Friday, June 17, 2011

Harry Potter Trailer & More!

The final trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 has been released, and I'm not going to lie. I get choked up every time I watch this. Maybe because it's the culmination of years of living with these characters like family, eagerly anticipating the next time I could plunge headfirst into their magical world. Maybe because this is the moment where everyone I've grown to love steps up and discovers what they're truly made of. Maybe it's when Tonks and Lupin reach for each other but can't quite connect. Maybe it's all of it, but I'm bringing tissue with me when I see this movie because I am going to be wrecked.



Also? J.K. Rowling just launched a site called Pottermore which links to a youtube page counting down to a huge announcement. Rumor has it, she'll be writing more stories from the Harry Potter world. I know I'll be anxiously waiting to hear!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Interview With Myra McEntire


I first met Myra when she chased me down the hall at church and said "Hey! I heard you're a writer! I'm a writer too!" Those fateful words began what is now one of my most treasured friendships. BUT, before we became close friends, we met one night at the local bookstore for coffee and writer talk, and I took a look at the first few chapters of HOURGLASS. You know that delicious little tingle you get up your spine when you start reading a book you realize is going to totally rock your socks off?

I got that tingle and in the years since then, through every revision and edit, I haven't lost it. HOURGLASS is funny, heart-wrenching, compelling, sizzling, and unexpected. The plot twists alone will break your brain in all the best ways. And the romance? Um ... YES. And I love that the time-travel is based in quantum physics and that the southern setting actually feels like the South I know. Here's a peek at HOURGLASS:

For seventeen-year-old Emerson Cole, life is about seeing what isn't there: swooning Southern Belles; soldiers long forgotten; a haunting jazz trio that vanishes in an instant. Plagued by phantoms since her parents' death, she just wants the apparitions to stop so she can be normal. She's tried everything, but the visions keep coming back.So when her well-meaning brother brings in a consultant from a secretive organization called the Hourglass, Emerson's willing to try one last cure. But meeting Michael Weaver may not only change her future, it may change her past.


Who is this dark, mysterious, sympathetic guy, barely older than Emerson herself, who seems to believe every crazy word she says? Why does an electric charge seem to run through the room whenever he's around? And why is he so insistent that he needs her help to prevent a death that never should have happened?
Trust me. This is a fabulous debut you don't want to miss.When I invited Myra on the blog in honor of the release of HOURGLASS, she couldn't wait to take on the legendary Captain Jack.


Captain Jack



Myra McEntire


Now that you know who's who, it's time to reveal the cupcake of awesomesauce my hubby made for Myra's book. He outdid himself and made an incredible cupcake that both honors the title of her book and gives homage to the awesome time traveling that happens within its pages. Without further ado, I give you the cupcake of awesomesauce and Myra's interview with Captain Jack.


HOURGLASS cupcake of awesomesauce


1. Would you classify yourself as a pirate or a member of Her Majesty’s Royal navy? Why?

Oh I am such a pirate. My eyeliner is always down to my waist and my hair hasn’t seen a brush in years. I do, however, have good dental hygiene. Unless I’m on deadline.


2. You sound quite ... fetching. What’s your favorite thing to do in Tortuga?

Drin … shop for antiques. Especially coins.

3. Hands off my coins, love. Unless you'd like to bribe me with rum? I’m offering you free passage aboard my ship to anywhere in the world. Where shall we go?

Johnny … I mean … Jack? I’ll go anywhere you take me. I DID hear about a super spooky house in Collinsport, Maine. Supposedly this vampire lives there? And he looks a lot like you. But cleaner.

4. A cleaner version of me, eh? Give him a few swallows of rum and a night in Tortuga, and we'll fix that.  Who is the hero of your story most like: me (savvy, debonair, and unquestionably smooth with the ladies), the insufferably honorable Will Turner, or that deceptive little minx Elizabeth?

He’s insufferably honorable, he is, but his best friend is cut from the Jack Sparrow cloth. Might even dress like you occasionally. Partial to rum.

5. You can keep the hero. I'll take the friend. Rum? Or more rum?

Vodka.

6. You saucy minx, you! But I bet if you were aboard my ship, you'd learn to love rum as well. Which leads me to the age old question: Why is the rum always gone?

I’m going to blame the monkey.

7. Curse that blasted undead monkey! What’s the most piratish thing you’ve ever done?

That time I rode in a paddle boat? Either that or the time I bought a Tortuga rum cake in the Palm Beach airport for C.J. Redwine. (Also? I heard she has a thing for you. Might want to be careful.)

8. A paddle boat? For the sake of your sea cred, I hope you stole it and used it to transport said Tortuga rum cake across enemy lines. (And yes, she does rather have a thing for me, doesn't she? Not that I blame her, of course, but still, I'm keeping a weather eye on that one.) Are they rules? Or more like guidelines?

They are SUGGESTIONS.

9. You DID steal that paddle boat, didn't you? I understand you’re a story-teller. Any undead monkeys in your stories?

There are some ducks in the book I’m working on now. They aren’t undead though. UNLESS …

10. Undead ducks? Darling, you're giving me nightmares. Any curses? Heartless monsters? Irritating women who insist on taking matters into their own hands?

There are dead people. And a snarky teen who can totally take matters into her own hands. And also kick your ass.

11. I believe you've just insulted my honor. *checks today's agenda* I'll avenge it sometime after "Drink a jug of rum" and "steal King George's lunch." One of my favorite words is “egregious.” Care to share one of yours, love?

Echinacea.

12. Sounds like a particularly productive sneeze. Parlay? Or draw your sword?

I’d rather watch you draw yours.

13. Darling, you'll make me blush. And also? It's a date. You’ve got a crowd of cursed sailors and a nasty sea monster on your trail. How do you escape?

Well, I certainly don’t set the rum on fire.

14. Where have you been all my life? Bring your unbrushed, vodka-drinking, paddle-boat stealing self onto my boat and stay for a while. Romantic night in? Or adventure on the high seas?

How about a foot rub and a nap? I have kids, Jack. By any chance do you “manny”?

15. Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I am NO ONE'S "manny." Unless ... you don't happen to have a spare ship lying around, do you? My personal motto is: Take what you want, give nothing back. What’s yours?

1. Do not engage The Crazy. 2. Do not BE The Crazy.


Thank you, Myra, for such an entertaining interview! To learn more about Myra, visit her site. To purchase your copy of HOURGLASS, go here.

Of course, the fun isn't over yet! Myra is offering a signed copy of HOURGLASS to one lucky commenter. Contest is open to North American entries. Contest is open until 8 pm Sunday, June 19th. To enter, fill out the following form and don't forget to leave a comment at the bottom of the post. Also, VOTE in the poll on the sidebar to help choose Myra McEntire's Top Five post for next week's SUPER AWESOME GIVEAWAY! :) Good luck!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Pizazzed!



1. It's been FAR too long since I did one of my lists.

2. So much has happened between when I posted my "YAY I SOLD MY BOOK" post and now, so there's a pretty good chance I won't remember most of it.

