tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49820690496412624232024-03-16T02:08:37.524-05:00C.J. RedwineAuthor of the Ravenspire series, including NYT Bestseller THE SHADOW QUEEN. C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.comBlogger1086125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-2380192807830958092011-06-17T09:33:00.002-05:002011-06-17T09:35:55.750-05:00Harry Potter Trailer & More!The final trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 has been released, and I'm not going to lie. I get choked up every time I watch this. Maybe because it's the culmination of years of living with these characters like family, eagerly anticipating the next time I could plunge headfirst into their magical world. Maybe because this is the moment where everyone I've grown to love steps up and discovers what they're truly made of. Maybe it's when Tonks and Lupin reach for each other but can't quite connect. Maybe it's all of it, but I'm bringing tissue with me when I see this movie because I am going to be wrecked.<br />
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Also? J.K. Rowling just launched a site called <a href="http://www.pottermore.com/">Pottermore</a> which links to a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/JKRowlingAnnounces">youtube page</a> counting down to a huge announcement. Rumor has it, she'll be writing more stories from the Harry Potter world. I know I'll be anxiously waiting to hear!C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-32546513625148301162011-06-15T10:02:00.004-05:002011-06-15T13:49:54.840-05:00Interview With Myra McEntire<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisADlHhTa3sE9XR2n3VnnNkCSkPHipe1R_lRYkflbcIIbKKGo24Q4B07bwTM4Z3itkbjqYbBArJT1-AQyYTPjEOnmJbZ0OtUVwIRSwuFUQIX9CpOxxSTEzuWstqtwzQVGWlPexRji7ZFvK/s1600/Hourglass_final_JPEG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisADlHhTa3sE9XR2n3VnnNkCSkPHipe1R_lRYkflbcIIbKKGo24Q4B07bwTM4Z3itkbjqYbBArJT1-AQyYTPjEOnmJbZ0OtUVwIRSwuFUQIX9CpOxxSTEzuWstqtwzQVGWlPexRji7ZFvK/s320/Hourglass_final_JPEG.jpg" t8="true" width="211" /></a></div><br />
I first met Myra when she chased me down the hall at church and said "Hey! I heard you're a writer! I'm a writer too!" Those fateful words began what is now one of my most treasured friendships. BUT, before we became close friends, we met one night at the local bookstore for coffee and writer talk, and I took a look at the first few chapters of HOURGLASS. You know that delicious little tingle you get up your spine when you start reading a book you realize is going to totally rock your socks off?<br />
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I got that tingle and in the years since then, through every revision and edit, I haven't lost it. HOURGLASS is funny, heart-wrenching, compelling, sizzling, and unexpected. The plot twists alone will break your brain in all the best ways. And the romance? Um ... YES. And I love that the time-travel is based in quantum physics and that the southern setting actually feels like the South I know. Here's a peek at HOURGLASS:<br />
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<blockquote><em><span style="color: purple;">For seventeen-year-old Emerson Cole, life is about seeing what isn't there: swooning Southern Belles; soldiers long forgotten; a haunting jazz trio that vanishes in an instant. Plagued by phantoms since her parents' death, she just wants the apparitions to stop so she can be normal. She's tried everything, but the visions keep coming back.So when her well-meaning brother brings in a consultant from a secretive organization called the Hourglass, Emerson's willing to try one last cure. But meeting Michael Weaver may not only change her future, it may change her past.</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Who is this dark, mysterious, sympathetic guy, barely older than Emerson herself, who seems to believe every crazy word she says? Why does an electric charge seem to run through the room whenever he's around? And why is he so insistent that he needs her help to prevent a death that never should have happened?</span></em></blockquote>Trust me. This is a fabulous debut you don't want to miss.When I invited Myra on the blog in honor of the release of HOURGLASS, she couldn't wait to take on the legendary Captain Jack. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Captain Jack</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Myra McEntire</td></tr>
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Now that you know who's who, it's time to reveal the cupcake of awesomesauce my hubby made for Myra's book. He outdid himself and made an incredible cupcake that both honors the title of her book and gives homage to the awesome time traveling that happens within its pages. Without further ado, I give you the cupcake of awesomesauce and Myra's interview with Captain Jack. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">HOURGLASS cupcake of awesomesauce<br />
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</tbody></table><strong>1. Would you classify yourself as a pirate or a member of Her Majesty’s Royal navy? Why? </strong><br />
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<span style="color: purple;"><em>Oh I am such a pirate. My eyeliner is always down to my waist and my hair hasn’t seen a brush in years. I do, however, have good dental hygiene. Unless I’m on deadline.</em></span> <br />
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<strong>2. You sound quite ... fetching. What’s your favorite thing to do in Tortuga? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Drin … shop for antiques. Especially coins. </span></em><br />
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<strong>3. Hands off my coins, love. Unless you'd like to bribe me with rum? I’m offering you free passage aboard my ship to anywhere in the world. Where shall we go? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Johnny … I mean … Jack? I’ll go anywhere you take me. I DID hear about a super spooky house in Collinsport, Maine. Supposedly this vampire lives there? And he looks a lot like you. But cleaner. </span></em><br />
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<strong>4. A cleaner version of me, eh? Give him a few swallows of rum and a night in Tortuga, and we'll fix that. Who is the hero of your story most like: me (savvy, debonair, and unquestionably smooth with the ladies), the insufferably honorable Will Turner, or that deceptive little minx Elizabeth? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">He’s insufferably honorable, he is, but his best friend is cut from the Jack Sparrow cloth. Might even dress like you occasionally. Partial to rum. </span></em><br />
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<strong>5. You can keep the hero. I'll take the friend. Rum? Or more rum? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Vodka. </span></em><br />
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<strong>6. You saucy minx, you! But I bet if you were aboard my ship, you'd learn to love rum as well. Which leads me to the age old question: Why is the rum always gone?</strong> <br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">I’m going to blame the monkey.</span></em><br />
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<strong>7. Curse that blasted undead monkey! What’s the most piratish thing you’ve ever done? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">That time I rode in a paddle boat? Either that or the time I bought a Tortuga rum cake in the Palm Beach airport for C.J. Redwine. (Also? I heard she has a thing for you. Might want to be careful.)</span></em><br />
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<strong>8. A paddle boat? For the sake of your sea cred, I hope you stole it and used it to transport said Tortuga rum cake across enemy lines. (And yes, she does rather have a thing for me, doesn't she? Not that I blame her, of course, but still, I'm keeping a weather eye on <em>that</em> one.) Are they rules? Or more like guidelines? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">They are SUGGESTIONS.</span></em><br />
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<strong>9. You DID steal that paddle boat, didn't you? I understand you’re a story-teller. Any undead monkeys in your stories? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">There are some ducks in the book I’m working on now. They aren’t undead though. UNLESS …</span></em><br />
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<strong>10. Undead <em>ducks</em>? Darling, you're giving me nightmares. Any curses? Heartless monsters? Irritating women who insist on taking matters into their own hands? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">There are dead people. And a snarky teen who can totally take matters into her own hands. And also kick your ass. </span></em><br />
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<strong>11. I believe you've just insulted my honor. *checks today's agenda* I'll avenge it sometime after "Drink a jug of rum" and "steal King George's lunch." One of my favorite words is “egregious.” Care to share one of yours, love? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Echinacea. </span></em><br />
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<strong>12. Sounds like a particularly productive sneeze. Parlay? Or draw your sword? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">I’d rather watch you draw yours. </span></em><br />
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<strong>13. Darling, you'll make me blush. And also? It's a date. You’ve got a crowd of cursed sailors and a nasty sea monster on your trail. How do you escape? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Well, I certainly don’t set the rum on fire. </span></em><br />
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<strong>14. Where have you been all my life? Bring your unbrushed, vodka-drinking, paddle-boat stealing self onto my boat and stay for a while. Romantic night in? Or adventure on the high seas? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">How about a foot rub and a nap? I have kids, Jack. By any chance do you “manny”? </span></em><br />
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<strong>15. Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I am NO ONE'S "manny." Unless ... you don't happen to have a spare ship lying around, do you? My personal motto is: Take what you want, give nothing back. What’s yours? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">1. Do not engage The Crazy. 2. Do not BE The Crazy. </span></em><br />
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Thank you, Myra, for such an entertaining interview! To learn more about Myra, visit <a href="http://myramcentire.blogspot.com/">her site</a>. To purchase your copy of HOURGLASS, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hourglass-Myra-McEntire/dp/1606841440">go here</a>. <br />
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Of course, the fun isn't over yet! Myra is offering a signed copy of HOURGLASS to one lucky commenter. Contest is open to North American entries. <u>Contest is open until 8 pm Sunday, June 19th</u>. To enter, fill out the following form and don't forget to leave a comment at the bottom of the post. <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Also, VOTE in the poll on the sidebar to help choose Myra McEntire's Top Five post for next week's SUPER AWESOME GIVEAWAY! :)</strong></span> Good luck!<br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" height="825" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" src="https://spreadsheets.google.com/spreadsheet/embeddedform?formkey=dE8yX01BN0hLUGhqLVZETk5vZHBJOHc6MQ" width="760"></iframe>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-63261689261275849462011-06-14T08:00:00.001-05:002011-06-14T08:00:12.377-05:00Pizazzed!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvT-yT9mq14W1jgFt3YSRimmnYzTda_me-6HFhmovsvqTskcHlODvu-7-QIFPlWCndSzuUo0WbDODcZp7IjkLFhg2XwLT7MDdNLjHl_6RQYj2bjSKaDbaiJ-g_j3n0WsvirodpjVG9KX4I/s1600/cat+sexy+back.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvT-yT9mq14W1jgFt3YSRimmnYzTda_me-6HFhmovsvqTskcHlODvu-7-QIFPlWCndSzuUo0WbDODcZp7IjkLFhg2XwLT7MDdNLjHl_6RQYj2bjSKaDbaiJ-g_j3n0WsvirodpjVG9KX4I/s320/cat+sexy+back.jpg" t8="true" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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1. It's been FAR too long since I did one of my lists.<br />
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2. So much has happened between when I posted my "<a href="http://cjredwine.blogspot.com/2011/05/sold.html">YAY I SOLD MY BOOK</a>" post and now, so there's a pretty good chance I won't remember most of it.<br />
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3. Naturally, the stuff I don't want to remember is indelibly seared into my brain.<br />
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4. And, sadly, the brain of one very embarrassed TSA agent at the airport in Sacramento where I left my dignity and a good portion of any residual "Hm, perhaps THIS should be the last straw that sends me over the edge and into a loony bin" thoughts. <br />
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5. What was I doing in an airport in Sacramento that cost me my dignity and nearly made a hapless TSA agent walk into a wall?<br />
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6. I was traveling home from a mini-vacation to California. With my fifteen-month-old daughter. Just the two of us, a stuffed-to-the-limit diaper bag carry on, and a long security line that failed to keep her adequately interested. <br />
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7. Know what a toddler does when she's bored and has decided to abscond for more interesting locations?<br />
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8. She squirms. She fusses. She wiggles. And then, THEN, she makes an all-out bid for freedom that is probably now a viral video somewhere, only I'm not about to go trolling the internet looking for it.<br />
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9. I was <em>there</em>.<br />
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10. Once was enough.<br />
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11. I'd struggled to get her shoes off without taking a hand off of her (She's decided she likes to go up to complete strangers and ask to be picked up. Which, in a crowded Memorial Day weekend airport, is a frickin' nightmare for a mother.), and then struggled to get my own shoes off and place our carry on in the appropriate bins, all without losing my grip on her. <br />
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12. I'd then struggled to move those bins along to the conveyor while my daughter tried her best to ride the conveyor as well. <br />
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13. I figured once I only had myself and the baby to worry about, my troubles would be over.<br />
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14. That's a refreshingly naive statement, isn't it? <br />
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15. I released my bins onto the conveyor belt, turned to face the bulky TSA agent waiting for me on the other side of the metal detector and started walking. <br />
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16. Baby J, having had quite enough of wiggling in her mother's arms, chose that exact moment to whip an arm down the front of my shirt, bend over, and heave herself toward the floor. <br />
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17. I caught her before she succeeded in her kamikaze mission, but saving her meant sacrificing something else.<br />
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18. My dignity.<br />
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19. What little I possess.<br />
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20. She yanked my shirt down to my belt line.<br />
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21. MY BELT LINE.<br />
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22. The girls were on full display as I walked through the metal detector and came eye to eye with a ridiculously embarrassed TSA agent. <br />
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23. He immediately turned away from me, sort of stumbled into the side of the metal detector, and said something like "Do you want to sit down? You should sit down. Why don't you go sit down, and I'll help you get your bins?"<br />
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24. His face sort of resembled a radish.<br />
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25. It was the fastest security check I've ever had. Why check what you've already seen, right?<br />
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26. In other news, my last day at my current job is July 7th. <br />
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27. I'm thrilled to a) be able to spend a good chunk of the summer with my kids and b) be able to support myself with writing. <br />
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28. In other, other news, I have these pesky author questionnaires to fill out, and they ask questions like "what awards have you won" and "who do you know who might help promote the book"?<br />
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29. My agent has nixed the idea of recommending my mom as a strong promoter and claiming to have won an award as Queen of the Llamas.<br />
