Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Top 12 Reasons Why I Love The UK

12. Big Ben. I mean really. He's the kind of clock who laughs at other, lesser clocks. Who looks on as digital time-keeping takes the world by storm and says "Yo mama." And gets away with it. Because he's Big Ben.

I'm Big Ben, yo. Recognize.

11. Shakespeare. A rose by any other name would still write some pretty amazing plays. I'd rhapsodize over him a bit, but the show must go on. Besides, if I were to misquote him, I fear he'd demand his pound of flesh.

That's right. I wrote a ton of plays that are still being performed centuries later AND I rocked a lace collar. Because I am one BAAAAAD dude.

10. High Tea. This is a regularly scheduled break in the middle of the afternoon wherein one consumes various items which are terrible for your hips, but do wonders for your mood. What's not to love?

Come on. Just a taste. You know you want to.

9. Scones. A regular feature at the high tea table, and one I enjoy like nothing else. I enjoy a well-made scone so much, I'm overlooking the unfortunate existence of kippers at the English breakfast table.

Yes. I am delicious. And I am not a kipper, which makes me extra delicious.

8. Monty Python. There's nothing on Earth like British humor. I have no idea if the Brits consider MP to be an exemplary example of fine British humor, but I enjoy them very much. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go shout Niii and scare random passers-by because, as I'm sure you've noticed, I'm not dead yet.

Invisible horses! It's all the rage.

7. Castles. Why live in a home when you can have a castle? Okay, fine. I know most Brits don't live in them, but the castles are gorgeous, and I love them with the same kind of fierce passion I reserve for pirates and peach tea.

Look at me, all you lesser, boring, un-turreted homes. The envy, it BURNS.

6. Bond. James Bond. Thank you, England. I'll take him shaken, not stirred.

I don't need a bloody caption. I'm Bond. James Bond.

5. Victorian Gowns. You have to love fashion that rearranges your ribs to give you a tiny waist while simultaneously poofing out your butt as if you'd somehow trapped a small whale beneath your skirts. I frankly adore ballgowns and corsets and a nice top hat on a man. Well done, Victoria. Well done.

We may have sat on some whales, but our dresses are still prettier than anything in your closet.

4. Sherlock Holmes. I've always enjoyed this flawed, narcissistic genius, but when it came to the big screen courtesy of Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law, I moved from enjoyment to flat out fangirl.

Yes. I am brilliant. Shall we bask in that realization for a moment?

3. Tower of London. You have to love a country who locks criminals in a tower. Even though I adore towers (see Castle love above), I will probably mind my Ps and Qs while I'm in London. I don't actually think they lock mouthy Americans in the tower, but I don't feel like tempting them to break that tradition.

NOT C.J.'s future home.

2. Harry Potter. If none of the above existed, I would still love the UK for this series alone. Because I cannot write a paragraph documenting my deep love for the HP books without it turning into an essay, I will simply readjust the Sorting Hat that I'm currently wearing, dust off my potion bottles (Mandrake, Felix Felicitas, & Polyjuice), and move on.

Bring it, Voldemort.

1. Atom Books. And the #1 reason why I love the UK is this: Atom Books, an imprint of Little Brown, UK, bought the DEFIANCE trilogy!!! I am thrilled to be working with the talented team at Atom, and can't wait to hold my UK version in my hands!

We rock your socks off.


  1. I was just talking about how much I love scones this morning. :D

    YAY! *kermie flail*

  2. Congrats! And yes, the UK is pretty awesome. :)

  3. I'm still torn between #8 and #1. I mean, that's total SAILING THE MIGHT SEAS OF AWESOME ON THE SHIP OF WIN, but it's not The Lumberjack Song.

    Either way, well played ... COME SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!

  4. I wish we (I'm English!) did have afternoon tea everyday. And you're right. Kippers = Bleurgh. Frankly Kippers' Smell = Bleurgh.

  5. Congrats! I too am a total anglophile (shhh! Don't tell my Aussie hubs! ;) I am so enamored of Sherlock Holmes, that I was even crushing on him a bit when he was The Great Mouse Detective. :) If you haven't seen BBC's SHERLOCK then you are missing out. Cumberbatch 4-eva. @Palmquist: BLOODY PEASANT! :)

  6. I LOVE high tea! Ahh, the UK. : ) Now I think I'm in the mood for scones and lemon curd. I make them every year at Easter but really? A rainy day is a good excuse too! Ohh, I even have whipping cream to make my take on clotted cream. YUM!

  7. WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY FOR YOU. Could not happen to a more deserving author! ((hugs))

  8. Yay! And after your trip to China you should be able to survive their breakfasts that not only include kippers but blood pudding, stewed tomatoes, and BEANS! At least the eggs are edible.

  9. Congrats, CJ! Good excuse to visit jolly old England!

  10. Well done, darlin'. Well done!


    er, I'm happy for you :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D And btw, was just wondering, how'd you get my list? I swear I have one just like it! *wipes drool off chin, but dopey expression remains*

    Although, I do have one more you don't...*whispers Doctor Who* but I sure like your publisher (previously on my list as publisher of awesome who knew a good zombie apocalypse buddie when they saw one!)


  12. Congrats CJ!! Fantastic news. Maybe this means you can visit to do book signings??

  13. YES! So excited it will be coming out here! That's awesome! :)

  14. Congratulations, CJ! I'm totally smiling for you.

  15. Bravo, C.J. I am with you on every single love-the-UK-so-much-it-hurts item... well, except Victorian dresses. Not so much.

    But #1 says it all (and where can I read your essays on Harry Potter???) Congrats.

  16. How could you forget the music? The Beatles, the Stones, Led Zepplin, etc.


People who comment are made of awesomesauce with a side of WIN!

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