3. Naturally, the stuff I don't want to remember is indelibly seared into my brain.

4. And, sadly, the brain of one very embarrassed TSA agent at the airport in Sacramento where I left my dignity and a good portion of any residual "Hm, perhaps THIS should be the last straw that sends me over the edge and into a loony bin" thoughts.

5. What was I doing in an airport in Sacramento that cost me my dignity and nearly made a hapless TSA agent walk into a wall?

6. I was traveling home from a mini-vacation to California. With my fifteen-month-old daughter. Just the two of us, a stuffed-to-the-limit diaper bag carry on, and a long security line that failed to keep her adequately interested.

7. Know what a toddler does when she's bored and has decided to abscond for more interesting locations?

8. She squirms. She fusses. She wiggles. And then, THEN, she makes an all-out bid for freedom that is probably now a viral video somewhere, only I'm not about to go trolling the internet looking for it.

9. I was there.

10. Once was enough.

11. I'd struggled to get her shoes off without taking a hand off of her (She's decided she likes to go up to complete strangers and ask to be picked up. Which, in a crowded Memorial Day weekend airport, is a frickin' nightmare for a mother.), and then struggled to get my own shoes off and place our carry on in the appropriate bins, all without losing my grip on her.

12. I'd then struggled to move those bins along to the conveyor while my daughter tried her best to ride the conveyor as well.

13. I figured once I only had myself and the baby to worry about, my troubles would be over.

14. That's a refreshingly naive statement, isn't it?

15. I released my bins onto the conveyor belt, turned to face the bulky TSA agent waiting for me on the other side of the metal detector and started walking.

16. Baby J, having had quite enough of wiggling in her mother's arms, chose that exact moment to whip an arm down the front of my shirt, bend over, and heave herself toward the floor.

17. I caught her before she succeeded in her kamikaze mission, but saving her meant sacrificing something else.

18. My dignity.

19. What little I possess.

20. She yanked my shirt down to my belt line.

21. MY BELT LINE.

22. The girls were on full display as I walked through the metal detector and came eye to eye with a ridiculously embarrassed TSA agent.

23. He immediately turned away from me, sort of stumbled into the side of the metal detector, and said something like "Do you want to sit down? You should sit down. Why don't you go sit down, and I'll help you get your bins?"

24. His face sort of resembled a radish.

25. It was the fastest security check I've ever had. Why check what you've already seen, right?

26. In other news, my last day at my current job is July 7th.

27. I'm thrilled to a) be able to spend a good chunk of the summer with my kids and b) be able to support myself with writing.

28. In other, other news, I have these pesky author questionnaires to fill out, and they ask questions like "what awards have you won" and "who do you know who might help promote the book"?

29. My agent has nixed the idea of recommending my mom as a strong promoter and claiming to have won an award as Queen of the Llamas.

30. *le sigh*

31. The other day, I checked my Klout score (a tool for measuring how much influence you wield within the social media landscape) and found it to be truly enlightening.

32. According to Klout, I'm a Specialist (Kind of like Stallone, only with better grammar and waaaaaay less physical prowess) in my area of influence and people look to me for the low down on the following topics: books, authors, creative writing, young adult books, and ... *drumroll* ... LLAMAS.

33. I laughed so hard, I nearly peed my pants. I may be the only person in the world who has a social media score that revolves around llamas.

34. Though it's sort of disappointing that llamas fell behind books, authors, and creative writing. When's the last time a book spat at you and while sporting an emo flop of hair over a pair of beady eyes?

35. Exactly.

36. Anyway, there's got to be some way to include my amazing Specialist of the Llamas status to my author questionnaire, right?

37. I can slip it into my bio with none the wiser!

38. Because really? My bio needs a little ... sparkle.

39. My youngest son ran by me the other day and shouted, "You've just been PIZAZZED! What now?"

40. And I realized that's exactly what my bio needs.

41. Pizazz!

42. What could add more Pizazz! than a llama?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Top Five Methods To Determine If You Are A Zombie

Guest post by the always entertaining Lilith Saintcrow.

The zombie apocalypse has struck, but you're prepared. You've done your cardio, you know about the double-tap, and you're cautious in bathrooms. You know not to be a hero until the last quarter of the movie, especially if your partner is Woody Harrelson. But something doesn't seem quite right. You can't quite put your finger on it.


You want to know if you're at risk. Fear not, doughty warrior facing the hordes of undead. Here are five simple methods of determining whether you're a zombie, or at risk of becoming one.

5. Check your appetite! Do spongy, soft, wrinkled, warm human brains sound really good, instead of as disgusting as a politician's sex life? Extra points if you don't even want ketchup/mustard/salt with your hot, steaming, messy brain breakfast. If that didn't make you want to blow chunks, you might be a zombie.



4. Try to run, hop, skip, or dance. If you can only shuffle-shamble (Dawn of the Dead) or scuttle (Night of the Living Dead remake) or move freaky-fast (28 Days Later), you're probably a zombie.


3. Look at your leisure activities. Do you sit for hours chained in a shed, playing video games and making long gassy noises? Or do you crouch behind Dumpsters waiting for unwary heroes to race past? If you do, you, my friend, are probably a zombie. On the other hand, if you are practicing flinging LPs like shuriken or learning to shoot a gun in a cool montage, you're safe. For now.


2. Sniff your pits! If you smell like gun oil, BO, or Cheetos, you're OK. If you reek of rotting flesh (and have not shot a zombie in the head recently and been spattered with stinking goo) or if the tip of your nose falls off while you sniff, you're probably a zombie.


1. Most importantly, think about your Horror Movie Karma. If you:

*have stolen something from a protagonist,


*have threatened an innocent bystander,


*have not been allowed any speaking lines,


*are wearing a red shirt,


*are hearing swelling sad music or eerie drumbeats in the background,


*have fallen in like with the Silent Grim Hero or the Spunky But Helpless Heroine,


*had sex (if female) or fallen in unrequited love (if male),


*have acted Billy Bob Thornton-creepy while carrying a shovel OR any other household/gardening implement


*have had to run away from Kevin Bacon in creepymode,


*have realized you are a token minority in a group,


*have recently said "I don't see anything," or "What could go wrong? or "Where are you?" or "Nothing's going to happen!" or "I'd rather die than be one of those things," or any variation of the previous,


*have forgotten to turn your cell phone off,


*have ever forgotten to lock a door/window/aperture during the course of events,


*have found out you are spunkier/sassier/sexier than a protagonist with more lines than you,


*have realized you are Sean Bean or Lance Henriksen or any other actor/actress who they have to kill so you don't steal the movie,


*have noticed that everything around you is dead quiet except for your own panicked gasping breathing...


...well, my friend, sucks to be you, you will soon be a zombie. Don't worry, though--the hero/ine will soon bash your head in or ignite you, and your agony will be brief.


I hope these simple guidelines help. Stay safe (and zombie-free) out there!

*is busy sniffing her pits and nearly misses her cue* Awesome list, Lilith. I'm nearly convinced I'm not a zombie, but I worry a bit about my neighbors ...