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30. *le sigh*<br />
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31. The other day, I checked my Klout score (a tool for measuring how much influence you wield within the social media landscape) and found it to be truly enlightening.<br />
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32. According to Klout, I'm a Specialist (Kind of like Stallone, only with better grammar and waaaaaay less physical prowess) in my area of influence and people look to me for the low down on the following topics: books, authors, creative writing, young adult books, and ... *drumroll* ... LLAMAS.<br />
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33. I laughed so hard, I nearly peed my pants. I may be the only person in the world who has a social media score that revolves around llamas.<br />
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34. Though it's sort of disappointing that llamas fell behind books, authors, and creative writing. When's the last time a book spat at you and while sporting an emo flop of hair over a pair of beady eyes?<br />
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35. Exactly.<br />
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36. Anyway, there's got to be some way to include my amazing Specialist of the Llamas status to my author questionnaire, right?<br />
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37. I can slip it into my bio with none the wiser!<br />
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38. Because really? My bio needs a little ... sparkle.<br />
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39. My youngest son ran by me the other day and shouted, "You've just been PIZAZZED! What now?"<br />
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40. And I realized that's exactly what my bio needs.<br />
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41. Pizazz!<br />
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42. What could add more Pizazz! than a llama?C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-57710450285583231022011-06-13T08:00:00.005-05:002011-06-13T08:21:24.163-05:00Top Five Methods To Determine If You Are A Zombie<em>Guest post by the always entertaining <a href="http://www.lilithsaintcrow.com/journal/">Lilith Saintcrow</a></em>.<br />
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<span style="color: purple;">The zombie apocalypse has struck, but you're prepared. You've done your cardio, you know about the double-tap, and you're cautious in bathrooms. You know not to be a hero until the last quarter of the movie, especially if your partner is Woody Harrelson. But something doesn't seem quite right. You can't quite put your finger on it.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">You want to know if you're at risk. Fear not, doughty warrior facing the hordes of undead. Here are five simple methods of determining whether you're a zombie, or at risk of becoming one.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">5. <strong><u>Check your appetite!</u></strong> Do spongy, soft, wrinkled, warm human brains sound really good, instead of as disgusting as a politician's sex life? Extra points if you don't even want ketchup/mustard/salt with your hot, steaming, messy brain breakfast. If that didn't make you want to blow chunks, you might be a zombie.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">4. <strong><u>Try to run, hop, skip, or dance</u></strong>. If you can only shuffle-shamble (Dawn of the Dead) or scuttle (Night of the Living Dead remake) or move freaky-fast (28 Days Later), you're probably a zombie. </span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">3. <strong><u>Look at your leisure activities</u></strong>. Do you sit for hours chained in a shed, playing video games and making long gassy noises? Or do you crouch behind Dumpsters waiting for unwary heroes to race past? If you do, you, my friend, are probably a zombie. On the other hand, if you are practicing flinging LPs like shuriken or learning to shoot a gun in a cool montage, you're safe. For now.</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">2. <strong><u>Sniff your pits!</u></strong> If you smell like gun oil, BO, or Cheetos, you're OK. If you reek of rotting flesh (and have not shot a zombie in the head recently and been spattered with stinking goo) or if the tip of your nose falls off while you sniff, you're probably a zombie.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">1. <strong><u>Most importantly, think about your Horror Movie Karma</u></strong>. If you:</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">*have stolen something from a protagonist, </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have threatened an innocent bystander, </span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have not been allowed any speaking lines,</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*are wearing a red shirt, </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*are hearing swelling sad music or eerie drumbeats in the background, </span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have fallen in like with the Silent Grim Hero or the Spunky But Helpless Heroine,</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*had sex (if female) or fallen in unrequited love (if male),</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have acted Billy Bob Thornton-creepy while carrying a shovel OR any other household/gardening implement</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have had to run away from Kevin Bacon in creepymode,</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have realized you are a token minority in a group,</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have recently said "I don't see anything," or "What could go wrong? or "Where are you?" or "Nothing's going to happen!" or "I'd rather die than be one of those things," or any variation of the previous, </span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have forgotten to turn your cell phone off,</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have ever forgotten to lock a door/window/aperture during the course of events,</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have found out you are spunkier/sassier/sexier than a protagonist with more lines than you,</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have realized you are Sean Bean or Lance Henriksen or any other actor/actress who they have to kill so you don't steal the movie,</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">*have noticed that everything around you is dead quiet except for your own panicked gasping breathing...</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">...well, my friend, sucks to be you, you will soon be a zombie. Don't worry, though--the hero/ine will soon bash your head in or ignite you, and your agony will be brief.</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">I hope these simple guidelines help. Stay safe (and zombie-free) out there!</span><br />
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*is busy sniffing her pits and nearly misses her cue* Awesome list, Lilith. I'm nearly convinced I'm not a zombie, but I worry a bit about my neighbors ...<br />
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If you missed out on Lilith's amazing book giveaway last week, fear not! (Unless you've determined from this list that someone you love is a zombie. If that's the case, FEAR. And then RUN. And also, act as brainless as possible. I've heard that helps.) My favorite jewelry designer on Etsy, Tashina Falene (<a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/TashinaFalene?ref=pr_shop">check out her shop</a>!), has designed a one-of-a-kind necklace just for Lilith's character Jill Kismet, and I'm offering it to one lucky reader!<br />
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Here's the necklace:<br />
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Isn't it amazing? It was designed with suggestions from Lilith and is the only one that will ever be made. To win it, simply fill out the form below. There are many ways to earn extra entries, and the contest is open internationally. You have until 8 p.m. Central Time on Friday, June 17th to enter. Make sure you scroll down to answer every question on the form and hit Submit so your entry counts! :)<br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" height="900" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" src="https://spreadsheets.google.com/spreadsheet/embeddedform?formkey=dDllVHNmNnpOZ1VkRWZ0TkFrMHR6ZUE6MQ" style="height: 845px; width: 375px;" width="760"></iframe><br />
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Thanks again to Lilith for being an amazing author and giving us such a plethora of spine-tingling, heart-grabbing, edge-of-your-seat stories. If you haven't read her yet, I hope you'll pick up one of her books the next time you're looking for a fabulous read. <br />
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Check back Friday night for the winner announcement, and good luck to all!C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-85411018360706022432011-06-12T21:00:00.002-05:002011-06-12T21:13:10.007-05:00Winner of the set of Jill Kismet Books!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3gg93hmA9id0crOOKhLiaaDoklXWCs4NnJUsRQVNQNcbWCHdZ93xbT3FxUNWyfVhJfFTekJBE7ZbJT1ogdU-H3Q1_uXB9EV09fMmWmVVhiC3s9hcuirG8R5__vnzCnpQM3pUNpPAXAfZN/s1600/heavenspite.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3gg93hmA9id0crOOKhLiaaDoklXWCs4NnJUsRQVNQNcbWCHdZ93xbT3FxUNWyfVhJfFTekJBE7ZbJT1ogdU-H3Q1_uXB9EV09fMmWmVVhiC3s9hcuirG8R5__vnzCnpQM3pUNpPAXAfZN/s1600/heavenspite.jpg" t8="true" /></a></div><br />
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Thank you to all who entered the drawing for the set of Lilith Saintcrow's Jill Kismet books. (Along with a HUGE thanks to Lilith for offering a prize worthy of the Were-llama himself!) As always, I used random.org to choose the winner. And the winner is:<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><em><span style="color: purple; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Tialessa</span></em></strong></div><br />
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Congratulations! You will receive an email from me shortly. Please send me your shipping info so I can pass that along to Lilith. Thanks for entering and happy reading!<br />
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Didn't win this time? Don't worry! The majority of you voted for Lilith to post her Top Five Methods To Determine If You Are A Zombie *snicker* and that post goes up tomorrow, along with an awesome giveaway! You could win a one-of-a-kind necklace designed just for Jill Kismet. <br />
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Also this week, debut author Myra McEntire takes on Captain Jack Sparrow and gives away a signed copy of her sizzling time travel HOURGLASS! <br />
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You don't want to miss either giveaway (and both writers are entertaining like WHOA), so check back in tomorrow to get the party started. :)C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-59408771582389182032011-06-07T09:48:00.002-05:002011-06-07T09:57:47.547-05:00Interview & EPIC Giveaway with Lilith Saintcrow<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's no secret that I adore both the YA and adult books of the talented Lilith Saintcrow. And I'm not alone in this ... her <a href="http://cjredwine.blogspot.com/2011/01/interview-with-lili-st-crow.html">earlier interview</a> consistently ranks among my top ten viewed blog posts. Lilith's books are full of spine-tingling action, edge-of-your-seat suspense, and raw emotion. Her newest book in the Jill Kismet series continues the thrill ride as Jill keeps her enemies closer than her friends in an attempt to defeat the latest awful creature crawling out of the pits of hell to torment the inhabitants of Earth. Here's a peek at the story:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><em><span style="color: blue;">When a new hellbreed comes calling, playing nice isn’t an option. Jill Kismet has no choice but to seek treacherous allies – Perry, the devil she knows, and Melisande Belisa, the cunning Sorrows temptress whose true loyalties are unknown.</span></em></div><em><span style="color: blue;"></span></em><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span><br />
<em><span style="color: blue;">Kismet knows Perry and Belisa are likely playing for the same thing–her soul. It’s just too bad, because she expects to beat them at their own game. Except their game is vengeance.</span></em><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span><br />
<em><span style="color: blue;">Nobody plays vengeance like Kismet. But if the revenge she seeks damns her, her enemies might get her soul after all…</span></em></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Don't expect to get much sleep while you're reading it! I was thrilled when Lilith agreed to be interviewed again on the blog. (And wait until you see the HOLY COW AMAZING giveaway she's offering!) This time, she chose to take on that bastion of awesomeness, the Were-llama. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmdEjggATYn13DXN8tyDEW_VCFRaiyYpsa1whdFQWMgLoZHK6EGNk_MMbtB6k0e67_-rcJw9njviJ9NJPtGhgtQRY3Wl0afCKhctc1jrtfd_IzG1VA7y-mPppFwfJZXx47Qrllabx3NJmx/s1600/were+llama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmdEjggATYn13DXN8tyDEW_VCFRaiyYpsa1whdFQWMgLoZHK6EGNk_MMbtB6k0e67_-rcJw9njviJ9NJPtGhgtQRY3Wl0afCKhctc1jrtfd_IzG1VA7y-mPppFwfJZXx47Qrllabx3NJmx/s1600/were+llama.jpg" t8="true" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Were-llama</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lilith Saintcrow</td></tr>
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Now that you know who's who, let's dive into the interview and reveal the cupcake my hubby made in honor of HEAVEN'S SPITE. In the novel, there are pale oval doors between our world and hell, and misshapen appendages try to pull their way through those openings. My hubby decided to make a cupcake depicting one of those fruitless bids for freedom. Without further ado, I give you Lilith vs. the Were-llama and the cupcake doorway to Hell.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why no, that isn't a door knocker. That's a hand. A silvery hand. A silvery hellish undead hand of DOOM.<br />
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</tbody></table><strong>1. So, you’re a writer. I’m a super-scary shape-shifter who can command obedience with the awesome power of my glowing red eyes. What do we have in common?</strong><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><em>In addition to being a writer, I am a mother. Which means I can command obedience with a single scorching look, an aggrieved sigh, or a single word. The power of my Mommy Voice can stun an entire class of seventh-graders into silence, halt a teenage boy in his tracks, and turn adults into children caught at the cookie jar in an instant.</em></span><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">I do try to only use my powers for good.</span></em><br />
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<strong>2. I was impressed right up until that last sentence. Only use powers for good? Pfft! Where's the fun in that? I like to spit at my enemies from whichever end is closest to them. Do any of your characters have cool abilities like that?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">Not quite that…theatrical. One of my characters can bring the dead back to answer probate questions. Another can set things on fire with her mind. Yet another can get shot with an assault rifle and get up ready to kick serious ass. They’re a mixed bunch. But no, not as…cool…as your abilities.</span></em><br />
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<strong>3. I see what you're trying to do with that deliberate little hesitation before the word "cool." You deal with a face-full of llama spit (from either end!) and then we'll talk about who's COOL. If I had a nickname, it would be The Awesome. You?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">“Tiger Lili.” It’s what my bouldering partner calls me at the climbing wall. Probably because I enthusiastically throw myself at the wall like a maniac, and claw my way up through sheer force of will.</span></em><br />
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<strong>4. I don't claw my way up anything by sheer force of will. I make humans do that for me. I hang around this blog because I love stories. What’s your story about? Bonus points if it includes a llama.</strong><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><em>My story’s about a woman who wakes up in her own grave out in the desert, covered in wasps and amnesiac. As usual, she’s got to save the world, but that’s tough to do if you can’t even remember your own name. Things just get worse from there. I am greatly saddened to report that I was not talented enough to put a llama in.</em></span><br />
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<strong>5. *sighs* So few truly understand the literary genius of adding a llama to the story. You’re making me a cake worthy of my awesome Were-llama status and decorating it to represent your story. What does it look like?</strong><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><em>Burned, blood-spattered, scattered with silver charms and spent ammo casings, drenched with rainwater, sliced by hellbreed claws. Rendered in exquisite confectionary detail, and, of course, delicious. (After all, CJ’s husband is drafted to make it. Right?)</em></span><br />
