of you.

and this

No, I am the Chicken of Destiny. Ever heard of a Were-Chicken? Yeah. That's right. You're looking at her.

and this

Clearly, I am the finest specimen of Chicken you'll ever find. *Insert various inappropriate jokes about nuggets here* You know you want to be my Destiny.

I do not claim to understand Google's reasoning for these search results. I had to change my search parameters to get pics of the true Chicken of Destiny:

Walter, the Chicken of Destiny, during his polka dot phase.

Following in the noble footsteps of his ferocious ancestor:

Wilbur, the original Chicken of Destiny

12. I've now decided all truly great stories should have a Chicken of Destiny somewhere in their depths.

13. I tried to find you an amazing Chicken of Destiny video to cap off the post, but alas. It seems the great Chicken of Destiny is camera shy.


  1. That bear painting is creepy. There is NO way I could have gone to sleep with that thing in my room. Hahahaha!

    And let me guess: In the Attack of the Big Chicken movie, the hero who saved the world was Colonel Sanders. :P :)

  2. Please say you have read this:

    It does seem to support your notion that all great stories involve a Chicken of Destiny.

  3. I showed Bearward to Nic and Ross when they came to pick me up. I also showed them Old Man Beardy and his band of singing squirrels. Also the...ROOSTER...that watched me sleep. They were just as disturbed as we were.

  4. As always, dieing laughing. How do you come up with this stuff. My son's nickname is Wilbur. I'm going to start calling him, The Chicken of Destiny!

  5. I vote for the spotted chicken. That bear is beyond creepy.

  6. 1. That picture of the bear is creepy. It reminds me of the Can't sleep, clowns will eat me Episode of the Simpsons.

    2. *dies laughing* The bear name makes the pic even funnier!

    3. I swear, you are intent on my death by laughter. I blame the nuggets.

    4. Your kids are full of hilarious things!


People who comment are made of awesomesauce with a side of WIN!

A Bad Culinary Decision

A few days ago, on a whim, I bought a bag of Lay's Potato Chips in their new Chicken and Waffles flavor. I figured my kids (who love bot...