If you missed out on Lilith's amazing book giveaway last week, fear not! (Unless you've determined from this list that someone you love is a zombie. If that's the case, FEAR. And then RUN. And also, act as brainless as possible. I've heard that helps.) My favorite jewelry designer on Etsy, Tashina Falene (check out her shop!), has designed a one-of-a-kind necklace just for Lilith's character Jill Kismet, and I'm offering it to one lucky reader!

Here's the necklace:




Isn't it amazing? It was designed with suggestions from Lilith and is the only one that will ever be made. To win it, simply fill out the form below. There are many ways to earn extra entries, and the contest is open internationally. You have until 8 p.m. Central Time on Friday, June 17th to enter. Make sure you scroll down to answer every question on the form and hit Submit so your entry counts! :)




Thanks again to Lilith for being an amazing author and giving us such a plethora of spine-tingling, heart-grabbing, edge-of-your-seat stories. If you haven't read her yet, I hope you'll pick up one of her books the next time you're looking for a fabulous read.

Check back Friday night for the winner announcement, and good luck to all!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Winner of the set of Jill Kismet Books!



Thank you to all who entered the drawing for the set of Lilith Saintcrow's Jill Kismet books. (Along with a HUGE thanks to Lilith for offering a prize worthy of the Were-llama himself!) As always, I used random.org to choose the winner. And the winner is:

Tialessa


Congratulations! You will receive an email from me shortly. Please send me your shipping info so I can pass that along to Lilith. Thanks for entering and happy reading!

Didn't win this time? Don't worry! The majority of you voted for Lilith to post her Top Five Methods To Determine If You Are A Zombie *snicker* and that post goes up tomorrow, along with an awesome giveaway! You could win a one-of-a-kind necklace designed just for Jill Kismet.

Also this week, debut author Myra McEntire takes on Captain Jack Sparrow and gives away a signed copy of her sizzling time travel HOURGLASS!

You don't want to miss either giveaway (and both writers are entertaining like WHOA), so check back in tomorrow to get the party started. :)

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Interview & EPIC Giveaway with Lilith Saintcrow





It's no secret that I adore both the YA and adult books of the talented Lilith Saintcrow. And I'm not alone in this ... her earlier interview consistently ranks among my top ten viewed blog posts. Lilith's books are full of spine-tingling action, edge-of-your-seat suspense, and raw emotion. Her newest book in the Jill Kismet series continues the thrill ride as Jill keeps her enemies closer than her friends in an attempt to defeat the latest awful creature crawling out of the pits of hell to torment the inhabitants of Earth. Here's a peek at the story:

When a new hellbreed comes calling, playing nice isn’t an option. Jill Kismet has no choice but to seek treacherous allies – Perry, the devil she knows, and Melisande Belisa, the cunning Sorrows temptress whose true loyalties are unknown.



Kismet knows Perry and Belisa are likely playing for the same thing–her soul. It’s just too bad, because she expects to beat them at their own game. Except their game is vengeance.


Nobody plays vengeance like Kismet. But if the revenge she seeks damns her, her enemies might get her soul after all…

Don't expect to get much sleep while you're reading it! I was thrilled when Lilith agreed to be interviewed again on the blog. (And wait until you see the HOLY COW AMAZING giveaway she's offering!) This time, she chose to take on that bastion of awesomeness, the Were-llama.


The Were-llama



Lilith Saintcrow

Now that you know who's who, let's dive into the interview and reveal the cupcake my hubby made in honor of HEAVEN'S SPITE. In the novel, there are pale oval doors between our world and hell, and misshapen appendages try to pull their way through those openings. My hubby decided to make a cupcake depicting one of those fruitless bids for freedom. Without further ado, I give you Lilith vs. the Were-llama and the cupcake doorway to Hell.


Why no, that isn't a door knocker. That's a hand. A silvery hand. A silvery hellish undead hand of DOOM.

1. So, you’re a writer. I’m a super-scary shape-shifter who can command obedience with the awesome power of my glowing red eyes. What do we have in common?


In addition to being a writer, I am a mother. Which means I can command obedience with a single scorching look, an aggrieved sigh, or a single word. The power of my Mommy Voice can stun an entire class of seventh-graders into silence, halt a teenage boy in his tracks, and turn adults into children caught at the cookie jar in an instant.

I do try to only use my powers for good.

2. I was impressed right up until that last sentence. Only use powers for good? Pfft! Where's the fun in that? I like to spit at my enemies from whichever end is closest to them. Do any of your characters have cool abilities like that?

Not quite that…theatrical. One of my characters can bring the dead back to answer probate questions. Another can set things on fire with her mind. Yet another can get shot with an assault rifle and get up ready to kick serious ass. They’re a mixed bunch. But no, not as…cool…as your abilities.

3. I see what you're trying to do with that deliberate little hesitation before the word "cool." You deal with a face-full of llama spit (from either end!) and then we'll talk about who's COOL. If I had a nickname, it would be The Awesome. You?

“Tiger Lili.” It’s what my bouldering partner calls me at the climbing wall. Probably because I enthusiastically throw myself at the wall like a maniac, and claw my way up through sheer force of will.

4. I don't claw my way up anything by sheer force of will. I make humans do that for me. I hang around this blog because I love stories. What’s your story about? Bonus points if it includes a llama.

My story’s about a woman who wakes up in her own grave out in the desert, covered in wasps and amnesiac. As usual, she’s got to save the world, but that’s tough to do if you can’t even remember your own name. Things just get worse from there. I am greatly saddened to report that I was not talented enough to put a llama in.

5. *sighs* So few truly understand the literary genius of adding a llama to the story. You’re making me a cake worthy of my awesome Were-llama status and decorating it to represent your story. What does it look like?

Burned, blood-spattered, scattered with silver charms and spent ammo casings, drenched with rainwater, sliced by hellbreed claws. Rendered in exquisite confectionary detail, and, of course, delicious. (After all, CJ’s husband is drafted to make it. Right?)

6. Your offering has been deemed acceptable. And yes, C.J.'s long-suffering husband makes all confectionery carnage in this household. Any Were-llamas in your book?

I wish! Alas, my literary talents are not considerable enough for the challenge of portraying the nuance, the grandeur, the sheer scope of the Were-llama. My lack of ability fills me with despair.

7. *pats you on the head* The accurate portrayal of the majestic Were-llama and his formidable spitting abilities is more than most authors dare attempt. We are, however, notoriously sneaky and might have slipped in under your radar. Anyone who might be a Were-llama and you just haven’t figured it out yet?

I can’t think of a single character worthy of that high status. Although there probably are a tribe of Were-llamas in Jill Kismet’s world.

8. If there are an entire tribe, rest assured, Madam, that they shall soon rule that world. With a business end at BOTH ends, no one escapes the wrath of the Were-llama. Llamas or camels and why? Think carefully.

Llamas, of course! They are ideal for home defense. I once (and this is 100% absolutely completely true, before you ask) knew a Reiki master who had a herd of sheep; he had a llama to guard them. He said the llama scared the coyotes so bad they never came back. I believe this.