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<strong>6. Your offering has been deemed acceptable. And yes, C.J.'s long-suffering husband makes all confectionery carnage in this household. Any Were-llamas in your book? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">I wish! Alas, my literary talents are not considerable enough for the challenge of portraying the nuance, the grandeur, the sheer scope of the Were-llama. My lack of ability fills me with despair.</span></em><br />
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<strong>7. *pats you on the head* The accurate portrayal of the majestic Were-llama and his formidable spitting abilities is more than most authors dare attempt. We are, however, notoriously sneaky and might have slipped in under your radar. Anyone who might be a Were-llama and you just haven’t figured it out yet?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">I can’t think of a single character worthy of that high status. Although there probably are a tribe of Were-llamas in Jill Kismet’s world.</span></em><br />
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<strong>8. If there are an entire tribe, rest assured, Madam, that they shall soon rule that world. With a business end at BOTH ends, no one escapes the wrath of the Were-llama. Llamas or camels and why? Think carefully.</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">Llamas, of course! They are ideal for home defense. I once (and this is 100% absolutely completely true, before you ask) knew a Reiki master who had a herd of sheep; he had a llama to guard them. He said the llama scared the coyotes so bad they never came back. I believe this.</span></em><br />
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<strong>9. There was a brief, tragic time in our history in which we were used as spitting guard dogs for the benefit of humans. But we've since handed that role over to donkeys (They have a high kick to rival that of any Vegas showgirl.) and are intent on ruling the humans instead. I give you a baby Were-llama as a companion. What do you name her?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">Whatever she pleases.</span></em><br />
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<strong>10. A wise answer. My favorite word is “awesome” because, yanno, look at me. What’s yours?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">I can’t choose! Words are a neverending smorgasbord of delight, a banquet of sensual joy. I love them all. Each word is exquisite. I can’t pick a favourite, though I do sometimes whip out “antidisestablishmentarianism” to trip the unwary.</span></em><br />
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<strong>11. I sometimes whip my hair back and forth to trip the unwary, but whatever works for you. As a young Were-llama, I dreamt of taking over the eastern seaboard one face full of spit at a time. What did you dream of doing when you were young?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">I’m afraid my dreams most often centred on simple survival. Where I grew up, dreaming was dangerous. One had to be alert at all times, and dreaming was a liability.</span></em><br />
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<strong>12. No wonder you have an innate appreciate for the ferocity of the Were-llama. I'm glad to see your dreams now give us doorways to hell and women bent on revenge. Now, all you need to do is add a llama to your next story, and you'll be the complete package. Cake or cookies?</strong><br />
<em><span style="color: blue;">Yes, thank you.</span></em><br />
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<strong>13. Do you share chocolate?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">With my writing partner or my teenage daughter, yes. Because they know where I sleep. Anyone else, it depends on the time of month—and their methods of begging or persuasion.</span></em><br />
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<strong>14. I refuse to beg or persuade, but I have no doubt you would share with ME. The Zombie Goat invasion is upon us. How will you fight them off?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">Firepower. Sledgehammers. Katanas. Kerosene. High-heeled shoes. Sippy cups. Bendy straws. Toothpicks. Grand pianos. Wet noodles. In short, anything I can get my hands, feet, teeth, elbows, knees, or nose on. In the face of a Zombie Goat invasion, everything is a weapon. Everything.</span></em><br />
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<strong>Silly girl. All you need is a tribe of Were-llamas.</strong><br />
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Thank you, Lilith, for once again delivering a fabulously entertaining interview! To learn more about Lilith and her awesome books, visit her <a href="http://www.lilithsaintcrow.com/journal/">site.</a> To purchase HEAVEN'S SPITE, head <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Heavens-Spite-Jill-Kismet-Hunter/dp/0316074179/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307457032&sr=1-1">here</a>. But of course, the fun isn't over yet!<br />
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Lilith has generously offered to give away the ENTIRE SET of Jill Kismet books to one lucky commenter! If the winner is from North America, the set will be signed. If the winner is from anywhere else, the books will arrive via Book Depository. That's five books!<br />
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How HOLY COW AMAZING is that?? <br />
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And that's not all! Next Monday, you'll get a chance to read Lilith's Top Five list and be entered into a drawing for a one-of-a-kind necklace designed especially for HEAVEN'S SPITE. Trust me, this necklace is awesome!<br />
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To enter the drawing for the set of Kismet books, please fill out the form below. And don't forget to vote one which Top Five list you'd like to see from Lilith this Monday! The poll closes on Friday, June 10th at 10 p.m. Central Time. The drawing for the set of Kismet books closes at 8 p.m. Central Time on Sunday, June 12th. <br />
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What are you waiting for? Fill out the entry form, vote in the poll (located on my sidebar), and check back Monday to see who won and to enter the drawing for the one-of-a-kind Jill Kismet necklace!<br />
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C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-15635724650483031452011-05-19T11:27:00.000-05:002011-05-19T11:27:30.612-05:00SOLD!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL7e7OtPaXvbhms4P4kmFNxoTJfRpIBuHFzYr0vnzBA9zpt2IwLnu6iOTXc4UtkHGvDKKoKIgIPxNRT7s7OPAnj445Ykiil47IRNn7ZaxuVRs-6EL6-s-LUfXnpwCKnTJRzhLlADtB4GO8/s1600/cat+arms+raised.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL7e7OtPaXvbhms4P4kmFNxoTJfRpIBuHFzYr0vnzBA9zpt2IwLnu6iOTXc4UtkHGvDKKoKIgIPxNRT7s7OPAnj445Ykiil47IRNn7ZaxuVRs-6EL6-s-LUfXnpwCKnTJRzhLlADtB4GO8/s320/cat+arms+raised.bmp" width="306" /></a></div><br />
I've been sitting on this news for over a week, now. Remember last week when I said part of my May was WOW? This is the WOW, announced in Publisher's Lunch today:<br />
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<span id="yui_3_2_0_3_13058106083051010" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">CJ Redwine's THE COURIER'S DAUGHTER, a YA fantasy debut in which an independent girl sets out to rescue her father from the Wasteland outside their cloistered city and in the process finds danger, heartbreak, and a new romance with her father's apprentice, to <a href="http://www.publishersmarketplace.com/cgi-bin/dealmaker.pl?id=21191" rel="nofollow" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted; color: #333399; font-weight: normal; outline-style: none; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1305816668_4">Kristin Daly Rens</span></a> at <a href="http://www.publishersmarketplace.com/cgi-bin/dealmaker.pl?id=8518" rel="nofollow" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted; color: #333399; font-weight: normal; outline-style: none; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1305816668_5">Balzer & Bray</span></a>, at auction, in a three-book deal, by <a href="http://www.publishersmarketplace.com/cgi-bin/dealmaker.pl?id=4858" rel="nofollow" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted; color: #333399; font-weight: normal; outline-style: none; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1305816668_6">Holly Root</span></a> at <a href="http://www.publishersmarketplace.com/cgi-bin/dealmaker.pl?id=443" rel="nofollow" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted; color: #333399; font-weight: normal; outline-style: none; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1305816668_7">Waxman Literary Agency</span></a> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm so thrilled. I have no idea how to make this font look like the font I started with, but my status as resident TechIdiot doesn't matter because I sold!! :)</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">I'm really excited to work with Kristin. I had phone calls with each of the editors interested in my book, and I took detailed notes. Except with Kristin. I got so caught up in enjoying the conversation with her, that I didn't take a single note. When I hung up, I realized what I'd done, and that I had no time to recall all the pieces of shiny awesomeness from our conversation, so instead, I simply wrote "I love her!!!" and moved on.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">How fortunate to be able to work with someone whom I truly enjoy, and who has the same vision for my book as I do! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">Also? My agent Holly did such an amazing job in selling this trilogy that I get to quit my day job once I receive the advance and stay home to write and be a mom. YAY!!!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">I'm so overwhelmed at the outpouring of good wishes and support I've received today on Twitter, FB, and my inbox. Thank you to all who've celebrated with me. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">And extra thanks to Katy, Mandy, Heather, Sara, and Shannon for being my first readers and for helping me make this book shine. :)</span>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com77tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-53700829120638188302011-05-12T10:27:00.000-05:002011-05-13T15:35:56.963-05:00Bring Your Crazy To ME<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj38gWoCYYjPNhlGItZc2XYCNuEHrYeLLe5huSy6r_FZoc_pybnepUWOTdauOIOHN2wQGAHAW4pAWlOFnPXI4u4eF6gqA5qtC2t15fLi-WXm6YpM6AnRnU8Fl1-V9OryPnX-vNJUzBAVSv/s1600/cat+farewell+to+arms.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj38gWoCYYjPNhlGItZc2XYCNuEHrYeLLe5huSy6r_FZoc_pybnepUWOTdauOIOHN2wQGAHAW4pAWlOFnPXI4u4eF6gqA5qtC2t15fLi-WXm6YpM6AnRnU8Fl1-V9OryPnX-vNJUzBAVSv/s320/cat+farewell+to+arms.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This picture has absolutely nothing to do wth this post. </td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
1. What a terrible blogger I've been this week!<br />
<br />
2. Feel free to sternly admonish me, or slip a little money toward Beth Revis for her next dastardly assault against my person.<br />
<br />
3. I don't know how it can possibly be the middle of May already. <br />
<br />
4. I suspect nargles had something to do with it.<br />
<br />
5. My May has been full of BUSY and WOW and YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.<br />
<br />
6. The BUSY is kind of boring, actually. It involves working the day job, neglecting my email account, fighting a losing battle with the laundry, and desperately trying to keep food in my cupboards.<br />
<br />
7. Three boys (1 teenage, 2 almost)? Eat like maybe this meal, THIS MEAL, this one they're eating five seconds after their last meal, will be all the food they ever see again.<br />
<br />
8. I've taken to hiding food just to make it last.<br />
<br />
9. I've advised them that perhaps they should educate themselves on any edible foliage available in Middle Tennessee, and then hie themselves to a local field and forage for their supper.<br />
<br />
10. My BUSY also included teaching workshops and critiquing two holy-crap-awesome books for two of my CPs.<br />
<br />
11. Sadly, my BUSY did not include a role in the upcoming Pirates movie. Or lunch with Johnny Depp. Or well-deserved recognition as the reigning Queen of __insert appropriate title here__.<br />
<br />
12. My WOW moments I've either blogged or am planning to blog, so I won't take the fun out of reading a future blog post by detailing it now.<br />
<br />
13. It does, however, involve a llama.<br />
<br />
14. Of sorts.<br />
<br />
15. Speaking of llamas, some of my employees were talking the other day, and as I approached, they pulled me into the conversation with the following totally irresistible question: What animal would you hate to be killed by?<br />
<br />
16. Naturally, I quickly clarified my staunch Do Not Die By Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral policy.<br />
<br />
17. They said, "Well, if you HAD to die by animal, which would be the worst?"<br />
<br />
18. I said, "Llama."<br />
<br />
19. They all responded with varying degrees of shock, laughter, and bemusement. Turns out, they all said stuff like bears, tigers, jaguars, or snakes.<br />
<br />
20. I don't actually want to die by bears, tigers, jaguars, or snakes either.<br />
<br />
21. But at least THEN, my obituary could sound like I was a swashbuckling adventurer! A daring explorer! Bear Grylls!<br />
<br />
22. There's no dignity in death by llama.<br />
<br />
23. There's SPIT, ergo loss of face.<br />
<br />
24. And while llamas are fierce and mean and thoroughly bad-tempered when they want to be, nobody really expects to be killed by one, so therefore, not only is there a loss of dignity and face, there's also the potential to become an urban legend--the one woman stupid enough to get herself axed by an Alpaca.<br />
<br />
25. No thanks.<br />
<br />
26. On the YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME front, two things of note.<br />
<br />
27. One, both our air conditioning units said <em>Adios, Muchachos!</em> this spring. Probably because of a llama.<br />
<br />
28. One cannot face a Middle Tennessee summer without air conditioning.<br />
<br />
29. The weather climbed into the high 80s and low 90s this past week, and we were MISERABLE. <br />
<br />
30. Which meant the kids were miserable. <br />
<br />
31. Which meant WE were miserable times a gazillion and forty-six.<br />
<br />
32. Yesterday, we finally got both units replaced, the house cooled down, and everyone finally slept well for the first time in days.<br />
<br />
33. The other YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME note is this: <br />
<br />
34. You'll recall last week I blogged about the new employee who thought the world really would end in 2012 (because we live on an active volcano...ALL THE EARTH is an active volcano?). <br />
<br />
35. Against all odds, I came in contact with someone else a few days ago who pretty much believes the same thing.<br />
<br />
36. It's like I have a sign over my head that says "Bring your crazy to ME."C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-63584815011899292122011-05-05T11:14:00.000-05:002011-05-05T11:14:50.103-05:00Tin Foil Hat!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUaH85EdoibhvavgD4CacrqowBjpklNJ7VCnmW2bdRhGjglPYyzD5ucDEF1OCjGZyJ_v0GKLj3mGJfql38aAkRSzxezWBWkCOt772bNY5M8kZbgt9onbA_64HRbYlVhGAczyVmLhTTrDpN/s1600/cat+end+of+the+world.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUaH85EdoibhvavgD4CacrqowBjpklNJ7VCnmW2bdRhGjglPYyzD5ucDEF1OCjGZyJ_v0GKLj3mGJfql38aAkRSzxezWBWkCOt772bNY5M8kZbgt9onbA_64HRbYlVhGAczyVmLhTTrDpN/s1600/cat+end+of+the+world.jpg" /></a></div><br />
1. A list on Thursday? *cue gasp*<br />
<br />
2. Yes. Because somehow, Monday-Wednesday slipped into a swirling vortex of DOOM, never to be heard from again.<br />
<br />
3. But during my stint in the vortex of DOOM, I had an encounter which must be blogged. <br />
<br />
4. It went like this:<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: Welcome to your first day of training! I've had lunch served for us. If you could please be seated, we'll eat, and then get started.<br />
<br />
<strong>New Employee</strong>: *sits* *looks at food* This looks good. I ate something earlier because I had to take medication for my __insert incomprehensible medical term here__. They say never to take medication on an empty stomach. The last time I did that, I was puking my toenails up for a week.<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: *pushes own food away* How charming.<br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: I mean, you can't mess with an empty stomach, you know?<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: I'm aware.<br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: *takes a huge bite and leans forward* So, do you think the world is going to end in 2010 like they say it is?<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: I beg your pardon?<br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: The world? Do you think it's going to end in 2012? Because everyone says it will, you know.<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: Ah, no. I don't. I don't think anyone can predict something like that.<br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: So you discount all the proof from all the scientists who say it will?<br />
