Sparkle While You Spit!
1. Sadly, I don't have much to contribute to Monday's blog list. (Other than the pic above which one of my awesome Twitter followers was kind enough to send to me.)
2. My favorite may be Edward Llama.
3. The only thing better than being able to spit on your enemies is to sparkle while you do it!
4. Anyway, the reason I don't have much to contribute today is because I spent most of last week sick with the flu.
5. This was unfortunate for many reasons, not the least of which is that fever-induced insomnia leads to a whirlwind of absolute craziness in my head.
6. Here's a peek at what my stream of consciousness looked like last Thursday night:
- Ladyfinger cookies don't look like fingers.
- Or DO they?
- *spends far too much time imagining eating fingers*
- I don't think there's anyway to eat fingers in a ladylike manner.
- Zombie Etiquette!
- Elizabeth Post's "Table Manners for Zombies"
- UP! I'm up!
- Why am I up?
- It's dark. It must be late. I bet I was asleep for hours.
- *checks clock*
- Three minutes since last time I looked? THREE?
- Someone is torturing me.
- Beth Revis?
- An evil mastermind, yes, but how could she give me the flu from hundreds of miles away?
- Flu ninjas?
- Chuck Norris?
- What would happen if Chuck Norris could fly?
- Who says he can't?
- Who says Chuck Norris is even REAL?
- Nothing is real.
- Except the fact that the room is spinning.
- Who told this room it could spin? I would definitely remember giving my permission for something like that.
- Beagle dogs.
- I need to get better. I need to clean the house.
- If they can invent a self-cleaning oven, why can't they invent a self-cleaning house?
- Lazy scientists.
- I'll send Chuck Norris to whip them into shape.
- CHUCK NORRIS SHOULD CLEAN MY HOUSE.
- I really need sleep.
- *checks clock*
- ONLY TWO MORE MINUTES HAVE PASSED?
Why I got both the Wonderpets and Chuck Norris stuck in my head at the same time is one of the great mysteries of the universe.