9. There was a brief, tragic time in our history in which we were used as spitting guard dogs for the benefit of humans. But we've since handed that role over to donkeys (They have a high kick to rival that of any Vegas showgirl.) and are intent on ruling the humans instead. I give you a baby Were-llama as a companion. What do you name her?

Whatever she pleases.

10. A wise answer. My favorite word is “awesome” because, yanno, look at me. What’s yours?

I can’t choose! Words are a neverending smorgasbord of delight, a banquet of sensual joy. I love them all. Each word is exquisite. I can’t pick a favourite, though I do sometimes whip out “antidisestablishmentarianism” to trip the unwary.

11. I sometimes whip my hair back and forth to trip the unwary, but whatever works for you. As a young Were-llama, I dreamt of taking over the eastern seaboard one face full of spit at a time. What did you dream of doing when you were young?

I’m afraid my dreams most often centred on simple survival. Where I grew up, dreaming was dangerous. One had to be alert at all times, and dreaming was a liability.

12. No wonder you have an innate appreciate for the ferocity of the Were-llama. I'm glad to see your dreams now give us doorways to hell and women bent on revenge. Now, all you need to do is add a llama to your next story, and you'll be the complete package. Cake or cookies?
Yes, thank you.

13. Do you share chocolate?

With my writing partner or my teenage daughter, yes. Because they know where I sleep. Anyone else, it depends on the time of month—and their methods of begging or persuasion.

14. I refuse to beg or persuade, but I have no doubt you would share with ME. The Zombie Goat invasion is upon us. How will you fight them off?

Firepower. Sledgehammers. Katanas. Kerosene. High-heeled shoes. Sippy cups. Bendy straws. Toothpicks. Grand pianos. Wet noodles. In short, anything I can get my hands, feet, teeth, elbows, knees, or nose on. In the face of a Zombie Goat invasion, everything is a weapon. Everything.


Silly girl. All you need is a tribe of Were-llamas.

Thank you, Lilith, for once again delivering a fabulously entertaining interview! To learn more about Lilith and her awesome books, visit her site. To purchase HEAVEN'S SPITE, head here.  But of course, the fun isn't over yet!

Lilith has generously offered to give away the ENTIRE SET of Jill Kismet books to one lucky commenter! If the winner is from North America, the set will be signed. If the winner is from anywhere else, the books will arrive via Book Depository. That's five books!

How HOLY COW AMAZING is that??

And that's not all! Next Monday, you'll get a chance to read Lilith's Top Five list and be entered into a drawing for a one-of-a-kind necklace designed especially for HEAVEN'S SPITE. Trust me, this necklace is awesome!

To enter the drawing for the set of Kismet books, please fill out the form below. And don't forget to vote one which Top Five list you'd like to see from Lilith this Monday! The poll closes on Friday, June 10th at 10 p.m. Central Time. The drawing for the set of Kismet books closes at 8 p.m. Central Time on Sunday, June 12th.

What are you waiting for? Fill out the entry form, vote in the poll (located on my sidebar), and check back Monday to see who won and to enter the drawing for the one-of-a-kind Jill Kismet necklace!







Thursday, May 19, 2011

SOLD!!


I've been sitting on this news for over a week, now. Remember last week when I said part of my May was WOW? This is the WOW, announced in Publisher's Lunch today:

CJ Redwine's THE COURIER'S DAUGHTER, a YA fantasy debut in which an independent girl sets out to rescue her father from the Wasteland outside their cloistered city and in the process finds danger, heartbreak, and a new romance with her father's apprentice, to Kristin Daly Rens at Balzer & Bray, at auction, in a three-book deal, by Holly Root at Waxman Literary Agency 

I'm so thrilled. I have no idea how to make this font look like the font I started with, but my status as resident TechIdiot doesn't matter because I sold!! :)

I'm really excited to work with Kristin. I had phone calls with each of the editors interested in my book, and I took detailed notes. Except with Kristin. I got so caught up in enjoying the conversation with her, that I didn't take a single note. When I hung up, I realized what I'd done, and that I had no time to recall all the pieces of shiny awesomeness from our conversation, so instead, I simply wrote "I love her!!!" and moved on.

How fortunate to be able to work with someone whom I truly enjoy, and who has the same vision for my book as I do!

Also? My agent Holly did such an amazing job in selling this trilogy that I get to quit my day job once I receive the advance and stay home to write and be a mom. YAY!!!

I'm so overwhelmed at the outpouring of good wishes and support I've received today on Twitter, FB, and my inbox. Thank you to all who've celebrated with me.

And extra thanks to Katy, Mandy, Heather, Sara, and Shannon for being my first readers and for helping me make this book shine. :)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Bring Your Crazy To ME

This picture has absolutely nothing to do wth this post.

1. What a terrible blogger I've been this week!

2. Feel free to sternly admonish me, or slip a little money toward Beth Revis for her next dastardly assault against my person.

3. I don't know how it can possibly be the middle of May already.

4. I suspect nargles had something to do with it.

5. My May has been full of BUSY and WOW and YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

6. The BUSY is kind of boring, actually. It involves working the day job, neglecting my email account, fighting a losing battle with the laundry, and desperately trying to keep food in my cupboards.

7. Three boys (1 teenage, 2 almost)? Eat like maybe this meal, THIS MEAL, this one they're eating five seconds after their last meal, will be all the food they ever see again.

8. I've taken to hiding food just to make it last.

9. I've advised them that perhaps they should educate themselves on any edible foliage available in Middle Tennessee, and then hie themselves to a local field and forage for their supper.

10. My BUSY also included teaching workshops and critiquing two holy-crap-awesome books for two of my CPs.

11. Sadly, my BUSY did not include a role in the upcoming Pirates movie. Or lunch with Johnny Depp. Or well-deserved recognition as the reigning Queen of __insert appropriate title here__.

12. My WOW moments I've either blogged or am planning to blog, so I won't take the fun out of reading a future blog post by detailing it now.

13. It does, however, involve a llama.

14. Of sorts.

15. Speaking of llamas, some of my employees were talking the other day, and as I approached, they pulled me into the conversation with the following totally irresistible question: What animal would you hate to be killed by?

16. Naturally, I quickly clarified my staunch Do Not Die By Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral policy.

17. They said, "Well, if you HAD to die by animal, which would be the worst?"

18. I said, "Llama."

19. They all responded with varying degrees of shock, laughter, and bemusement. Turns out, they all said stuff like bears, tigers, jaguars, or snakes.

20. I don't actually want to die by bears, tigers, jaguars, or snakes either.

21. But at least THEN, my obituary could sound like I was a swashbuckling adventurer! A daring explorer! Bear Grylls!

22. There's no dignity in death by llama.

23. There's SPIT, ergo loss of face.

24. And while llamas are fierce and mean and thoroughly bad-tempered when they want to be, nobody really expects to be killed by one, so therefore, not only is there a loss of dignity and face, there's also the potential to become an urban legend--the one woman stupid enough to get herself axed by an Alpaca.