<br />
<strong>Me:</strong> What scientists?<br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: ALL the scientists.<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: *thinks snarky thoughts about scientists who wear tin foil as headgear, but keeps polite smile plastered to her face* I think we don't need to worry about something we couldn't possibly control. Isn't it better to live your life to the best of your ability TODAY? <br />
<br />
<strong>NE:</strong> Oh, sure. Yes. But you know, we're living on an active volcano.<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: *checks new employee for signs of tin foil headgear* Are we?<br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: The whole earth is just one giant volcano. One day it will erupt and then where will we be?<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: Wishing we had marshmallows and chocolate?<br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: *blinks* I don't know what good that will do you when you're about to be consumed by flaming lava.<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: Never mind.<br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: And under the volcano is nothing but water, so if one doesn't get us, the other will. The whole earth is just going to crack open and let it all through. The scientists say so.<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: Well, wouldn't the water counter-act the lava?<br />
<br />
<strong>NE:</strong> *stares at me* That's not what all the scientists say. Besides, didn't you see that movie?<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: Which one? <br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: The one where the world ends in 2012 because of natural disasters.<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: You mean the movie <em>2012???</em><br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: It's already begun. Look at the tornadoes. The floods last year. Japan.<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: I don't think 2012 is supposed to be taken literally.<br />
<br />
<strong>NE:</strong> They were right on track with what the scientists say.<br />
<br />
<strong>Me:</strong> It's not a documentary. You know that, right?<br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: It's all going to end in a few months.<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: I wonder what it would take to speed up that process.<br />
<br />
<strong>NE</strong>: Oh, that's easy. Too much use of microwave ovens. You know those things rip holes in the fabric of our universe.<br />
<br />
<strong>Me</strong>: Shoot me. Now.C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-58193363702322581042011-05-03T09:57:00.001-05:002011-05-04T06:58:07.815-05:00Search Term: FAIL<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNZ6nfbh_weeKthXVWhsMzdMijkylN4Gbfe4dQ-uXN4yBrZMfh44HcBcbBKetjZ7BMM88QeMlPQVh4F5zju0mvpeS4DP02pAD5HrLUtucIm_ZShKfNAnEZB2Aki5v61qcNVKOUV_ByXZe1/s1600/epic-fail-placement-fail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNZ6nfbh_weeKthXVWhsMzdMijkylN4Gbfe4dQ-uXN4yBrZMfh44HcBcbBKetjZ7BMM88QeMlPQVh4F5zju0mvpeS4DP02pAD5HrLUtucIm_ZShKfNAnEZB2Aki5v61qcNVKOUV_ByXZe1/s320/epic-fail-placement-fail.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Every now and then, I check to see what search terms are leading hapless readers to my blog. This time, I found a few that are simply too strange not to share. <br />
<br />
1. <strong><u>Don't start nothing you can't finish:</u></strong> I feel to truly understand this search phrase, I may need a lesson on how, exactly, one starts nothing and then proceeds to finish it. <br />
<br />
2. <strong><u>Man the Jelly-hole, Captain!</u></strong>: I don't even want to know. Actually, I <em>do</em> want to know, but that's the sort of intrepid curiosity that once got my tongue stuck to a block of salt in a GOAT PEN, so .... no thank you. Lesson learned.<br />
<br />
3. <u><strong>Are ostriches suicidal?:</strong></u> They can be. I think if you combine their suicidal tendencies with their clear anxiety and avoidance issues (Why else would they stick their heads in the sand to hide from predators?), it's pretty clear someone should be slipping some Prozac into their food supply.<br />
<br />
4. <strong><u>Cupcake discrepancy</u></strong>: I don't know what kind of discrepancy this searcher had in his cupcake, but the cupcakes on THIS blog are always awesome.<br />
<br />
5. <strong><u>Friggin' frack</u></strong>: I can't explain this. In the four years I've been running this blog, I don't think I've ever typed either "friggin'" or "frack." The fact that this search term landed the reader on a post about lemonade makes it even more mysterious. Perhaps Google was having a little joke at this reader's expense? Friggin' frack!<br />
<br />
6. <u><strong>Are you a redneck if you wear underwear outside your clothes?:</strong></u> No, sir, you are not. You are simply an idiot.<br />
<br />
7. <strong><u>C.J. Redwine hooch</u></strong>: Really? REALLY? Hooch? As in the esophagus-melting swill a few misguided souls brew in their bathtubs? Or as in hoochie-mama? Either way, I invite you to come say it to my face. I'll show you how to turn hooch into a verb. To hooch: The act of pulling someone's internal organs out their left nostril. <br />
<br />
8. <u><strong>How to snort things</strong></u>: Things? My dear reader, as an accidental snorter-extraordinaire, allow me to tell you that narrowing the field of the "things" you are willing to snort is a step in the right direction. Although, since your question seems to reveal a lack of understanding of the basic concept of jerking large quantities of air through your nose in a manner designed to produce a sound reminiscent of an angry boar, I fear you need practice before you can move on to snorting "things." And may I recommend you steer clear of fresh cinnamon gum and chicken nuggets in your snorting exploits? Those two items alone have nearly been the death of me.<br />
<br />
9. <strong><u>Should I poop?:</u></strong> *blinks* I can't really answer that without knowing further details of your dilemma and frankly, you've already told me TOO MUCH for my own personal comfort. I'm going to take a gamble, though, and go with YES. Yes, you probably should. Though, I don't really understand why the alternative was even a consideration.<br />
<br />
And finally, my personal favorite:<br />
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10. <strong><u>The grossest website ever</u></strong>: I was about to strenuously argue against this unfair association with my blog, but then I realized in this post alone I reference poop, snorting chicken nuggets, jelly-holes, and wearing underwear outside one's clothes, so ... sure. Okay. Whatever, Google. But if I'm going to carry the title, by golly, you'd better be ready to give me a crown. *holds out hand and waits*C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-39044303495518236122011-04-28T07:09:00.002-05:002011-04-28T07:09:33.409-05:00Oh, YES<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px;"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mObK5XD8udk?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mObK5XD8udk?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-29574918825600770242011-04-25T20:20:00.000-05:002011-04-25T20:20:06.007-05:00Winner of THE VESPERTINE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZHTHyl6JjewQyT8JATC5_2aqMZtaTGrcB6UYc-kzrphBl1-2FQmEiw12Zc5FEfXLC7ITyRN6HBms95BnO97V7ZC-pBv8n9EWUebUQO89kiaKb7sKtvgGdnL-eAPyeRVF4uPNWMVr0F8v8/s1600/tv-hardcover-small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" i8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZHTHyl6JjewQyT8JATC5_2aqMZtaTGrcB6UYc-kzrphBl1-2FQmEiw12Zc5FEfXLC7ITyRN6HBms95BnO97V7ZC-pBv8n9EWUebUQO89kiaKb7sKtvgGdnL-eAPyeRVF4uPNWMVr0F8v8/s1600/tv-hardcover-small.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Thank you to all who entered the contest to win a signed copy of Saundra Mitchell's THE VESPERTINE. As always, I used random.org to choose the winner. And the winner is:<br />
<br />
<div align="center"><strong><em><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Tristan</span></em></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Congratulations! Please email me with your shipping address, and I'll forward it on to Saundra. My email is on my About page. Thanks again for entering, and happy reading!</div>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-72052168113963012052011-04-25T10:25:00.000-05:002015-04-03T10:13:04.700-05:00Wherein I Lose Half My Face<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
1. This list might be more random than usual, but there's a theme. WATER.<br />
<br />
2. That's important.<br />
<br />
3. Before I explain myself, let me tell you a few things you probably don't need to know, and one thing you DO need to know.<br />
<br />
4. Important: Today is the last day to enter to <a href="http://cjredwine.blogspot.com/2011/04/interview-with-saundra-mitchell.html">win a signed copy</a> of Saundra Mitchell's THE VESPERTINE. Don't miss out!<br />
<br />
5. Now, for some not so important things. Etsy is <strike>mildly entertaining</strike> <strike>sort of interesting</strike> <strike>somewhat diverting</strike> CRACK!<br />
<br />
6. It is crack. Not only do they have some awesome stores whose wares I frequently drool over, <span style="text-align: center;">they also have a feature where you can curate your own treasury list of items based on a theme of your choosing.</span><br />
<br />
7. Reader, I cannot resist this. <br />
<br />
8. Last night, I made four lists. Because I adore them, and because I cannot possibly have <strike>wasted</strike> spent that much time on something without at least the excuse of sharing it with you, I give you the following:<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4db56b0a6c6d8eef89d6ef27/the-colors-of-summer">The Colors of Summer</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4db5001811b86d917f48d4a3/lifes-a-beach">Life's A Beach</a> (This is my favorite, I think)</li>
<li><a href="http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4db4f46030896d910b0e319f/i-love-a-rainy-day">I Love A Rainy Day</a> (This one is the most popular with Etsy folks so far)</li>
<li><a href="http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4db4edb5215c8eef2b2f6469/pretty-in-pink">Pretty In Pink</a></li>
</ul>
9. You see why I started this post by telling you I'd be sharing some things you didn't need to know.<br />
<br />
10. Now, for something of dire importance.<br />
<br />
11. Water done WRONG.<br />
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12. Cue ridiculously WRONG visual aid that actually has nothing to do with the following story except for a vague connection to water.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look at me! I am so WRONG, I might be right. Okay, no. I am just WRONG. But hey, you're still looking.</td></tr>
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13. Two weeks ago, I went to the dentist to have a filling replaced. <br />
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14. When one goes to the dentist, one does not expect to be risking one's life.<br />
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15. OR, if one is risking one's life, one expects it to be because one coughed while the hygienist had that sharp, pointy thing inside one's mouth aimed most inconveniently at the back of one's throat.<br />
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16. One does not expect to risk one's life while rinsing.<br />
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17. I usually have the same hygienist every time I visit my dentist. She's a lovely woman with two beautiful daughters, an affinity for adoption, and the charming ability to clean my teeth without causing me cardiac arrest.<br />
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18. This time, a new hygienist was in charge of helping the dentist with the entire procedure. I'm sure she's a perfectly lovely woman too. When she isn't a) trying to kill me, b) trying to discuss Kathie Lee and Hoda with me while shoving her hands down my throat, and c) trying to KILL ME.<br />
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19. The problem started when the dentist realized my filling needed to be replaced because apparently I clench my teeth at night, and therefore I'd cracked the outside of my tooth. This necessitated more work than she'd anticipated, and so she had to make sure I was not just numb, but <em>My Lip Might Be Wrapped Around The Bottom Of My Shoe And I Don't Care</em> numb.<br />
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20. This took three shots.<br />
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21. By the time the third shot kicked it, I no longer knew how to properly work the muscles in my face.<br />
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22. Heck, I wasn't even sure I still <em>had</em> a face.<br />
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23. And I was pretty sure I might be drooling.<br />
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24. Enter the new hygienist, a perky woman with a Wisconsin accent who kept asking me questions and then saying "Ya, ya, ya" and laughing.<br />
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25. I had no real issue with that, until she started expecting an answer.<br />
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26. I tried to give her one when she pointed to the tv in the corner and asked something about whatever asinine thing Kathy Lee and Hoda were doing, but it sort of sounded like <em>Mumfpshs. Shrumboobab. Oogg</em>. And I don't think she truly understood me.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/XBqY6cJD3CE" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe><br />
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27. Also? When I opened my mouth? Drool. Like WHOA.<br />
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28. Still, none of that was life-threatening.<br />
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29. The dentist came in, confirmed that I was now missing half of my face, tilted me so far back in the chair that blood rushed to my head, and began to drill. <br />
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30. None of that was life-threatening either.<br />
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31. But when she finished her first round of drilling, looked at the hygienist, and said "Rinse," I wish I'd understood that "rinse" was code for "flush every orifice you can reach." Because if I'd understood <em><strong>that</strong></em> salient piece of information, I would've taken myself right out of that office, face or no face.<br />
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32. But I didn't. So I sat there, my head significantly lower than my body, my mouth still crammed with instruments of torture, and let the hygienist poke the water hose into my mouth and turn it on.<br />
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33. The water instantly flooded my sinuses.<br />
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34. And began to leak out my nose.<br />
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35. And I could not breathe.<br />
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36. But I was missing half of my face, so I couldn't <em>say</em> that I couldn't breathe.<br />
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37. I tried. It sounded like "Ibbba coggggg bwaaaannthmp."<br />
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38. The hygienist leaned forward and said, "What's that, dear?"<br />
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39. By this time, I'd begun to accompany my failed attempts at communication with full-on body twitches, and a wild attempt to sit up that had her exclaiming in alarm and gently shoving me back into position.<br />
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40. I tried again. "The waaaa woooonnnnn umph maaaa nossssh."<br />
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41. "That's nice, dear," she said. And I began to wish terrible, terrible things would happen to her. Things involving water hoses, and duct tape, and a constant loop of Richard Simmons, the early years, on her VCR.<br />
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42. The dentist was better skilled at interpreting words from people with half a face. She said "Did the water go up your nose?"<br />
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43. "Yumshhhh," I said.<br />
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44. "Oops," she said. "Sorry about that."<br />
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45. I accepted her apology as graciously as a girl with half a face, a mouthful of metal instruments, and a chin dripping a continuous string of drool could possibly do. But then, THEN, she finished drilling a second time and said "Rinse."<br />
