1. I am not feeling particularly witty today.
2. This is because I've been sick for days and am barely sleeping at night.
3. And THAT is because I keep trying to cough up a lung.
4. It hasn't worked yet, but that doesn't stop me from trying!
5. At the rate I'm going, I figure my abs should look like Jacob's by the time I get well.
6. Before you start imagining that I am a sexy thing when I am sick, however, allow me to assure you that when I cough, I sort of sound like an old jalopy engine trying (and failing) to start.
7. In fact, I'm beginning to sound a bit like Darth Vader.
8. Few things are sexier than a woman who sounds like an old car with Darth Vader trapped beneath the hood.
9. Speaking of Darth Vader, here's one of my favorite Eddie Izzard bits. Enjoy the laugh! Warning: there's some profanity if you're sensitive to that.
10. And that's really all I have for you today. My brain refuses to work. I am hoping for a full revival soon!