25. No thanks.

26. On the YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME front, two things of note.

27. One, both our air conditioning units said Adios, Muchachos! this spring. Probably because of a llama.

28. One cannot face a Middle Tennessee summer without air conditioning.

29. The weather climbed into the high 80s and low 90s this past week, and we were MISERABLE.

30. Which meant the kids were miserable.

31. Which meant WE were miserable times a gazillion and forty-six.

32. Yesterday, we finally got both units replaced, the house cooled down, and everyone finally slept well for the first time in days.

33. The other YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME note is this:

34. You'll recall last week I blogged about the new employee who thought the world really would end in 2012 (because we live on an active volcano...ALL THE EARTH is an active volcano?).

35. Against all odds, I came in contact with someone else a few days ago who pretty much believes the same thing.

36. It's like I have a sign over my head that says "Bring your crazy to ME."

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Tin Foil Hat!


1. A list on Thursday? *cue gasp*

2. Yes. Because somehow, Monday-Wednesday slipped into a swirling vortex of DOOM, never to be heard from again.

3. But during my stint in the vortex of DOOM, I had an encounter which must be blogged.

4. It went like this:

Me: Welcome to your first day of training! I've had lunch served for us. If you could please be seated, we'll eat, and then get started.

New Employee: *sits* *looks at food* This looks good. I ate something earlier because I had to take medication for my __insert incomprehensible medical term here__. They say never to take medication on an empty stomach. The last time I did that, I was puking my toenails up for a week.

Me: *pushes own food away* How charming.

NE: I mean, you can't mess with an empty stomach, you know?

Me: I'm aware.

NE: *takes a huge bite and leans forward* So, do you think the world is going to end in 2010 like they say it is?

Me: I beg your pardon?

NE: The world? Do you think it's going to end in 2012? Because everyone says it will, you know.

Me: Ah, no. I don't. I don't think anyone can predict something like that.

NE: So you discount all the proof from all the scientists who say it will?

Me: What scientists?

NE: ALL the scientists.

Me: *thinks snarky thoughts about scientists who wear tin foil as headgear, but keeps polite smile plastered to her face* I think we don't need to worry about something we couldn't possibly control. Isn't it better to live your life to the best of your ability TODAY?

NE: Oh, sure. Yes. But you know, we're living on an active volcano.

Me: *checks new employee for signs of tin foil headgear*  Are we?

NE: The whole earth is just one giant volcano. One day it will erupt and then where will we be?

Me: Wishing we had marshmallows and chocolate?

NE: *blinks* I don't know what good that will do you when you're about to be consumed by flaming lava.

Me: Never mind.

NE: And under the volcano is nothing but water, so if one doesn't get us, the other will. The whole earth is just going to crack open and let it all through. The scientists say so.

Me: Well, wouldn't the water counter-act the lava?

NE: *stares at me* That's not what all the scientists say. Besides, didn't you see that movie?

Me: Which one?

NE: The one where the world ends in 2012 because of natural disasters.

Me: You mean the movie 2012???

NE: It's already begun. Look at the tornadoes. The floods last year. Japan.

Me: I don't think 2012 is supposed to be taken literally.

NE: They were right on track with what the scientists say.

Me: It's not a documentary. You know that, right?

NE: It's all going to end in a few months.

Me: I wonder what it would take to speed up that process.

NE: Oh, that's easy. Too much use of microwave ovens. You know those things rip holes in the fabric of our universe.

Me: Shoot me. Now.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Search Term: FAIL


Every now and then, I check to see what search terms are leading hapless readers to my blog. This time, I found a few that are simply too strange not to share.

1. Don't start nothing you can't finish: I feel to truly understand this search phrase, I may need a lesson on how, exactly, one starts nothing and then proceeds to finish it.

2. Man the Jelly-hole, Captain!: I don't even want to know. Actually, I do want to know, but that's the sort of intrepid curiosity that once got my tongue stuck to a block of salt in a GOAT PEN, so .... no thank you. Lesson learned.

3. Are ostriches suicidal?: They can be. I think if you combine their suicidal tendencies with their clear anxiety and avoidance issues (Why else would they stick their heads in the sand to hide from predators?), it's pretty clear someone should be slipping some Prozac into their food supply.

4. Cupcake discrepancy: I don't know what kind of discrepancy this searcher had in his cupcake, but the cupcakes on THIS blog are always awesome.

5. Friggin' frack: I can't explain this. In the four years I've been running this blog, I don't think I've ever typed either "friggin'" or "frack." The fact that this search term landed the reader on a post about lemonade makes it even more mysterious. Perhaps Google was having a little joke at this reader's expense? Friggin' frack!

6. Are you a redneck if you wear underwear outside your clothes?: No, sir, you are not. You are simply an idiot.

7. C.J. Redwine hooch: Really? REALLY? Hooch? As in the esophagus-melting swill a few misguided souls brew in their bathtubs? Or as in hoochie-mama? Either way, I invite you to come say it to my face. I'll show you how to turn hooch into a verb. To hooch: The act of pulling someone's internal organs out their left nostril.

8. How to snort things: Things? My dear reader, as an accidental snorter-extraordinaire, allow me to tell you that narrowing the field of the "things" you are willing to snort is a step in the right direction. Although, since your question seems to reveal a lack of understanding of the basic concept of jerking large quantities of air through your nose in a manner designed to produce a sound reminiscent of an angry boar, I fear you need practice before you can move on to snorting "things." And may I recommend you steer clear of fresh cinnamon gum and chicken nuggets in your snorting exploits? Those two items alone have nearly been the death of me.

9. Should I poop?: *blinks* I can't really answer that without knowing further details of your dilemma and frankly, you've already told me TOO MUCH for my own personal comfort. I'm going to take a gamble, though, and go with YES. Yes, you probably should. Though, I don't really understand why the alternative was even a consideration.

And finally, my personal favorite:

10. The grossest website ever: I was about to strenuously argue against this unfair association with my blog, but then I realized in this post alone I reference poop, snorting chicken nuggets, jelly-holes, and wearing underwear outside one's clothes, so ... sure. Okay. Whatever, Google. But if I'm going to carry the title, by golly, you'd better be ready to give me a crown. *holds out hand and waits*

Monday, April 25, 2011

Winner of THE VESPERTINE


Thank you to all who entered the contest to win a signed copy of Saundra Mitchell's THE VESPERTINE. As always, I used random.org to choose the winner. And the winner is:

Tristan

Congratulations! Please email me with your shipping address, and I'll forward it on to Saundra. My email is on my About page. Thanks again for entering, and happy reading!

Wherein I Lose Half My Face


1. This list might be more random than usual, but there's a theme. WATER.

2. That's important.

3. Before I explain myself, let me tell you a few things you probably don't need to know, and one thing you DO need to know.

