Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Interview With Victoria Schwab

Today I'm excited to have Victoria Schwab, author of THE NEAR WITCH, on the blog. Victoria's cover is one of the prettiest I've ever seen, and it perfectly matches the writing within. THE NEAR WITCH is a fairy tale (an original fairy tale which required Victoria to research all kinds of interesting things in order to create a unique mythic structure), and Victoria's writing is lovely, ethereal, and haunting. Here's a peek at THE NEAR WITCH:

The Near Witch is only an old story told to frighten children.
If the wind calls at night, you must not listen. The wind is lonely, and always looking for company.

And there are no strangers in the town of Near.

These are the truths that Lexi has heard all her life.

But when an actual stranger—a boy who seems to fade like smoke—appears outside her home on the moor at night, she knows that at least one of these sayings is no longer true.

The next night, the children of Near start disappearing from their beds, and the mysterious boy falls under suspicion. Still, he insists on helping Lexi search for them. Something tells her she can trust him.

As the hunt for the children intensifies, so does Lexi’s need to know—about the witch that just might be more than a bedtime story, about the wind that seems to speak through the walls at night, and about the history of this nameless boy.

Part fairy tale, part love story, Victoria Schwab’s debut novel is entirely original yet achingly familiar: a song you heard long ago, a whisper carried by the wind, and a dream you won’t soon forget.

Looks awesome, doesn't it? When I invited Victoria to come on the blog, she decided to take on the Spork of Doom. Having spent some time hanging out with Victoria, I can honestly say she has the moxie necessary to handle the Spork.

Spork of Doom


Victoria Schwab
Now that you know who's who, it's time to reveal the incredible cupcake my hubby made in honor of Victoria's book. There are spooky woods by the town of Near, and an even spookier witch. (According to legend, of course. If you want to know if the legend is true, you'll have to read the book.) My hubby made a creepy looking twisted tree trunk with a bony witch hand clutching it (perhaps preparing to beckon you to meet your doom?). Without further ado, I give you the haunting Near Witch cupcake and Victoria vs. the Spork of Doom.

Come to me, my pretty.
1. I’m all about world domination, and I’m always looking for good help. Why would you be an acceptable minion in my quest?

Because I’ve already started! Through my continuous use of and reference to narwhals, cupcakes, chocolate, fairy tales, and diet coke, I’ve begun a system of Pavlovian response where the general public hears any of those words, and thinks of me. I shall branch out until the majority of the populace’s daily speech makes them think of me!

2. I suppose that could be rather useful. I might even employ that tactic myself. But the only word I'm interested in being associated with is DOOM. Being a Spork of Doom takes moxie. What’s the sporkiest thing you’ve ever done?

I got arrested for hitchhiking in France, jumped out of an airplane, and dream of owning a bakery where every dessert is named for a fairy tale (trigger word!) character.

3. I expect you to name a pie after me. You can call it Pie of Doom. Or you can call it The Last Pastry You Will Ever Eat. I don't care which. When I’m not busy taking over the world, I like to eat pie. What kind of pie do you think is worthy of my Spork of Doom status?

I’m quite partial to chocolate (trigger word!) chess pie, but also love a good peach cobbler :)

4. I like the idea of a chess pie. The world is my chess board! CHECKMATE, WORLD! What’s your favorite thing to do with a spork?

Spear helpless little cubes of fruit! But not grapes. Grapes are evil and evasive of sporks.

5. You would waste the spectacular stabbing ability of the spork on ... fruit?? I may have misjudged your minion potential. I have the ability to be simultaneously spoon, fork, and weapon of mass destruction. What unique ability do you have?

I have the ability to transform into a giant cupcake (trigger word!). No, really, I do. Complete with detachable sprinkles. And that cupcake is evil. Her name is Sickly Sweet.

6. A giant cupcake that is both ridiculously cute and thoroughly evil? Mwahahaha! Everyone would be too distracted by your sugary sweetness to notice their own imminent doom. You are hereby reinstated as my minion! In this day and age, a savvy spork bent on world domination can’t afford to ignore a good marketing campaign. I’m thinking t-shirts with “Spork or Die.” If you made a shirt with your own slogan on it, what would it say?

