Tuesday, May 29, 2007

How To Get Thrown Out Of A Volleyball Game

1. Give a friendly "hello" to the ref sitting up in his tiny silver chair above the net.

2. Assume that ref pays constant attention to the location of the volleyball at all times.

3. Spend entire time before game starts practicing only underhand serves so as to save your thunder for the game.

4. Assume that ref pays constant attention to the location of the volleyball at all times.

5. Serve underhand only at your first turn as server. This lulls the opposing team into a sense of complacency.

6. Assume that ref pays constant attention to the location of the volleyball at all times.

7. Believe coach knows what he's talking about when he tells you to serve overhand next turn.

8. Assume that ref pays constant attention to the location of the volleyball at all times.

9. Obey coach and serve overhand: use extreme care (some might call it timidity but they would be wrong) knowing that you do not yet have full control over your serve. Drive ball into net three times in a row and lose turn. This also lulls the opposing team into a sense of complacency.

10. Assume that ref pays constant attention to the location of the volleyball at all times.

11. Acknowledge coach's stern admonishment to put some POWER into your next turn as server.

12. Assume that ref pays constant attention to the location of the volleyball at all times.

13. Put POWER into your overhand serve.

14. Assume that ref pays constant attention to the location of the volleyball at all times.

15. Watch in horror as the volleyball slams into the ref's face and knocks him flying out of his little silver chair.

16. Discover that previously mentioned assumption was wrong.

17. Discover that the word "Wilson" does not look good as a raised welt on a referee's face.

18. Accept less than polite invitation to warm the bench for the rest of the game.

And that is how to get thrown out of a volleyball game. (Um, not that I know any of this from personal experience...)

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