4. Important: Today is the last day to enter to win a signed copy of Saundra Mitchell's THE VESPERTINE. Don't miss out!

5. Now, for some not so important things. Etsy is mildly entertaining sort of interesting somewhat diverting CRACK!

6. It is crack. Not only do they have some awesome stores whose wares I frequently drool over, they also have a feature where you can curate your own treasury list of items based on a theme of your choosing.

7. Reader, I cannot resist this.

8. Last night, I made four lists. Because I adore them, and because I cannot possibly have wasted spent that much time on something without at least the excuse of sharing it with you, I give you the following:
9. You see why I started this post by telling you I'd be sharing some things you didn't need to know.

10. Now, for something of dire importance.

11. Water done WRONG.

12. Cue ridiculously WRONG visual aid that actually has nothing to do with the following story except for a vague connection to water.


Look at me! I am so WRONG, I might be right. Okay, no. I am just WRONG. But hey, you're still looking.
13. Two weeks ago, I went to the dentist to have a filling replaced.

14. When one goes to the dentist, one does not expect to be risking one's life.

15. OR, if one is risking one's life, one expects it to be because one coughed while the hygienist had that sharp, pointy thing inside one's mouth aimed most inconveniently at the back of one's throat.

16. One does not expect to risk one's life while rinsing.

17. I usually have the same hygienist every time I visit my dentist. She's a lovely woman with two beautiful daughters, an affinity for adoption, and the charming ability to clean my teeth without causing me cardiac arrest.

18. This time, a new hygienist was in charge of helping the dentist with the entire procedure. I'm sure she's a perfectly lovely woman too. When she isn't a) trying to kill me, b) trying to discuss Kathie Lee and Hoda with me while shoving her hands down my throat, and c) trying to KILL ME.

19. The problem started when the dentist realized my filling needed to be replaced because apparently I clench my teeth at night, and therefore I'd cracked the outside of my tooth. This necessitated more work than she'd anticipated, and so she had to make sure I was not just numb, but My Lip Might Be Wrapped Around The Bottom Of My Shoe And I Don't Care numb.

20. This took three shots.

21. By the time the third shot kicked it, I no longer knew how to properly work the muscles in my face.

22. Heck, I wasn't even sure I still had a face.

23. And I was pretty sure I might be drooling.

24. Enter the new hygienist, a perky woman with a Wisconsin accent who kept asking me questions and then saying "Ya, ya, ya" and laughing.

25. I had no real issue with that, until she started expecting an answer.

26. I tried to give her one when she pointed to the tv in the corner and asked something about whatever asinine thing Kathy Lee and Hoda were doing, but it sort of sounded like Mumfpshs. Shrumboobab. Oogg. And I don't think she truly understood me.



27. Also? When I opened my mouth? Drool. Like WHOA.

28. Still, none of that was life-threatening.

29. The dentist came in, confirmed that I was now missing half of my face, tilted me so far back in the chair that blood rushed to my head, and began to drill.

30. None of that was life-threatening either.

31. But when she finished her first round of drilling, looked at the hygienist, and said "Rinse," I wish I'd understood that "rinse" was code for "flush every orifice you can reach." Because if I'd understood that salient piece of information, I would've taken myself right out of that office, face or no face.

32. But I didn't. So I sat there, my head significantly lower than my body, my mouth still crammed with instruments of torture, and let the hygienist poke the water hose into my mouth and turn it on.

33. The water instantly flooded my sinuses.

34. And began to leak out my nose.

35. And I could not breathe.

36. But I was missing half of my face, so I couldn't say that I couldn't breathe.

37. I tried. It sounded like "Ibbba coggggg bwaaaannthmp."

38. The hygienist leaned forward and said, "What's that, dear?"

39. By this time, I'd begun to accompany my failed attempts at communication with full-on body twitches, and a wild attempt to sit up that had her exclaiming in alarm and gently shoving me back into position.

40. I tried again. "The waaaa woooonnnnn umph maaaa nossssh."

41. "That's nice, dear," she said. And I began to wish terrible, terrible things would happen to her. Things involving water hoses, and duct tape, and a constant loop of Richard Simmons, the early years, on her VCR.

42. The dentist was better skilled at interpreting words from people with half a face. She said "Did the water go up your nose?"

43. "Yumshhhh," I said.

44. "Oops," she said. "Sorry about that."

45. I accepted her apology as graciously as a girl with half a face, a mouthful of metal instruments, and a chin dripping a continuous string of drool could possibly do. But then, THEN, she finished drilling a second time and said "Rinse."

46. And, dear reader, the hygienist poked the hose into my mouth and once more filled my sinuses with water.

47. At this point, I realized I'd neglected to ask a very important question.

48. I jerked away from her, snort-snerked the water out of my sinuses as best I could (not the easiest task when I only had half a face to work with), and said the following: "Ooo yuuuu knoaaaoo Beffff Revvissshhh?"

49. Because it occurred to me that my hygienist was trying to kill me. And anyone who expects to carry on a conversation with a girl who's lost half her face while having a mouth full of every piece of equipment known to the dentisting world couldn't possibly have come up with such a dastardly plot on her own. Beth Revis, having failed in her first attempt, had to be behind it.

50. Both the dentist and the hygienist pretended not to know what I was talking about, (In fact, they acted somewhat confused as to who Beth Revis was and why I'd be asking about her.) but they didn't fool me.  This had Beth Revis written all over it.

51. Especially when the hygienist pretended to feel bad for nearly drowning me a second time, yanked the hose from my mouth, and managed to squirt me UP THE NOSE from the OUTSIDE and then score a direct hit IN MY EYE before remembering to turn off the water.

52. I would've given her a piece of my mind, but figured the lack of enunciation, coupled with the drool, might mitigate the impact.

53. Plus, I didn't want to give her any further cause to go after the few orifices she'd missed.

54. I left the dentist's office and went straight to Books A Million to finish revising TCD, a move which may, in retrospect, have been ill-advised.

55. You'll recall that this is the same coffee shop where just the week before, the day Beth Revis first tried to kill me, I'd contorted my face in all manner of unnatural positions while unknowingly looking like a homeless woman?

56. Now, I was walking into the coffee shop with half of my face dangling around my knees.

57. The barista greeted me, and I tried to nonchalantly greet her in return, but I'm pretty sure it was a fail. A) because it sounded something like "Doonnmt maaandd mee aaah wassshhh almoooossssht killllebd aat thbe dennntissssshbt", B) because she looked at me with pity and offered me a free raspberry chocolate smoothie sample, and C) because when I sat down, I realized I was still drooling.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Interview With Saundra Mitchell


I've known Saundra via Twitter for some time, and have always admired her friendliness, industry knowledge, and sense of humor. But when she entered into an 80's flashback contest with me (and a few others) and not only held her own, but sort of blew the rest of us out of the water, I decided she was my kind of girl. :) I've been hearing nothing but amazing things about THE VESPERTINE, so I was thrilled when Saundra agreed to be on the blog. (I wonder if she's wearing leg warmers and a banana comb while rocking out to a hair band ballad right now?) Here's a peek at THE VESPERTINE:

The summer of 1889 is the one between childhood and womanhood for Amelia van den Broek-and thankfully, she’s not spending it at home in rural Maine. She’s been sent to Baltimore to stay with her stylish cousin, Zora, who will show her all the pleasures of city life and help her find a suitable man to marry.


