Monday, March 19, 2012

Causing a Scene


1. Oh, look! My children summed up in one pithy little picture.

2. I just typed a list all the way out to ... #19? 20? Forgot to look. And then deleted it.

3. It wasn't truly entertaining, and there are just some things that no matter how hard I try to clearly communicate, end up sounding like maybe I need to visit a proctologist and have the uptight precociousness surgically removed from my never you mind.

4. So.

5. I will leave you all to wonder what that lovely piece of writing was and move on.

6. To something that I think has shoved my hubby one large step closer to never taking me out in public again.

7. You'll recall that a few weeks ago, we had media passes to a sneak peek of John Carter, and he had to drag me out of the aisle after the movie ended so I wouldn't cause a scene with the incredibly rude person sitting behind us.

8. Well.

9. First, please understand that I don't actually go looking to cause a scene whenever I leave the house.

10. Most days.

11. Second, please understand that while there are many things that are special to me, few things are as sacred as a basket of still-warm chips and a bowl of delicious salsa.

12. It is a very foolish person who comes between me and my chips and salsa.

13. My hubby and I have been so busy lately, we've had very little time together. So, the other night we decided to go on a date.

14. We had dinner at Chuy's, a restaurant whose dips are, frankly, right up there with Johnny Depp and titanium sporks.

15. Halfway through, the waiter refilled our basket of chips. And then returned to the table a bit later to clear our plates.

16. Which was fine. I was done with my dinner.

17. But then.

18. THEN.

19. He grabbed the basket of still-warm chips and started to take those as well.

20. I didn't even think. I just reached out, grabbed the basket as it rose off the table, slammed it back down, and said "NOT THE CHIPS."

21. He thought it was funny.

22. My hubby looked like he wanted to either laugh or have the floor swallow him whole.

23. *sigh*

24. But he knows he gets me unfiltered and often unintentionally inappropriate.

25. And he goes out with me anyway, so really, it's half his fault.

26. =D

27. I will end this post by telling you that Harper pulled stuff from my blog to put together my bio. (Shockingly enough they left out any reference to were-llamas and unintentional injuries) It's a nice, brief bio, and the second I showed our group of friends my ARC, they began mocking my hubby over it.

28. Why?

29. Because it says I live in Nashville with my amazing husband ... etc.

30. So, naturally, every guy in the room had to go up to my hubby, slap him on the back, and say "Oh, Clint. You're just so amazing."

31. I'm going to leave it.

32. Half because he really is amazing.

33. Half because I enjoy watching him squirm.

3 comments:

  1. Lol. Instead of chips and salsa, for me, no one comes between me and my french fries. Don't even think about taking one off my plate because that means war.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Chips and salsa are usually the ONLY reason for going out in public, let alone in the company of your amazing husband.

    You can let him know that while he was deciding which exit was closest, I was enjoying In 'N Out. I really have no point to this comment other than to gloat. And because this is what happens when your sister is on large doses of hydromorphone with an overall inability to eat much for 6 months. Bring it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Drat. I was kind of hoping blogger would eat that last comment. Further proof it's out to get me.

    ReplyDelete

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