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46. And, dear reader, the hygienist poked the hose into my mouth and once more filled my sinuses with water.<br />
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47. At this point, I realized I'd neglected to ask a very important question. <br />
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48. I jerked away from her, snort-snerked the water out of my sinuses as best I could (not the easiest task when I only had half a face to work with), and said the following: <em>"Ooo yuuuu knoaaaoo Beffff Revvissshhh?"</em><br />
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49. Because it occurred to me that my hygienist was trying to kill me. And anyone who expects to carry on a conversation with a girl who's lost half her face while having a mouth full of every piece of equipment known to the dentisting world couldn't possibly have come up with such a dastardly plot on her own. <a href="http://cjredwine.blogspot.com/2011/04/beth-revis-tried-to-kill-me.html">Beth Revis</a>, having failed in her first attempt, had to be behind it.<br />
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50. Both the dentist and the hygienist pretended not to know what I was talking about, (In fact, they acted somewhat confused as to who Beth Revis was and why I'd be asking about her.) but they didn't fool me. This had Beth Revis written all over it.<br />
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51. Especially when the hygienist pretended to feel bad for nearly drowning me a second time, yanked the hose from my mouth, and managed to squirt me UP THE NOSE from the OUTSIDE and then score a direct hit IN MY EYE before remembering to turn off the water.<br />
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52. I would've given her a piece of my mind, but figured the lack of enunciation, coupled with the drool, might mitigate the impact.<br />
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53. Plus, I didn't want to give her any further cause to go after the few orifices she'd missed.<br />
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54. I left the dentist's office and went straight to Books A Million to finish revising TCD, a move which may, in retrospect, have been ill-advised.<br />
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55. You'll recall that this is the same coffee shop where just the week before, the day <a href="http://cjredwine.blogspot.com/2011/04/beth-revis-tried-to-kill-me.html">Beth Revis first tried to kill me</a>, I'd contorted my face in all manner of unnatural positions while unknowingly looking like a homeless woman? <br />
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56. Now, I was walking into the coffee shop with half of my face dangling around my knees.<br />
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57. The barista greeted me, and I tried to nonchalantly greet her in return, but I'm pretty sure it was a fail. A) because it sounded something like "<em>Doonnmt maaandd mee aaah wassshhh almoooossssht killllebd aat thbe dennntissssshbt"</em>, B) because she looked at me with pity and offered me a free raspberry chocolate smoothie sample, and C) because when I sat down, I realized I was still drooling.C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-63315886816231629732011-04-21T10:56:00.000-05:002011-04-21T10:56:03.306-05:00Interview With Saundra Mitchell<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4hNwwkCvA60khIV-1zQGWM3j48X5m__FtC4cxolUvE__u6XHZcWJlYRIqPoc391o0WcTmkqICII24GnF0qmb_0NroH12KRWzCbIaRIAwactI35a6TnL1zm2oMJ8tY7wnENhZ2u11lAcQ-/s1600/tv-hardcover-small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" i8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4hNwwkCvA60khIV-1zQGWM3j48X5m__FtC4cxolUvE__u6XHZcWJlYRIqPoc391o0WcTmkqICII24GnF0qmb_0NroH12KRWzCbIaRIAwactI35a6TnL1zm2oMJ8tY7wnENhZ2u11lAcQ-/s1600/tv-hardcover-small.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I've known Saundra via Twitter for some time, and have always admired her friendliness, industry knowledge, and sense of humor. But when she entered into an 80's flashback contest with me (and a few others) and not only held her own, but sort of blew the rest of us out of the water, I decided she was my kind of girl. :) I've been hearing nothing but amazing things about THE VESPERTINE, so I was thrilled when Saundra agreed to be on the blog. (I wonder if she's wearing leg warmers and a banana comb while rocking out to a hair band ballad right now?) Here's a peek at THE VESPERTINE:<br />
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<blockquote><em>The summer of 1889 is the one between childhood and womanhood for Amelia van den Broek-and thankfully, she’s not spending it at home in rural Maine. She’s been sent to Baltimore to stay with her stylish cousin, Zora, who will show her all the pleasures of city life and help her find a suitable man to marry.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
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<em>Archery in the park, dazzling balls and hints of forbidden romance-Victorian Baltimore is more exciting than Amelia imagined. But her gaiety is interrupted by disturbing, dreamlike visions she has only at sunset-visions that offer glimpses of the future. Soon, friends and strangers alike call on Amelia to hear her prophecies. Newly dubbed “Maine’s Own Mystic”, Amelia is suddenly quite in demand.</em><br />
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<em>However, her attraction to Nathaniel, an artist who is decidedly outside of Zora’s circle, threatens the new life Amelia is building in Baltimore. This enigmatic young man is keeping secrets of his own- still, Amelia finds herself irrepressibly drawn to him. And while she has no trouble seeing the futures of others, she cannot predict whether Nathaniel will remain in hers.</em><br />
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</em><br />
<em>When one of her darkest visions comes to pass, Amelia’s world is thrown into chaos. And those around her begin to wonder if she’s not the seer of dark portents, but the cause.</em></blockquote>Victorian Baltimore, romance in trouble, and intrigue? Sign me up! Saundra decided to be interviewed by the always debonair Captain Jack Sparrow. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Captain Jack</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Saundra Mitchell</td></tr>
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Before we get to the interview, it's time to reveal the gorgeous cupcake my hubby made in honor of Saundra's book. Saundra sent me a few pictures of things that are significant in THE VESPERTINE, and my hubby chose to make an edible replica of a sunburst jewelry charm. Without further ado, I give you the sunburst cupcake and Saundra's interview with Captain Jack.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrHJeq6E9Q8mMfBapJZBXP-fZkhL3Co8b_97LPZ-SXKkS-qqarQYrVa-yGp9YJKSBZtlsf0fe2QQ3VihrVdYBHEXGxRIjXvcKeysrB6koPmXzJOznR6SkGZnyf0fDbkg4ybNjlENk2iPgt/s1600/sunburst+cupcake.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" i8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrHJeq6E9Q8mMfBapJZBXP-fZkhL3Co8b_97LPZ-SXKkS-qqarQYrVa-yGp9YJKSBZtlsf0fe2QQ3VihrVdYBHEXGxRIjXvcKeysrB6koPmXzJOznR6SkGZnyf0fDbkg4ybNjlENk2iPgt/s320/sunburst+cupcake.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
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<strong>1. Would you classify yourself as a pirate or a member of Her Majesty’s Royal navy? Why?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">I would classify myself as neither. If I said HMRN, we'd be enemies. If I said pirate, we'd be competitors. I fly a curiously neutral flag, sir. Although it does have a tiny green ninja in the bottom right hand corner, which is especially meaningful.</span></em><br />
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<strong>2. I am unfamiliar with the concept of a tiny green ninja, but as long as ninjas don't drink my rum, all is well. What’s your favorite thing to do in Tortuga?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Oh, you know. Kicking back with some reads. Selling dead men's secrets. The usual.</span></em><br />
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<strong>3. Hm. An entrepreneur of the shady and somewhat questionable side? Darling, you intrigue me. I’m offering you free passage aboard my ship to anywhere in the world. Where shall we go, love?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Great Britain. I want to see Tintagel and Glastonbury Tor, and the stone rings, and the old Roman roads, and Hadrian's Wall, and Sutton Hoo, and the Elgin Marbles and all the lovely things from Egyptian Antiquity that the British Museum has in its possession. And since we're already in the neighborhood, be a dear and nick us over to Ireland, too!</span></em><br />
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<strong>4. *eyes you carefully* My love, I regret to inform you that should I set boot on merry old England's shores, those insufferable wool-coated navy men shall do their best to see me hung until death. Most unpleasant. Who is the hero of your story most like: me (savvy, debonair, and unquestionably smooth with the ladies), the insufferably honorable Will Turner, or that deceptive little minx Elizabeth?</strong><br />
<em><span style="color: purple;">Amelia can be smooth when she wants to be, but for most of the book, she's trying to be good. Even though she fails miserably at it, that counts you out of the running, I'm afraid! Ultimately, she decides that freedom is worth more than propriety, so I expect she and Elizabeth would mix nicely.</span></em><br />
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<strong>5. In that case, remind me never to kiss Amelia. I rather like the thought of remaining alive. Rum? Or more rum?</strong><br />
<em><span style="color: purple;">Jack, darling... spiced rum.</span></em><br />
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<strong>6. Darling, a good rum burns the esophagus and lights a fire in the lower intestines. Adding spice to the mix seems a tad pinch of overkill, but I do enjoy a woman with a sense of adventure! Which leads me to the age old question: Why is the rum always gone?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">The tiny green flag ninja hates partials. He finishes all the bottles off. It gives him purpose and meaning. And hangovers. That's why he's green.</span></em><br />
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<strong>7. I fail to comprehend how a tiny green <em>anything</em> is finishing off my rum. I'll run him through with my longsword if he doesn't bugger off. What’s the most piratish thing you’ve ever done?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Some friends and I tried to board a vessel that was not of our own belonging in Baltimore once, but that was just a misunderstanding. We stopped as soon as we understood that proceeding would be a felony. Or a maritime thingie of high bad.</span></em><br />
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<strong>8. Darling, darling, darling ... one does not <em>stop</em> when one is presumably caught red-handed. One simply changes courses and does the unexpected in order to still get one's hands on what one wants. Are they rules? Or more like guidelines?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Everything is a guideline. Actually, even guidelines are more suggestions. And suggestions are generally meant to be ignored.</span></em><br />
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<strong>9. Stop. You had me at suggestions. I understand you’re a story-teller. Any undead monkeys in your stories?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">No, but I did just write a story that contains three flaming witches, an earthenwork defiler, and a pair of palm-sized monkeys named Cursor and Celeris. Does that count?</span></em><br />
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<strong>10. Palm-sized monkeys? What is it with you and tiny little things of a deplorable nature? Any curses in your story? Heartless monsters? Irritating women who insist on taking matters into their own hands?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">All of the young women in my books take matters into their own hands. Surely a worldly gentleman such as yourself isn't threatened by bright girls with sharp minds. They wouldn't be interesting if they weren't thinking!</span></em><br />
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<strong>11. Depends on what they're thinking. One of my favorite words is “egregious.” Care to share one of yours, love?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Existential. There's a lot of tongue-play involved in the saying of it, and a lot of brain-teasing in the meaning of it. </span></em><br />
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<strong>12. I've had far too much rum this early in the day to participate in any sort of brain-teasing. The other option is still on the table, however. Parlay? Or draw your sword?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Bring the blades; I have a tiny green flag ninja as my second!</span></em><br />
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<strong>13. I begin to suspect YOU are the reason my rum is gone, and this tiny green flag ninja is the natural byproduct of your over-zealous rum consumption. You’ve got a crowd of cursed sailors and a nasty sea monster on your trail. How do you escape?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">With generous applications of aqua regia in my wake. Since it dissolves gold, I figure very few will pursue me once they realize their booty is in danger.</span></em><br />
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<strong>14. You are a brilliant little thing, aren't you? *surreptitiously checks own booty for evidence of dissolvitude* Romantic night in? Or adventure on the high seas?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">Why isn't romantic adventure on the high seas an option? We have all this rum...</span></em><br />
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<strong>15. I think we shall do nicely together, my love. *hides a few spare bottles of rum, just in case* My personal motto is: Take what you want, give nothing back. What’s yours?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: purple;">You're gonna get kicked in the face, but you have to keep going. Which I think is a motto you've probably already internalized, amirite?</span></em><br />
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<strong>Indubitably.</strong> <br />
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Thank you, Saundra, for such an entertaining interview! To learn more about Saundra, visit <a href="http://saundramitchell.com/">her site</a>. To purchase THE VESPERTINE (or any of her other books) <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vespertine-Saundra-Mitchell/dp/0547482477">go here</a>. Of course, the fun isn't over yet! Saundra is giving away a signed copy of THE VESPERTINE to one lucky commenter. (Giveaway is North America only) Here's how to enter: <br />
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<strong><span style="color: purple;">1. Earn entries: </span></strong><br />
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*Comment on this post = 1 entry<br />
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*Be a follower of this blog = 2 entries<br />
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*Tweet the link to this interview = 3 entries (Use @cjredwine or leave url to tweet in your comment so I can see it.)<br />
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*Post the contest on your blog or facebook= 3 entries (Include link in your comment.)<br />
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<strong><span style="color: purple;">2. Tally it up: </span></strong><br />
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Please tally up your entries and leave the total in your comment.<br />
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<strong><span style="color: purple;">3. Check back: </span></strong><br />
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The contest is open until 9 p.m. (central time) Monday, April 25th. Please check back to see if you've won and to claim your prize!<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><em><span style="color: purple;">Good luck to all, and happy reading! </span></em></div>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-6785200023331710212011-04-13T07:09:00.000-05:002011-04-13T07:09:23.599-05:00Interview GoodiesIt's Wednesday, and usually I have an author interview lined up today, but this is as off week. Which is sad, because you'll have to wait until NEXT week to see which of our three interviewers author Saundra Mitchell takes on, but allows me to discuss a few interesting details with you.<br />
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1. I was interviewed today over at <a href="http://tiny.cc/oisyr">Blame It On The Muse</a>. Feel free to go forth and comment!<br />
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2. I've decided to move the author interviews in a new direction. Starting soon, I will do an interview every other week and give that author two weeks of time on the blog. One week for the interview and signed book giveaway, and one for a Take Five list with the author and a giveaway of a one-of-a-kind piece of swag created just for the readers of this blog. This benefits everyone!<br />
