Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from November, 2008

Oookaaay

Today, I read this article discussing a new initiative the Swiss recently voted into law which authorizes government dispensed heroin to heroin addicts. Never mind the jaw-dropping idea of taxpayers and health insurance money funding heroin addictions--the part I found fascinating was the fact that the voters, who overwhelmingly approved the initiative, also voted down an initiative to make marijuana legal.

*scratches head*

Soooo, marijuana use is taboo, but heroin you're okay with? And yes, I get that the idea behind the program is to somehow minimize the addict's craving with regulated doses without producing a big high so they can learn to function in society despite their addiction, but seriously...am I the only one who thinks the obvious pitfall here is that addicts want the high and will take the regulated doses and then go find more on their own? It's like joining weight watchers, eating sugar-free cookies at the meeting, and then hauling your jiggly behind through th…

35 Good Reasons

Today my hubby turned 35. To honor his birthday (especially since we barely saw each other today!), I've decided to make a list of 35 reasons why he's absolutely wonderful.

1. He repainted the entire downstairs (4 different coats for the dining room before I was happy with the color scheme) without (much) complaint.

2. When I said I'd start working days to help our bank account, his first response was "But what about your writing?"

3. Speaking of writing, he believes in me completely.

4. He's loyal.

5. He makes me laugh.

6. He understands and shares my near obsession with Batman: The Dark Knight.

7. He's incredibly talented. (Hello?? Cake anyone?)

8. He likes to really discuss movies and books.

9. He does most of the driving so I don't have to. (Or so he doesn't have to ask me to slow down...)

10. He gives of his time and resources to anyone who needs him without thinking twice.

11. He'll do laundry when asked.

12. He plays with his kids.

13. He never take…

Shhh...

I've noticed that a few of you have voted on my most recent poll to see more of Juan Pedro on this blog. I agree that our metallic friend has been notably absent the last few months. The blame for this can be laid directly at Paul's feet.

Paul moved thirty minutes north of me. He took Juan Pedro with him. I've asked, even begged, for JP pics to no avail.

Tonight, Paul and Kelly leave town for the entire weekend. *cackles and rubs hands together in glee*

I have a house key.

Here's the plan: I'm going to sneak into their condo, abscond with Juan Pedro, and take him on some wild adventures before Paul goes on a rampage to reclaim his property.

Of course I'll keep a detailed pictorial record of the entire thing.

Stay tuned...

Random, Ridiculous, & Sentimental

My List of What I'm Thankful For This Year:

1. My hard-working, supportive, talented husband.

2. My creative, loving, interesting, death-defying boys.

3. A kitchen with plenty of counter space.

4. My Pixie Chicks.

5. My CPs: Katy, Keli, Kris, Courtney (WHAT? No 'K'?)

6. Mashed potatoes made from scratch.

7. Food fights.

8. Really good books.

9. Agents who are both professional and generous with their time.

10. Amazing movies.

11. Peach pie.

12. My country.

13. My iPod.

14. Incredible friends (Paul, Kelly, Derreck, Tricia, Luke, Sandy...and others too numerous to list here)

15. Music I love

16. My imagination

17. The ability to write well

18. Oatmeal cookies

19. Everyone who has contributed toward our adoption fund

20. Flavored coffee drinks

21. My sense of humor

22. My cat

23. Christmas

24. The fact that my family has clean water and plenty of food

25. My church

*Yes, I noticed the inordinate number of food-related items on this list. I also noticed the lack of goats.*

Get Me Started! - #3

*From Kerry Allen's first sentence.*

As I lay dying in a stew of my own blood and guts, she had only this to say: "The profanity is uncalled for."

I rolled my eyes and slammed the book shut, barely resisting the urge to fling it across the room. Whether it was the implausibility of the plot, or the fact that I could barely sit still, this novel wasn't going to cut it. Not today.

I needed thirty minutes--an hour tops--where I could climb beneath someone else's skin and breathe without pain. Without uncertainty. Without the cloying smell of antiseptic unsuccessfully trying to mask the stench of approaching death.