Archery in the park, dazzling balls and hints of forbidden romance-Victorian Baltimore is more exciting than Amelia imagined. But her gaiety is interrupted by disturbing, dreamlike visions she has only at sunset-visions that offer glimpses of the future. Soon, friends and strangers alike call on Amelia to hear her prophecies. Newly dubbed “Maine’s Own Mystic”, Amelia is suddenly quite in demand.

However, her attraction to Nathaniel, an artist who is decidedly outside of Zora’s circle, threatens the new life Amelia is building in Baltimore. This enigmatic young man is keeping secrets of his own- still, Amelia finds herself irrepressibly drawn to him. And while she has no trouble seeing the futures of others, she cannot predict whether Nathaniel will remain in hers.


When one of her darkest visions comes to pass, Amelia’s world is thrown into chaos. And those around her begin to wonder if she’s not the seer of dark portents, but the cause.
Victorian Baltimore, romance in trouble, and intrigue? Sign me up! Saundra decided to be interviewed by the always debonair Captain Jack Sparrow.

Captain Jack



Saundra Mitchell

Before we get to the interview, it's time to reveal the gorgeous cupcake my hubby made in honor of Saundra's book. Saundra sent me a few pictures of things that are significant in THE VESPERTINE, and my hubby chose to make an edible replica of a sunburst jewelry charm. Without further ado, I give you the sunburst cupcake and Saundra's interview with Captain Jack.




1. Would you classify yourself as a pirate or a member of Her Majesty’s Royal navy? Why?


I would classify myself as neither. If I said HMRN, we'd be enemies. If I said pirate, we'd be competitors. I fly a curiously neutral flag, sir. Although it does have a tiny green ninja in the bottom right hand corner, which is especially meaningful.

2. I am unfamiliar with the concept of a tiny green ninja, but as long as ninjas don't drink my rum, all is well. What’s your favorite thing to do in Tortuga?

Oh, you know. Kicking back with some reads. Selling dead men's secrets. The usual.

3. Hm. An entrepreneur of the shady and somewhat questionable side? Darling, you intrigue me. I’m offering you free passage aboard my ship to anywhere in the world. Where shall we go, love?

Great Britain. I want to see Tintagel and Glastonbury Tor, and the stone rings, and the old Roman roads, and Hadrian's Wall, and Sutton Hoo, and the Elgin Marbles and all the lovely things from Egyptian Antiquity that the British Museum has in its possession. And since we're already in the neighborhood, be a dear and nick us over to Ireland, too!

4. *eyes you carefully* My love, I regret to inform you that should I set boot on merry old England's shores, those insufferable wool-coated navy men shall do their best to see me hung until death. Most unpleasant. Who is the hero of your story most like: me (savvy, debonair, and unquestionably smooth with the ladies), the insufferably honorable Will Turner, or that deceptive little minx Elizabeth?
Amelia can be smooth when she wants to be, but for most of the book, she's trying to be good. Even though she fails miserably at it, that counts you out of the running, I'm afraid! Ultimately, she decides that freedom is worth more than propriety, so I expect she and Elizabeth would mix nicely.

5. In that case, remind me never to kiss Amelia. I rather like the thought of remaining alive. Rum? Or more rum?
Jack, darling... spiced rum.

6. Darling, a good rum burns the esophagus and lights a fire in the lower intestines. Adding spice to the mix seems a tad pinch of overkill, but I do enjoy a woman with a sense of adventure! Which leads me to the age old question: Why is the rum always gone?

The tiny green flag ninja hates partials. He finishes all the bottles off. It gives him purpose and meaning. And hangovers. That's why he's green.

7. I fail to comprehend how a tiny green anything is finishing off my rum. I'll run him through with my longsword if he doesn't bugger off. What’s the most piratish thing you’ve ever done?

Some friends and I tried to board a vessel that was not of our own belonging in Baltimore once, but that was just a misunderstanding. We stopped as soon as we understood that proceeding would be a felony. Or a maritime thingie of high bad.

8. Darling, darling, darling ... one does not stop when one is presumably caught red-handed. One simply changes courses and does the unexpected in order to still get one's hands on what one wants. Are they rules? Or more like guidelines?

Everything is a guideline. Actually, even guidelines are more suggestions. And suggestions are generally meant to be ignored.

9. Stop. You had me at suggestions. I understand you’re a story-teller. Any undead monkeys in your stories?

No, but I did just write a story that contains three flaming witches, an earthenwork defiler, and a pair of palm-sized monkeys named Cursor and Celeris. Does that count?

10. Palm-sized monkeys? What is it with you and tiny little things of a deplorable nature? Any curses in your story? Heartless monsters? Irritating women who insist on taking matters into their own hands?

All of the young women in my books take matters into their own hands. Surely a worldly gentleman such as yourself isn't threatened by bright girls with sharp minds. They wouldn't be interesting if they weren't thinking!

11. Depends on what they're thinking. One of my favorite words is “egregious.” Care to share one of yours, love?

Existential. There's a lot of tongue-play involved in the saying of it, and a lot of brain-teasing in the meaning of it.

12. I've had far too much rum this early in the day to participate in any sort of brain-teasing. The other option is still on the table, however. Parlay? Or draw your sword?

Bring the blades; I have a tiny green flag ninja as my second!

13. I begin to suspect YOU are the reason my rum is gone, and this tiny green flag ninja is the natural byproduct of your over-zealous rum consumption. You’ve got a crowd of cursed sailors and a nasty sea monster on your trail. How do you escape?

With generous applications of aqua regia in my wake. Since it dissolves gold, I figure very few will pursue me once they realize their booty is in danger.

14. You are a brilliant little thing, aren't you? *surreptitiously checks own booty for evidence of dissolvitude* Romantic night in? Or adventure on the high seas?

Why isn't romantic adventure on the high seas an option? We have all this rum...

15. I think we shall do nicely together, my love. *hides a few spare bottles of rum, just in case* My personal motto is: Take what you want, give nothing back. What’s yours?

You're gonna get kicked in the face, but you have to keep going. Which I think is a motto you've probably already internalized, amirite?

Indubitably.
 
Thank you, Saundra, for such an entertaining interview! To learn more about Saundra, visit her site. To purchase THE VESPERTINE (or any of her other books) go here. Of course, the fun isn't over yet! Saundra is giving away a signed copy of THE VESPERTINE to one lucky commenter. (Giveaway is North America only) Here's how to enter:
 
1. Earn entries:


*Comment on this post = 1 entry

*Be a follower of this blog = 2 entries

*Tweet the link to this interview = 3 entries (Use @cjredwine or leave url to tweet in your comment so I can see it.)

*Post the contest on your blog or facebook= 3 entries (Include link in your comment.)


2. Tally it up:

Please tally up your entries and leave the total in your comment.