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<ul><li>You get two weeks of exposure to awesome authors and their books instead of just one.</li>
<li>The one-of-a-kind swag being created especially for each author's book is a cool fan perk no one else is offering.</li>
<li>Each author gets to spend a little more time being accessible to their readers.</li>
<li>I free up some badly needed time now that my writing schedule is getting even more hectic. (Each author interview takes a couple of hours to pull together). </li>
</ul>I've already booked up the month of June using this format and HOLY COW, you don't want to miss it. Lilith Saintcrow will be giving away an <em><u>entire signed set of her Jill Kismet books</u></em> (adult paranormal) and I have a jewelry designer working on a one-of-a-kind necklace representing Jill. Then, Myra McEntire will be giving away a signed copy of her amazing debut novel HOURGLASS, and I'm having my jewelry designer make a steampunk hourglass necklace for one lucky reader. <br />
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I'm looking forward to trying this new format and offering my readers the excitement of accessible authors, awesome book giveaways, and truly unique swag pieces no other reader will ever own. For now, feel free to hop over and read my interview answers (wherein I give some of the best writing advice EVER. Pay attention to #10. That's all I'm saying.) and tune in next week for Saundra Mitchell's interview!C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-59155110777645890882011-04-12T09:12:00.000-05:002011-04-12T09:12:13.500-05:00Baby Update!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyl8jbIwjNNqijHcLWs-uT7WpgzNKtLzOtHKC9hFFRhVJYsV1_cUyj53jw4HSlf-TQRizQ7SW7xH93yOMZZFEdLl0bl9fHijzUf-7sKP_9k_LbJUeK0vKGuZwtT-n01I7wvkIBNiSAp8rg/s1600/johanna1yr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyl8jbIwjNNqijHcLWs-uT7WpgzNKtLzOtHKC9hFFRhVJYsV1_cUyj53jw4HSlf-TQRizQ7SW7xH93yOMZZFEdLl0bl9fHijzUf-7sKP_9k_LbJUeK0vKGuZwtT-n01I7wvkIBNiSAp8rg/s320/johanna1yr.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
I haven't posted any baby updates in a while, so I thought I'd take a minute to share. As you can see from the pic above (taken last week), she's a happy, healthy little girl. She adores her brothers, thinks dog food is a fabulous snack when she can sneak it, and walks everywhere now. She babbles often, and has assigned a few words to things, but even though she doesn't really talk yet, she can understand us and follow directions. Amazing, considering she's only been around the English language now for 5 months. <br />
<br />
Yesterday, when I walked in the door from work, she saw me, lit up with a huge smile, and toddled over to me as fast as her chubby little legs could carry her so she could wrap her arms around my knee. It was one of the best moments of my life.C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-277927152318093812011-04-11T11:34:00.000-05:002011-04-11T11:34:29.093-05:00Spawning! Smoke Screens! & Menopause!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9H2wWkhBbSShVnQPv4nb6LhKpwYJ_PmGPVMkoyprs902L44OeUtDdqiu75bO-ePUBg9fwIYnPTtmASFhq_YgExuTO7pphTEWiXN9wr7vIxj5qREFyjedTtn1F8eXUeKXqI3ydIja632Ca/s1600/999999-98-1_300x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9H2wWkhBbSShVnQPv4nb6LhKpwYJ_PmGPVMkoyprs902L44OeUtDdqiu75bO-ePUBg9fwIYnPTtmASFhq_YgExuTO7pphTEWiXN9wr7vIxj5qREFyjedTtn1F8eXUeKXqI3ydIja632Ca/s1600/999999-98-1_300x300.jpg" /></a></div>1. Sadly, the shoe pictured above? Totally real. For sale. Touted as one of the haute styles of the season.<br />
<br />
2. Consider me out of fashion, then, because I wouldn't wear those things unless you paid me good money to do so. <br />
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3. I might, however wear these:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYHxckqHWKEc1fIZo4khJSqcGJGAdhmJWlYZaQXjle4pxEzeAMZQE9PG-tNpyuKUUwCWWIivEcx730q-1aBh2p2NicrMfYKFox_t8dZyi0xOAnnIEgk9rl4N8TqOT1jbyHKSQvZc1qnRs7/s1600/129190478642711987.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="294" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYHxckqHWKEc1fIZo4khJSqcGJGAdhmJWlYZaQXjle4pxEzeAMZQE9PG-tNpyuKUUwCWWIivEcx730q-1aBh2p2NicrMfYKFox_t8dZyi0xOAnnIEgk9rl4N8TqOT1jbyHKSQvZc1qnRs7/s320/129190478642711987.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
4. Okay, no. I wouldn't. But I would totally admire anyone who did.<br />
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5. Enough about shoes! On to today's list.<br />
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6. The other night, Starshine and Princess J were playing in the living room.<br />
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7. Princess J thought they were playing chase. Starshine thought they were playing James Bond.<br />
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8. Princess J was closing in when Starshine shouted, "Behold, my smoke screen!", turned his back, and farted.<br />
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9. Princess J was undeterred by either his smoke screen or his bodily functions, but he did manage to make me leave the room.<br />
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10. A few nights after that, Clint and I were sitting in the living room talking when Starshine ran by us screaming "I'm spawning! I'm spawning!"<br />
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11. We looked at each other and said, "Dear God, I hope not."<br />
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12. I thought I had a decent transition from that story to this, but alas, it fell apart on me.<br />
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13. My hubby has a death wish.<br />
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14. No, he hasn't been making friends with Beth Revis. He learned his lesson by watching me.<br />
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15. Is he playing in traffic? Consorting with unsavory types at odd hours of the night? Eating the cafeteria's mystery meat?<br />
<br />
16. Worse. Much worse.<br />
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17. The other day, I'd had 3 hours of sleep the night before and that always makes me feel sluggish and kind of sick. I happened to mention to Clint that I kept feeling overheated and ugh.<br />
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18. And my loving, intelligent hubby looked across at me and said these fateful words:<br />
<br />
19. "Maybe it's menopause."<br />
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20. My voice sounded sort of like a bullmoose on crack as I bellowed <strong><em>"WHAT?!!?!"</em></strong><br />
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21. He tried to make things better by saying "You know, because of your age. It's not a bad thing."<br />
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22. I am 37. I am NOT in menopause. How do I know? Because he's still breathing.<br />
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23. I think we all know I have a rather sensitive gag reflex. There was the time I gagged because the eye doctor rolled my eyelid up with a stick. And the well-known fact that if I smell the nastiness that is green beans, I gag on that as well.<br />
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24. I can't tell you how many times my co-workers have shoved green beans in my direction so they could have their first laugh of the day. (Green beans are one of my restaurant's specialties)<br />
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25. And while I can handle stories of blood, guts, and gore with aplomb, I do not deal well with stories that involve creepy crawlies going into one's mouth.<br />
<br />
26. *pause for gagging*<br />
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27. So when a co-worker told me a story the other day about eating termites, I gagged. <br />
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28. And then, I asked the obvious: WHY?<br />
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29. I mean, I get it if you're Survivorman and that's your only option. But he lives in Nashville. Where there are grocery stores. With sources of protein that don't include bugs.<br />
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30. He told me it was because his father-in-law didn't think he'd do it, so he ate them to spite him.<br />
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31. I asked the next obvious question: Are you sure YOU eating TERMITES actually caused your father-in-law the sort of grief you hoped to accomplish?<br />
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32. Because it seems to me the person eating the bugs got the short end of the stick no matter which way you look at it. <br />
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33. Speaking of bugs, we all know I'm afraid of moths. (I know, I know... weird.)<br />
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34. Butterflies are moths. They ARE. They might be beautiful and colorful, but they have the same grotesque elongated bug body and fluttering wings. <br />
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35. So the other day when I was sitting in one of the manager's offices making a phone call, and she plucked a beautiful butterfly magnet from her stash of "Things To Torture C.J." and put it right in front of my nose, I nearly screamed.<br />
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36. It wasn't a magnet that looked like an artist's interpretation of a butterfly.<br />
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37. It was a magnet that looked like a real butterfly somehow got a magnet stuck to its belly. <br />
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38. I shot across the room and waved my manager away from me. In silence, of course, because I was on the phone. <br />
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39. She frowned and said, "But it's a butterfly."<br />
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40. Like that would somehow make me like it more.<br />
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41. When she realized I truly did not find joy in the freaky little thing, she put it away.<br />
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42. *sigh*<br />
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43. I realize I'm very strange.<br />
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44. In fact, I freely admit it.<br />
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45. I am not, however, in menopause. <br />
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46. Tune in on Wednesday to learn about some exciting changes to the author interviews! And keep a weather eye on the blog this week because, believe it or not, I nearly died. Again. Because of my nose.C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-6112695113183917582011-04-10T22:26:00.000-05:002011-04-10T22:26:51.765-05:00Winner of THE LOST SAINT<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiznXFqpqB3o8RyPc4RecHGZ17EppFU7M1oFpRkhmnU2TXgXctdZMZsUMhKNjoOVCtYfP0lPbD7-Pbwfpi7msLUEc94gNHKsuJblpXhuy5cat06ijGWsLb9UK2VCzlIo4WA_DgVnqv8t9bQ/s1600/TLScover_HighRes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiznXFqpqB3o8RyPc4RecHGZ17EppFU7M1oFpRkhmnU2TXgXctdZMZsUMhKNjoOVCtYfP0lPbD7-Pbwfpi7msLUEc94gNHKsuJblpXhuy5cat06ijGWsLb9UK2VCzlIo4WA_DgVnqv8t9bQ/s320/TLScover_HighRes.jpg" width="211" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Thank you to all who entered the contest to win a signed copy of Bree Despain's THE LOST SAINT. If you didn't win this time, be sure to snag your own copy next time you're browsing a bookstore. You won't regret reading this series! As always, I used random.org to generate the winner. And the winner is</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong><em><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">Zara</span></em></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Congratulations, Zara! Please send me your mailing info (my email is on my About page) and I'll forward it on to Bree. Thanks again for entering and happy reading!</div>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-15394996328485243372011-04-06T09:50:00.001-05:002011-04-10T20:15:45.621-05:00Interview With Bree Despain<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn77gjVOZfLkPEpgJMv17gAeyaFDR6M9gcwoVh-B0x5Os8jEXEjK9wA1kkZO7UAC1Hf0toaLrQKwRhvlav9aOLhyphenhyphenYWCQE3b_mCPWRddjtabXB_ErCET4GwHvXQZGScrXOfg4wPfeOPcKsW/s1600/TLScover_HighRes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn77gjVOZfLkPEpgJMv17gAeyaFDR6M9gcwoVh-B0x5Os8jEXEjK9wA1kkZO7UAC1Hf0toaLrQKwRhvlav9aOLhyphenhyphenYWCQE3b_mCPWRddjtabXB_ErCET4GwHvXQZGScrXOfg4wPfeOPcKsW/s320/TLScover_HighRes.jpg" width="211" /></a></div><br />
It's no secret I'm a huge fangirl of Bree's. THE DARK DIVINE made my <a href="http://cjredwine.blogspot.com/2011/02/best-reads-of-2010.html">list of best books I read last year</a>, and Bree was one of the first to <a href="http://cjredwine.blogspot.com/2010/02/interview-with-bree-despain-author-of.html">take on the Were-llama</a>. (Brave girl) I tried to win a copy of THE LOST SAINT on her blog by guessing the correct title given only the letters TLS. It should be noted that while I (among several others) guessed the right title, my best guess was TRY LACTATING SIMULTANEOUSLY. I don't understand why Bree didn't immediately suggest a title change with her publisher. I know I'd pick that up off the YA shelves. <br />
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Anyway, I didn't win a copy, and was planning to buy my own when the book hit the shelves, but my sister (who is also a devoted Bree fangirl) sent me the book for my birthday. I devoured it in one sitting. It had all the elements I loved from the first book--complex characters, lyrical prose, and tension constantly coiling tighter and tighter until you wouldn't even dream of shutting the book before you reach the last page. But this book? Oh, THIS BOOK. I won't give away any spoilers, but the thing that happens on the last page? I was yelling at the book. Yes. And then I took to the Internet to yell at Bree and demand the sequel. Which she is writing now. I wonder if she needs a beta reader? *schemes*<br />
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Here's a peek at THE LOST SAINT: (Warning: Spoilers for THE DARK DIVINE included.)<br />
<br />
<blockquote><em><strong>A family destroyed</strong></em><br />
<em></em><br />
<br />
<strong><em>A love threatened</em><em> </em></strong></blockquote><div><blockquote><strong>An enemy returns . . .</strong></blockquote></div><blockquote><em>Grace Divine made the ultimate sacrifice to cure Daniel Kalbi. She was infected with the werewolf curse while trying to save him, and lost her beloved brother in the process. When Grace receives a haunting phone call from Jude, she knows what she must do. She must become a Hound of Heaven.</em><br />
<br />
<em>Desperate to find Jude, Grace befriends Talbot—a newcomer to town who promises her that he can help her be a hero. But as the two grow closer, the wolf grows in Grace, and her relationship with Daniel is put in danger—in more ways than one.</em><br />
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<em>Unaware of the dark path she is walking, Grace begins to give into the wolf inside of her—not realizing that an enemy has returned and a deadly trap is about to be sprung.</em></blockquote><br />
I was thrilled to invite Bree back to the blog. This time, she decided to put the Spork of Doom in his place. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHqNjThKifkeF3Scwa7_1DGXaWSaGK2Hml-OPgZx8zCGg3cdE9c94EHOciNexguSz2cUnn1bLHCWmfZihzk5Rmpyghd8N-7v5sjhjp9P7gJa6b365O3ir6APo4XuSRAPV153y5z_2LwdSz/s1600/titanium+spork.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHqNjThKifkeF3Scwa7_1DGXaWSaGK2Hml-OPgZx8zCGg3cdE9c94EHOciNexguSz2cUnn1bLHCWmfZihzk5Rmpyghd8N-7v5sjhjp9P7gJa6b365O3ir6APo4XuSRAPV153y5z_2LwdSz/s320/titanium+spork.jpg" width="171" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spork of Doom</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMVfjCEOjhvaO-LNBp2OZqe6OstoJPSxxCDNqrE_mKBpuWe59JXj6LSz4w8j3FWxxW-1cibo999or8DB_PZZhOcpQAfsTbYL0eqHbXEvcud9gCHanKLG2gyi8h3ocSh1uWNX7zxj5gzwrA/s1600/Bree_Despain_HighRes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMVfjCEOjhvaO-LNBp2OZqe6OstoJPSxxCDNqrE_mKBpuWe59JXj6LSz4w8j3FWxxW-1cibo999or8DB_PZZhOcpQAfsTbYL0eqHbXEvcud9gCHanKLG2gyi8h3ocSh1uWNX7zxj5gzwrA/s320/Bree_Despain_HighRes.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bree Despain</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Before we get to the interview, it's time to reveal the cupcake my hubby made for Bree. Because this is a big deal in THE LOST SAINT, Bree and I agreed a white wolf's head would make the perfect cupcake. My hubby complied, but would like to post the following disclaimer with this week's cupcake. <br />
<blockquote>"The following cupcake is supposed to be a wolf's head. It is not a panda bear's head. It is not a dog's head. It is, however, the best the artist could do given that he had the flu but loved his wife enough to still drag his sorry carcass into the kitchen and spend two hours slaving over a non-panda, non-dog white wolf's head. If any reader takes exception to the quality, he begs of them to remember that he had THE FLU. And if any reader still takes exception, he politely invites them to make their own life-like cake sculpture, and he'll even more politely tell them where they can stick it." </blockquote><br />