Buy a Book, Feed and Author (Chocolate). <--trigger word! But seriously, I have a team of graphic designers hard at work on the graphic representation of this sentence.

7. You seem to be implying tht most authors will work for chocolate. *checks astonishingly large supply of reserve chocolate* I may need to hire more of your kind to help in my quest. If I had to compare myself to anyone in history, I’d have to say I’m most like Napoleon. Only skinnier. And shinier. And smart enough not to lose my empire at a place with a ridiculous name like Waterloo. Who are you most like and why?

I’m obviously like Marie Antoniette, because she liked cake so much. Wait, what do you mean that’s not what she meant...

8. I can appreciate someone with a dessert fixation. Why is your job just as much fun as world domination?

Because I get to LIE. Elaborately.

9. And people believe you! You have now been promoted to Head Minion. In between conquests, I like to read a good story. What can you recommend and why?

I’d recommend some Brothers Grimm, because they’re morbid, but have found ways to infiltrate today’s society under the guise of harmless childhood tales. We can learn much for them.

10. Stop. You had me at infiltrate. You need to accomplish a secret, night-time mission as my minion. Cloak? No cloak? Why?

Cloak, OBVIOUSLY. And why? Because it’s BALLER.

11. So few realize that. My best piece of advice to others is this: “Fear the spork!” What’s your best advice?

“Eat the cupcake!” <--trigger word!

Thank you, Victoria, for such an entertaining interview! Of course, the fun isn't over yet. Victoria is giving away a copy of THE NEAR WITCH to one lucky reader. If the winner lives in the U.S., the book will be signed. If the winner lives outside the U.S., Victoria will order a new copy sent to you from Book Depository.
To enter, fill out the form below. The contest is open until 8 p.m. central time Monday, November 21. Good luck and happy reading!


  1. Oh V! You and the spork were clearly meant for each other!

  2. YAY! Near Witch is on my TBR list! Can't wait to read it.

  3. Considering that I follow (stalk you) on Twitter, Victoria, you probably already know how I feel about you. But an added interview/themed cupcake is always a plus.


  4. Thanks so much for the chance! I really really want to read this!! Love that cupcake too :)

  5. Love your answers and I will be on the lookout for your book. Awesome sporkiness; much appreciated this morning!

  6. Anyone willing to take on the Spork of Doom has got to be moxieful. They can probably control the universe, certainly have the ability to create mind-bending stories, and probably ain't afraid of the were-llama either.

    Which means The Near Witch is going to the top of my TBR list!

  7. Oh my. This is one of the best interviews I've seen on this blog. Your answers were stupendous. I think you are a threat to the Spork of Doom, so I wouldn't get drawn in my minion-ship. I'm on your side if there's a reckoning.

  8. Amazing interview and video. I'm glad the cupcake costume had a whole second life that I didn't even know about. And I totally DO think of you whenever I encounter narwhals or giant cupcakes - so sneaky! I can't wait to read The Near Witch. :-D

  9. The Near Witch is on my TBR list, as well! Thanks for the funny interview and this opportunity! :)

  10. Loved the interview. V is just hilarious!! I follow her and she always entertains. I'm a huge cupcake lover just like her!

  11. I think this might be my favorite cupcake yet! Congrats on taking on the Spork!

  12. There is something about cake that makes me smile:) I loved the Nearwitch cupcake it not only made me smile, I actually got a chuckle going here. Your creativity is a marvel. Thank you for sharing with us, personally I feel sporks are evil LOL.

  13. This looks awesome! and the cupcake is uberly creepy.. i dont think i would want to eat it, but it would be perfect for halloween.. and YAY for sporks.. theyre not evil, just misunderstood!

    alainala@hotmail DOT ca

  14. That cupcake looks more phallic then evil. Your hubs has a dirty mind. I love the cupcake costume and I also loved the witch thing you did in the photo above it. I'm going to skip the spork so I don't rip my lips off by accident. LOL

    NoraAdrienne (at) gmail (dot) com


People who comment are made of awesomesauce with a side of WIN!


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