3. Check back:

The contest is open until 9 p.m. (central time) Monday, April 25th. Please check back to see if you've won and to claim your prize!

Good luck to all, and happy reading!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Interview Goodies

It's Wednesday, and usually I have an author interview lined up today, but this is as off week. Which is sad, because you'll have to wait until NEXT week to see which of our three interviewers author Saundra Mitchell takes on, but allows me to discuss a few interesting details with you.

1. I was interviewed today over at Blame It On The Muse. Feel free to go forth and comment!

2. I've decided to move the author interviews in a new direction. Starting soon, I will do an interview every other week and give that author two weeks of time on the blog. One week for the interview and signed book giveaway, and one for a Take Five list with the author and a giveaway of a one-of-a-kind piece of swag created just for the readers of this blog. This benefits everyone!

  • You get two weeks of exposure to awesome authors and their books instead of just one.
  • The one-of-a-kind swag being created especially for each author's book is a cool fan perk no one else is offering.
  • Each author gets to spend a little more time being accessible to their readers.
  • I free up some badly needed time now that my writing schedule is getting even more hectic. (Each author interview takes a couple of hours to pull together).
I've already booked up the month of June using this format and HOLY COW, you don't want to miss it. Lilith Saintcrow will be giving away an entire signed set of her Jill Kismet books (adult paranormal) and I have a jewelry designer working on a one-of-a-kind necklace representing Jill. Then, Myra McEntire will be giving away a signed copy of her amazing debut novel HOURGLASS, and I'm having my jewelry designer make a steampunk hourglass necklace for one lucky reader.

I'm looking forward to trying this new format and offering my readers the excitement of accessible authors, awesome book giveaways, and truly unique swag pieces no other reader will ever own. For now, feel free to hop over and read my interview answers (wherein I give some of the best writing advice EVER. Pay attention to #10. That's all I'm saying.) and tune in next week for Saundra Mitchell's interview!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Baby Update!


I haven't posted any baby updates in a while, so I thought I'd take a minute to share. As you can see from the pic above (taken last week), she's a happy, healthy little girl. She adores her brothers, thinks dog food is a fabulous snack when she can sneak it, and walks everywhere now. She babbles often, and has assigned a few words to things, but even though she doesn't really talk yet, she can understand us and follow directions. Amazing, considering she's only been around the English language now for 5 months.

Yesterday, when I walked in the door from work, she saw me, lit up with a huge smile, and toddled over to me as fast as her chubby little legs could carry her so she could wrap her arms around my knee. It was one of the best moments of my life.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Spawning! Smoke Screens! & Menopause!

1. Sadly, the shoe pictured above? Totally real. For sale. Touted as one of the haute styles of the season.

2. Consider me out of fashion, then, because I wouldn't wear those things unless you paid me good money to do so.

3. I might, however wear these:


4. Okay, no. I wouldn't. But I would totally admire anyone who did.

5. Enough about shoes! On to today's list.

6. The other night, Starshine and Princess J were playing in the living room.

7. Princess J thought they were playing chase. Starshine thought they were playing James Bond.

8. Princess J was closing in when Starshine shouted, "Behold, my smoke screen!", turned his back, and farted.

9. Princess J was undeterred by either his smoke screen or his bodily functions, but he did manage to make me leave the room.

10. A few nights after that, Clint and I were sitting in the living room talking when Starshine ran by us screaming "I'm spawning! I'm spawning!"

11. We looked at each other and said, "Dear God, I hope not."

12. I thought I had a decent transition from that story to this, but alas, it fell apart on me.

13. My hubby has a death wish.

14. No, he hasn't been making friends with Beth Revis. He learned his lesson by watching me.

15. Is he playing in traffic? Consorting with unsavory types at odd hours of the night? Eating the cafeteria's mystery meat?

16. Worse. Much worse.

17. The other day, I'd had 3 hours of sleep the night before and that always makes me feel sluggish and kind of sick. I happened to mention to Clint that I kept feeling overheated and ugh.

18. And my loving, intelligent hubby looked across at me and said these fateful words:

19. "Maybe it's menopause."

20. My voice sounded sort of like a bullmoose on crack as I bellowed "WHAT?!!?!"

21. He tried to make things better by saying "You know, because of your age. It's not a bad thing."

22. I am 37. I am NOT in menopause. How do I know? Because he's still breathing.

23. I think we all know I have a rather sensitive gag reflex. There was the time I gagged because the eye doctor rolled my eyelid up with a stick. And the well-known fact that if I smell the nastiness that is green beans, I gag on that as well.

24. I can't tell you how many times my co-workers have shoved green beans in my direction so they could have their first laugh of the day. (Green beans are one of my restaurant's specialties)

25. And while I can handle stories of blood, guts, and gore with aplomb, I do not deal well with stories that involve creepy crawlies going into one's mouth.

26. *pause for gagging*

27. So when a co-worker told me a story the other day about eating termites, I gagged.

28. And then, I asked the obvious: WHY?

29. I mean, I get it if you're Survivorman and that's your only option. But he lives in Nashville. Where there are grocery stores. With sources of protein that don't include bugs.

30. He told me it was because his father-in-law didn't think he'd do it, so he ate them to spite him.

31. I asked the next obvious question: Are you sure YOU eating TERMITES actually caused your father-in-law the sort of grief you hoped to accomplish?

32. Because it seems to me the person eating the bugs got the short end of the stick no matter which way you look at it.

33. Speaking of bugs, we all know I'm afraid of moths. (I know, I know... weird.)

34. Butterflies are moths. They ARE. They might be beautiful and colorful, but they have the same grotesque elongated bug body and fluttering wings.

35. So the other day when I was sitting in one of the manager's offices making a phone call, and she plucked a beautiful butterfly magnet from her stash of "Things To Torture C.J."  and put it right in front of my nose, I nearly screamed.

36. It wasn't a magnet that looked like an artist's interpretation of a butterfly.

37. It was a magnet that looked like a real butterfly somehow got a magnet stuck to its belly.

38. I shot across the room and waved my manager away from me. In silence, of course, because I was on the phone.

39. She frowned and said, "But it's a butterfly."

40. Like that would somehow make me like it more.

41. When she realized I truly did not find joy in the freaky little thing, she put it away.

42. *sigh*

43. I realize I'm very strange.

44. In fact, I freely admit it.

45. I am not, however, in menopause.

46. Tune in on Wednesday to learn about some exciting changes to the author interviews! And keep a weather eye on the blog this week because, believe it or not, I nearly died. Again. Because of my nose.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Winner of THE LOST SAINT


Thank you to all who entered the contest to win a signed copy of Bree Despain's THE LOST SAINT. If you didn't win this time, be sure to snag your own copy next time you're browsing a bookstore. You won't regret reading this series!  As always, I used random.org to generate the winner. And the winner is

Zara

Congratulations, Zara! Please send me your mailing info (my email is on my About page) and I'll forward it on to Bree. Thanks again for entering and happy reading!

Harry Potter Trailer & More!

The final trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 has been released, and I'm not going to lie. I get choked up every ti...