Without further ado, I give you the white wolf's head cupcake and the interview with Bree and the Spork of Doom.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCqkJBwo_XerZHnYsd3DKdL9uaPcGqJrQB15h52mui9PX_8gnrCWe36_bzCtI-jhpqnHtWGTp6G8gJdmKLp0fDRwxBuHlBDSowNAT5izR7T0_i7U0r7D4nPVbCWszdJi7Er9bvS6EkBnSJ/s1600/wolf+cupcake.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCqkJBwo_XerZHnYsd3DKdL9uaPcGqJrQB15h52mui9PX_8gnrCWe36_bzCtI-jhpqnHtWGTp6G8gJdmKLp0fDRwxBuHlBDSowNAT5izR7T0_i7U0r7D4nPVbCWszdJi7Er9bvS6EkBnSJ/s320/wolf+cupcake.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
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<strong>1. I’m all about world domination, and I’m always looking for good help. Why would you be an acceptable minion in my quest?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: #0b5394;">I don’t do the minion thing. I’m far too bossy and stubborn. But I am in the market for worthy nemesis. Are you game?</span></em><br />
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<strong>2. *Checks out shiny, three-tined appearance in the mirror* Bring it, you non-tined <em>fool</em>. Being a Spork of Doom takes moxie. What’s the sporkiest thing you’ve ever done?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: #0b5394;">When I was a lot younger, I (pretty much on a whim) took a semester off college and flew across the country by myself to take a job writing and directing plays for at-risk, inner-city kids from Philadelphia and New York. I didn’t know anyone there, and the teens I was working with came from very different places than where I’d grown up. I was scared half to death when I got there, but it turned out to be an awesome experience that changed my life forever.</span></em><br />
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<strong>3. What a coincidence. I am also an awesome experience that will change your life forever. When I’m not busy taking over the world, I like to eat pie. What kind of pie do you think is worthy of my Spork of Doom status?</strong><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><em>A Hostess brand cherry pie. Preferably eaten straight off the road after it’s been run over by a car outside a cemetery. I highly recommend it. It’s my favorite way to eat pie. </em></span><br />
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<strong>4. I don't know whether to be insulted or intrigued. It would be very sporky and doomy to eat pie straight off the road outside a cemetery. Then again, you might just be trying to fool me into eating roadkill, and IT WON'T WORK. Unless, of course, the roadkill happens to be <em>you</em>. What’s your favorite thing to do with a spork?</strong><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><em>Eat Kentucky Fried Chicken</em></span><br />
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<strong>5. An entire world to conquer, and you use the blessed tines on <em>chicken</em>? *shakes head* And here I thought you might be a worthy nemesis. I have the ability to be simultaneously spoon, fork, and weapon of mass destruction. What unique ability do you have?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: #0b5394;">I can beat just about anyone in a burping contest. I live in a house full of boys. They live in awe of my special talent.</span></em><br />
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<strong>6. Ha! I have minions who do my burping for me. In this day and age, a savvy spork bent on world domination can’t afford to ignore a good marketing campaign. I’m thinking t-shirts with “Spork or Die.” If you made a shirt with your own slogan on it, what would it say?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: #0b5394;">“First Love Bites”</span></em><br />
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<strong>7. Was your first love cherry-flavored and run over outside a cemetery? If I had to compare myself to anyone in history, I’d have to say I’m most like Napoleon. Only skinnier. And shinier. And smart enough not to lose my empire at a place with a ridiculous name like Waterloo. Who are you most like and why?</strong><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><em>I don’t know who I’m most like, but I can tell you who I’d most like to be like: Audrey Hepburn. Not only was she beautiful, smart, and talented, but she also dedicated many years of her life to UNICEF. And when she was a young girl, she carried secret messages for the underground resistance against the Nazis in her ballet shoes.</em></span><br />
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<strong>8. Little known fact: Audrey Hepburn was secretly a spork. It explains the moxie. Why is your job just as much fun as world domination?</strong><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><em>I get to wear yoga pants all day long, eat cinnamon bears and chocolate for lunch, and watching shows like Vampire Diaries, Friday Night Lights, and Buffy The Vampire Slayer are considered “research.” It’s quite awesome. </em></span><br />
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<strong>9. I bet you bite the cinnamon bears' heads off first, don't you? Me? I spork them right through the middle. In between conquests, I like to read a good story. What can you recommend and why?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: #0b5394;">I’m currently reading HOURGLASS by Myra McEntire (comes out this June) and really loving it. The main character has a lot of moxie and the guy is pretty darn delicious. </span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><em>I am also super excited for BACK WHEN YOU WERE EASIER TO LOVE by Emily Wing Smith (releases this April 28th) This book is so beautifully written and also a lot of fun to read. It’s about a girl who is so obsessed with her ex-boyfriend that she goes on a road trip from Utah to California (with a wacky side trip to Vegas) in order to find him—with her ex-boyfriend’s obnoxious best friend along for the ride.</em></span><br />
<br />
<strong>10. I've also read HOURGLASS and found it to be worthy of my spectacular spork status. I suspect the main character is secretly a spork herself. You need to accomplish a secret, night-time mission as my minion. Cloak? No cloak? Why?</strong><br />
<br />
<em><span style="color: #0b5394;">I am not your minion. But I wouldn’t mind having my own cloak of invisibility for days I have no desire to do my hair before leaving the house.</span></em><br />
<br />
<strong>11. Warning: A cloak of invisibility is useless against me. I will still KNOW what your bed-head looks like. And THEN you will be my minion to keep me quiet. My best piece of advice to others is this: “Fear the spork!” What’s your best advice?</strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><em>I always say this, but it’s pretty much my mantra:</em></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><br />
<em></em></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><em>“Great books aren't written, they’re revised!”</em></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">Thank you, Bree, for such an entertaining interview! To learn more about Bree, go to <a href="http://www.breedespain.com/">her site</a>. To purchase her books, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_sq_top?ie=UTF8&keywords=bree%20despain&index=blended&pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1606840576&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1EQ524HV4YYC3A7ST64Q">go here</a>. Of course, the fun isn't over yet! Bree has graciously offered to give away a signed copy of THE LOST SAINT to one luck commenter. (Contest is open to North America)</span><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #0b5394;">1. Earn entries: </span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
*Comment on this post = 1 entry<br />
<br />
*Be a follower of this blog = 2 entries<br />
<br />
*Tweet the link to this interview = 3 entries (Use @cjredwine or leave url to tweet in your comment so I can see it.)<br />
<br />
*Post the contest on your blog or facebook= 3 entries (Include link in your comment.)<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #0b5394;">2. Tally it up: </span></strong><br />
<br />
Please tally up your entries and leave the total in your comment.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #0b5394;">3. Check back: </span></strong><br />
<br />
The contest is open until 9 p.m. (central time) Sunday, April 10th. Please check back to see if you've won and to claim your prize!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><em>Good luck to all, and happy reading! </em></span></div>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-23595568936508755622011-04-06T00:23:00.000-05:002011-04-06T00:23:06.968-05:00Fancy TerribleMy new favorite quote:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><em>"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it." </em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">-Dorothy Parker</div>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-89050962096627627032011-04-05T11:29:00.000-05:002011-04-05T11:29:04.492-05:00Will It Ruin You?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQCbv2N34Ov2bWv9xD9uze5nLwPWO2jmpB0LOLOALu80WUZBOIt2zME-7Lvot3JRQaNAmOuA76u1ZfGZaQ5UPeu9eHy5nwA0OCMWZUvG5Hr6T0q2fDqWhmxHMVqZFaKP9ZSP3iOHm0oabf/s1600/Stained_Glass_Sky_ashx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQCbv2N34Ov2bWv9xD9uze5nLwPWO2jmpB0LOLOALu80WUZBOIt2zME-7Lvot3JRQaNAmOuA76u1ZfGZaQ5UPeu9eHy5nwA0OCMWZUvG5Hr6T0q2fDqWhmxHMVqZFaKP9ZSP3iOHm0oabf/s320/Stained_Glass_Sky_ashx.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
I've been thinking lately about the nature of art. What it takes to create. What it takes to create something huge. Something that silences everything else inside of you for one perfect moment. Something that comes close to what you originally wanted to write. Sculpt. Paint. Sing. Dance. <br />
<br />
The vision is there. Maybe it's cloudy at first. Maybe elusive, but you can feel the weight of it pressing against your soul. Scraping against your thoughts at the most inconvenient times. Begging to be seen. Heard. Felt.<br />
<br />
And so you put pen to paper. Brush to canvas. Hand to clay. And you create. <br />
<br />
What you create doesn't quite match your vision. Not at first. It looks like a pale copy, smudged and blurry at the edges, and you push harder. You dig deeper. You seek to find this vision's unique path from where it formed inside of you to where it can live and breathe on its own. <br />
<br />
But when you push harder, when you dig deeper, you come up against dissent. Disapproval. Misunderstanding. Rules. The fear that if you remain true to your vision, if you really pull every last twisted, broken, beautiful piece of it out of yourself and set it free, it might come to ruin.<br />
<br />
<em>You </em>might come to ruin.<br />
<br />
Someone will wonder how the nice girl they've known for years could possibly write that. Sing that. Paint that. Someone else will wonder if there's something wrong with you. Someone will speculate you just don't measure up. Another will whisper that it isn't <em>real</em> art. And you're a fool for pretending it is.<br />
<br />
Are you?<br />
<br />
Or have you learned what every artist must eventually discover for herself? <br />
<br />
If it doesn't hurt, if it doesn't scrape you raw, if it doesn't make something in you bleed, if your honesty doesn't scare the sleep from your eyes, if the truth you deliver in all of its messy authenticity doesn't breathe down the back of your neck, then you may need to push harder. Dig deeper. Stand in the mess, in the beauty, in the singular heart-break and hope that is <em>your </em>vision and stop listening to those who say it isn't. It doesn't. It shouldn't. It can't. <br />
<br />
Because it is. It does. You should. You can.<br />
<br />
You <em>can</em>.C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-39010237484265951902011-04-04T08:19:00.002-05:002011-04-04T08:53:05.207-05:00Beth Revis Tried to Kill Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoLlo3CUm6R6dbokrwW2ow6oIP1Gl1KxdYjY6vfiel8G80_co4SJZd91yJ6yi6hB9kinsMtZFS8ZHylLA4V4OaVVmLcyIqYqv4OfIre95tIfbALjuJZbmGQ-L4z65go6qfetY9xLmhBpVz/s1600/cat+sees+soon+to+be+dead+people.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoLlo3CUm6R6dbokrwW2ow6oIP1Gl1KxdYjY6vfiel8G80_co4SJZd91yJ6yi6hB9kinsMtZFS8ZHylLA4V4OaVVmLcyIqYqv4OfIre95tIfbALjuJZbmGQ-L4z65go6qfetY9xLmhBpVz/s320/cat+sees+soon+to+be+dead+people.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1. The above picture was originally going to be in honor of Beth Revis (explanation coming), but now it's for Blogger as well.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">2. Thank you SO MUCH, Blogger, thou unholy fiend, for losing the post I'd typed up for today, thus forcing me to perform any number of difficult mental gymnastics in a losing effort to remember everything I'd typed.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">3. It was a fabulous post.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">4. Really.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">5. But you'll never know that, will you? Because Blogger got hungry and my post looked like a tasty snack.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">6. *wonders if Blogger is really a zombie*</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">7. I can't recall all the hilarious little anecdotes I shared (It's been a few days. Don't judge me.), but I can assure you it was a blog post that would rank right up there with such fabulous literary works as Chicken Soup for the Idiot's Soul or the classic Green Eggs & Ham.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">8. They don't actually publish a Chicken Soup for the Idiot's Soul, but I think that's a mistake. Look how well the __Fill in the blank__ for Dummies is going! Those Chicken Soup folks are missing a (from my personal observations) rather large demographic. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">9. Anyway, I can't remember the entertaining little anecdotes that littered my blogging masterpiece, but I can remember this: Beth Revis, author of ACROSS THE UNIVERSE, tried to kill me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">10. She was sneaky about it too. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">11. She disguised her attack as a friendly email full of lovely support and shining promises of opening the secret inner sanctum to a secret few writers know.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">12. I was sucked in!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">13. I read through the email, wondering what deep, juicy, life-changing secret she was about to share with me ...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">14. She did an excellent job of stringing me along, building up the hype, making me WANT TO KNOW...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">15. And then she shared the secret.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi49Hcz5V_CmXCBpS5WQ0YKfpJaMssu872Fhyphenhyphen2trxI2J0tMk_xiXYVPOMdP-7LMYib1EJKpcgc6-4LtTTqtuEUWyOKFeRRv_ty9RAQNGsUMmzaIhKw1Oj6lI0WBRyYcJzdG_wKzeoVlooq6/s1600/nutella.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi49Hcz5V_CmXCBpS5WQ0YKfpJaMssu872Fhyphenhyphen2trxI2J0tMk_xiXYVPOMdP-7LMYib1EJKpcgc6-4LtTTqtuEUWyOKFeRRv_ty9RAQNGsUMmzaIhKw1Oj6lI0WBRyYcJzdG_wKzeoVlooq6/s320/nutella.jpg" width="245" /></a></div><br />
16. It involved Nutella. And some coffee. But that's not the important part of this story.<br />
<br />
17. The important part is this: She took me by surprise, and I half-laughed, half-snerked.<br />
<br />
18. It was the snerk that proved to be my undoing.<br />
<br />
19. A proper snerk is all about shooting air through one's nostrils like mini oxygenated torpedoes.<br />
<br />
20. I do a mean snerk.<br />
<br />
21. Sadly, this particular snerk had two overwhelming problems.<br />
<br />
22. One, I was in public.<br />
<br />
23. Two, I was chewing a fresh piece of Trident cinnamon gum. <br />
<br />
24. Cinnamon gum, as I'm sure you're aware, does <em>not </em>shoot through one's nostrils like a mini oxygenated torpedo.<br />
<br />
25. It does, however, lodge firmly in the nasal cavities and threaten to cause imminent, immediate, and yes, even instant cinnamon-scented DEATH.<br />
<br />
26. Anyone know the universal signal for "Help! Beth Revis caused me to snerk cinnamon gum up my nose and now I can't dislodge it without an act of God?"<br />
<br />
27. Neither do I.<br />
<br />
28. And you know what is true about fresh cinnamon gum?<br />
<br />
29. It burns the tender tissues inside one's nose.<br />
<br />
30. So, I had a lot of motivation to get it out.<br />
<br />
31. I had nostrils to save. Air to breathe.<br />
<br />
32. A best-selling author to kill.<br />
<br />
33. I was sitting at my corner table in Books A Million writing. I began contorting my face into expressions designed to scare young children and drop old ladies where they stand.<br />
<br />
34. I tried using air to force the gum to complete its journey through my nose.<br />
<br />
35. This was a mistake.<br />
<br />
36. Now, I was a woman contorting her face, wheezing pathetic amounts of air through her obstructed nostrils, catching the full attention of the barista (who apparently doesn't recognize a gum-arrested snerk when she sees one because she did NOTHING but stare like maybe I was the next Charlie Sheen), and realizing I might need professional help to get myself right again.<br />
<br />
37. I could see it. Paramedics called to the scene. Everyone scrambling around for a pair of extra long tweezers. Someone filming it on their iPhone. Another commenting that whatever cinnamon air freshener the bookstore was using smelled quite nice. And everyone wondering why the dying woman on the coffee shop floor kept muttering "Beth Revis" with what little air she had left.<br />
<br />
38. I finally scrunched up my face at just the right angle, gathered air like a ninja, and shot that cinnamon-scented projectile right down the back of my throat where, if my grandmother is to be believed, it will reside in my stomach for the next year.<br />
<br />
39. Which is fine.<br />
<br />
40. It might take me that long to craft the perfect revenge for Beth Revis. Don't worry, Beth. It's coming. And it will smell just as lovely as your initial shot across the bow did for me. <br />
<br />
41. I drew my first real breath and <em>that</em> is apparently the universal signal for "Check on the crazy woman in the corner because she might actually die on you" because the barista came over and asked if I was okay.<br />
<br />
42. No, I was not okay. I'd nearly had to have a pair of extra-long tweezers stuck up my nose while some stranger made a viral video of me and all because I read an email from Beth Revis.<br />
<br />
43. I smelled cinnamon every time I breathed for the next two hours.<br />
<br />
44. I recovered my equilibrium and focused on finishing my manuscript. I'm able to completely shut out everyone around me in the bookstore by using my headphones, my playlist, and a single-minded attention on what is going on in my character's heads. So, it was with a great deal of surprise that I looked up to see the barista in front of me an hour later offering me a sample of cheesecake.<br />
<br />
45. But it was nice of her, so I accepted. <br />
<br />
46. And then got right back to writing.<br />
<br />
47. I was nearing the climax of the book. Stuff was <em>happening</em>. Some of it was beautiful, heart-wrenching, and I'd known it was coming for weeks now and was so moved to finally get there with my characters that as they cried, I joined in.<br />
<br />
48. Not giant, WHAT IS THAT CRAZY WOMAN DOING NOW? sobs, of course. Just a few tears as I opened a vein and let it bleed across the page.<br />
<br />
49. Next thing I know, I'm being offered more cheesecake.<br />
<br />
50. I mean, I know it was pretty deserted in the book store at that point (I'd been there for hours and it was getting close to closing time), but really?<br />
<br />
51. I finished the scene, wiped my eyes, got up to stretch my legs, used the restroom, bought a coffee, and stared in complete confusion as the barista offered me yet another sample of cheesecake.<br />
<br />
52. "I'm fine," I said.<br />
<br />
53. "But dear, cheesecake makes everything better," she said.<br />
<br />
54. And because she seemed to really need to give it to me, I accepted.<br />
<br />
55. Moments later, I packed up, went home, walked in and caught sight of myself in the mirror. (Keep in mind that YES I'd used the restroom at the book store and YES they have a mirror, but I was so focused on being inside my characters' heads, I hadn't bothered to process what I was seeing.).<br />
<br />
56. I need to back up this story to the point in the evening where I rushed out of work determined to get to the bookstore as fast as possible so I could finish my book on time.<br />
<br />
57. If you're in a hurry, do you grab your change of clothes and go back inside your place of business so you can be stopped by every employee who now wonders what you're doing back in the building so soon just so you can use the restroom to change out of your uniform? <br />
<br />
58. Okay, maybe <em>you</em> would. But I wouldn't. I have tinted windows in the back of my Explorer and was deliberately parked in the back, far away from other vehicles. <br />
<br />
59. I changed clothes in the cramped backseat of the Explorer. <br />
<br />
60. Fast.<br />
<br />
61. Because the story was burning inside me and needed <em>out</em>.<br />
<br />
62. Now, hours later, I'm staring at myself in the mirror and realizing all those offers for cheesecake? Were because I look like a <em><strong>homeless person</strong></em>.<br />
<br />
63. My hair was a little wild, no doubt from the cinnamon-scented choking fit I had courtesy of Beth Revis. My eyes were tear-stained. Any semblance of make-up gave up and fled for easier subjects long ago.<br />
<br />
64. But the worst? Oh, the worst was the fact that my sweater was buttoned all wrong.<br />
<br />
65. <em>Wrong</em>.<br />
<br />
66. Wrong as in the bottom button was in the top button hole.<br />
<br />
67. And every subsequent button in between was pigeon-holed wherever I apparently felt there was an appropriate place to stick it.<br />
<br />
68. I'm thankful I had a shirt on underneath it or I might have had that choking fit in the back of a police car.<br />
<br />
69. I was a wildly disheveled mess who looked like she couldn't even dress herself. <br />
<br />
70. No wonder the barista waited until it was obvious I was going to live before approaching me.<br />
<br />
71. I wouldn't have wanted to give me mouth to mouth either.<br />
<br />
72. I suppose I should blame my own foolishness for the sweater.<br />
<br />
73. And my connection to my characters for the tears and lack of make-up.<br />
<br />
74. But I'm not.<br />
<br />
75. I'm blaming the entire thing on Beth Revis.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-22769570603364020452011-04-03T21:01:00.000-05:002011-04-03T21:01:15.242-05:00Winner of MY SOUL TO STEAL<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZJOnuu6Zl1R6h6Qu1qjNLtMJW53Jj6XcPyLPbgljZleIjZcIGH4QWPPzHH12FkpmzVB1aERG63AyvgxwWXLHAqynz8qFnx1G5lsIVRr4Kbok_KMcIf0LtGu_Vo29SNTZCMPi4LbAAVMXA/s1600/MSTSteal+front+hi+res.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZJOnuu6Zl1R6h6Qu1qjNLtMJW53Jj6XcPyLPbgljZleIjZcIGH4QWPPzHH12FkpmzVB1aERG63AyvgxwWXLHAqynz8qFnx1G5lsIVRr4Kbok_KMcIf0LtGu_Vo29SNTZCMPi4LbAAVMXA/s320/MSTSteal+front+hi+res.jpg" width="202" /></a></div><br />
Thank you to all who entered the drawing for a signed copy of Rachel Vincent's MY SOUL TO STEAL. As always, I used random.org to choose the winner. And the winner is:<br />
<br />
<div align="center"><em><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Kitty</span></em></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;">Congratulations! Please email me your mailing info, and I'll foward it on to Rachel. Thanks again for entering and happy reading!</span></div>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-27127692879676299982011-03-30T10:57:00.000-05:002011-03-30T10:57:45.281-05:00Interview With Rachel Vincent<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2-4oQn-yX3QtVx2GcfjUfcCbtqB-8hvbiqLUfnsQkOh7vhgg9F-e4-Q5Hb-CEPhRj-fsw8_YhkEU11_WkO2yRh8TyaHZccrMu9_NvvwB_gR0YA6MiQSGASbiqM1bY931hpqPUkG_MAxpW/s1600/MSTSteal+front+hi+res.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2-4oQn-yX3QtVx2GcfjUfcCbtqB-8hvbiqLUfnsQkOh7vhgg9F-e4-Q5Hb-CEPhRj-fsw8_YhkEU11_WkO2yRh8TyaHZccrMu9_NvvwB_gR0YA6MiQSGASbiqM1bY931hpqPUkG_MAxpW/s320/MSTSteal+front+hi+res.jpg" width="202" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
I've been a fan of Rachel's writing since I picked up STRAY, the first in her adult were-cat series. I was immediately immersed in the culture of the werecats, identified with the characters, and couldn't put the book down because I had to KNOW what happened next. When Rachel started writing YA as well, I couldn't wait to try her series. It has everything I love about Rachel's writing; vivid world-building, action-packed suspense, and fiesty characters I want to know (or want to kill ... all depending). Here's a peek at her recent YA release, MY SOUL TO STEAL.<br />
<br />
<blockquote><em><span style="color: cyan;"><strong>YOU WANT MY SOUL AND MY BOYFRIEND?</strong></span></em></blockquote><div><blockquote><em>Trying to work things out with Nash—her maybe boyfriend—is hard enough for Kaylee Cavanaugh. She can’t just pretend nothing happened. But “complicated” doesn’t even begin to describe their relationship when his ex-girlfriend transfers to their school, determined to take Nash back. </em></blockquote></div><blockquote><em> </em><em>See, Sabine isn’t just an ordinary girl. She’s a mara, the living personification of a nightmare. She can read people’s fears—and craft them into nightmares while her victims sleep. Feeding from human fear is how she survives. </em><br />
<br />
<em>And Sabine isn’t above scaring Kaylee and the entire school to death to get whatever—and whoever—she wants. </em><br />
<br />
<em><strong><span style="color: cyan;">I DON'T THINK SO.</span></strong></em></blockquote>When I asked Rachel to be interviewed on the blog, she chose the Spork of Doom. I believe the Spork may have finally met his match! <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spork of Doom</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rachel Vincent</td></tr>
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Before we get to today's interview, it's time to reveal the amazing cupcake my hubby made for Rachel. (He would like Rachel to know he had to look up the word variegated before he could completely understand what kind of leaves she was talking about and that because of her extensive vocabulary, he spent much of his time cursing all writers in general.) Because one of the characters in MY SOUL TO STEAL feeds on people's fear and crafts nightmares for a living, my hubby decided to make a nightmare cupcake (complete with the curse-worthy variegated vines Rachel mentioned played a big role in the book). Without further ado, I give you the nightmare cupcake and Rachel vs. the Spork of Doom. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nightmare Cupcake with VARIEGATED leaves<br />
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</tbody></table><strong>1. I’m all about world domination, and I’m always looking for good help. Why would you be an acceptable minion in my quest?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">I wouldn’t. I’m no one’s minion.</span></em><br />
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<strong>2. *gives you doomy glare of DOOM* That's what they all say. At first. Being a Spork of Doom takes moxie. What’s the sporkiest thing you’ve ever done?</strong><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><em>This interview. </em></span><br />
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<strong>3. When I’m not busy taking over the world, I like to eat pie. What kind of pie do you think is worthy of my Spork of Doom status?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">I make a mean homemade deep dish caramel apple pie. But I don’t think you could handle it. That’s a lot of pie.</span></em> <br />
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<strong>4. You DARE to cast aspersions upon my pie-eating ability? Tread carefully, madam. The last fool who questioned me got a tine in the cornea and spent the rest of his days going by the unflattering moniker Spork-Eyed Wilbur. What’s your favorite thing to do with a spork? </strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">Eat noodles. The fork wrangles the noodles, the spoon holds the broth. Perfection.</span></em><br />
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<strong>5. Perfection indeed. *preens* I have the ability to be simultaneously spoon, fork, and weapon of mass destruction. What unique ability do you have?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">I have the ability to snap a spork with only my mind. Fear me.</span></em><br />
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<strong>6. <em>Spork-Eyed Rachel</em>. It has a ring to it, don't you think? In this day and age, a savvy spork bent on world domination can’t afford to ignore a good marketing campaign. I’m thinking t-shirts with “Spork or Die.” If you made a shirt with your own slogan on it, what would it say?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">“Save a Spork; Eat a Shish Kabob” </span></em><br />
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<strong>7. If I had to compare myself to anyone in history, I’d have to say I’m most like Napoleon. Only skinnier. And shinier. And smart enough not to lose my empire at a place with a ridiculous name like Waterloo. Who are you most like and why?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">Any hermit who fights her battles with a pen.</span></em><br />
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<strong>8. I don't need a pen. I have titanium tines. Why is your job just as much fun as world domination?</strong><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><em>Because I get to create entire worlds, not just dominate them.</em></span><br />
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<strong>9. *reconsiders the merit of a pen* In between conquests, I like to read a good story. What can you recommend and why?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">The Forrest of Hands and Teeth. The only thing missing from that one was a spork.</span></em><br />
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<strong>10. So many authors fail to realize the genius of including a spork in their magnum opus. You need to accomplish a secret, night-time mission as my minion. Cloak? No cloak? Why?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">Again, I’m no one’s minion.</span></em><br />
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<strong>11. Never mind my earlier nickname for you. I've changed my mind. Keep up the sass and henceforth you shall be known only as <em>Rachel the Sporked</em>. My best piece of advice to others is this: “Fear the spork!” What’s your best advice?</strong><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">If you’re facing down a hellion with nothing more than a spork…run.</span></em><br />
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<strong>*glares* Fine. Run. But leave the pie. The pie is MINE.</strong><br />
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Thank you, Rachel, for such an entertaining interview! To learn more about Rachel, visit her <a href="http://rachelvincent.com/">site</a>. To purchase MY SOUL TO STEAL (Remember, it's book 4 in the Soul Screamers series. Start with MY SOUL TO TAKE.) go <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0373210035/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_3?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0778324214&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1J1NZ0DECZ0PG1CP3ZEG">here</a>.<br />
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Of course, the fun isn't over yet! Rachel is giving away a signed copy of MY SOUL TO STEAL to one lucky commenter. The contest is open internationally. Here's how to enter:<br />
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<strong><span style="color: blue;">1. Earn entries: </span></strong><br />
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*Comment on this post = 1 entry<br />
*Be a follower of this blog = 2 entries<br />
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*Tweet the link to this interview = 3 entries (Use @cjredwine or leave url to tweet in your comment so I can see it.)<br />
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*Post the contest on your blog or facebook= 3 entries (Include link in your comment.)<br />
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<strong><span style="color: blue;">2. Tally it up: </span></strong><br />
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Please tally up your entries and leave the total in your comment.<br />
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<strong><span style="color: blue;">3. Check back: </span></strong><br />
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The contest is open until 8 p.m. (central time) Sunday, April 3rd. Please check back to see if you've won and to claim your prize!<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><em><span style="color: blue;">Good luck to all, and happy reading! </span></em></div>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4982069049641262423.post-47062940104709460332011-03-27T22:19:00.000-05:002011-03-27T22:19:15.272-05:00Winner of DARKNESS BECOMES HER<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisUzBhsZIstrOkSeluZdmbbdgsD9ecR49-99I1vZPAKmLw409usl61JnJQXj3rSHe85wlkSPycHp0v2cL7Csg4uDnueYoGu8NszLh6gZe6uKL46CokN6dfe8MngdmIB3du-VeBFqU9qajT/s1600/DBH_final.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisUzBhsZIstrOkSeluZdmbbdgsD9ecR49-99I1vZPAKmLw409usl61JnJQXj3rSHe85wlkSPycHp0v2cL7Csg4uDnueYoGu8NszLh6gZe6uKL46CokN6dfe8MngdmIB3du-VeBFqU9qajT/s320/DBH_final.jpg" width="212" /></a></div><br />
Thank you to all who entered the contest to win a signed copy of Kelly Keaton's DARKNESS BECOMES HER. As always, I used random.org to pick the winner. And the winner is<br />
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<div align="center"><strong><em><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">Rachel Leigh</span></em></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Congratulations, Rachel! Please email me with your shipping info and I'll forward it on to Kelly. Thanks again for entering and happy reading!</div>C.J. Redwinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18133349802945244028noreply@blogger.com2