The orange vinyl chair, stiff and creased with use, squeaked beneath me as I leaned forward to place the book beside the water pitcher and the vase of yellow daffodils, their sunny faces pretending cheerfulness that suddenly seemed obscene.

Careful not to look at the woman huddled on the bed, anchored to this world with cords and tubes, I snatched the vase and …

Useful Site

I'm adding Query Tracker to the list of Writer's Resource links on the sidebar. It's a site (approved by P&E and other reputable sites in the publishing world) where you can look up agents/agencies, see how they like their submissions and if they're accepting queries, read comments and feedback from other authors who've queried them, and keep track of when you send queries and the responses you get.

It's nice to have all that info in one place.

A Fishnet In A Pear Tree

1. This weekend I noticed several homes in my neighborhood have their outside Christmas lights up already.

2. I am surrounded by over-achievers.

3. I can assure you, our lights won't be up for a while.

4. Our school district threw in the towel this year and gave the kids the entire week of Thanksgiving off.

5. They're thrilled.

6. I'm trying to type this blog while Starshine watches a Backyardigans movie.

7. There are more mind-numbing options, of course, but at the moment, it's hard to think of any.

8. Last night, I fixed SF's synopsis and queried four more agents.

9. Today, after doing laundry and excavating the Scientist's bedroom, I'll write a bare-bones synopsis for Twisting Fate and send my Golden Heart entry out.

10. I took Starshine on a grocery-shopping trip Saturday--the boys think that's a treat because they get one on one time with me.

11. We stopped at McDonald's for lunch (his choice, not mine!) and they had huge Christmas ornaments hanging fr…

Shiny New Laptop Fairies DO Exist. Right?

Current mood: Tired, longing for bed.
Currently playing on my iPod: "Stranger Than Fiction" by Five Finger Death Punch

1. I have my laptop back now and though it still doesn't always want to acknowledge when it's plugged in, it's much better than it was and I have hope it will hold out until the Shiny New Laptop Fairy visits.

2. Yes, there's a Shiny New Laptop Fairy.

3. No, you may not burst my bubble.

4. I was told recently that I have nice, tight eyelids.

5. ...

6. In the realm of Potential Compliments, I admit this is one that never crossed my mind.

7. I suppose I should be grateful after three kids that something on me still qualifies for the "nice, tight" description.

8. My To Do list for the next three days is a scary beast with jagged little teeth.

9. Any blog readers live near Pelican Bay prison in California? Del Norte County, near Crescent City...I need weather, foliage, and basic scent and atmosphere descriptions for Twisting Fate.

10. I really don&…

Top Ten

I found an article tonight listing the top 100 comedic movies of all time. Actually, I think it was more like the top 130. I don't know when it was last updated but it must have been before this summer since Get Smart! didn't make the list.

Here are the top ten (in someone's opinion):

1. Duck Soup
2. Some Like It Hot
3. Monty Python & the Holy Grail
4. Airplane!
5. Dr. Strangelove
6. Blazing Saddles
7. What's Up, Doc?
8. National Lampoon's Animal House
9. A Night At The Opera
10. The Odd Couple

I'll freely admit I'm not the most up-to-date on my movies so it's possible I haven't got a clue what I'm talking about, but this list surprised me. I guess because I love intelligent humor mixed with slapstick so stuff like National Lampoon and Airplane! gets a few chuckles but starts annoying me pretty fast. Loved Some Like It Hot and The Odd Couple and Monty Python is, of course, a shining example of British genius (and I do love British humor).

Any thoughts? M…

Must. Stop. Twitch.

I swear there aren't enough hours in the day to make finishing my To Do list even a remote possibility. I'm hoping my laptop will be fixed and in my hot little hands again tomorrow night so my Internet-free mornings will be a thing of the past.

Today my right eye developed a twitch. Most annoying. I chalk this development up to the following things:

1. Being without my laptop since Friday night thus causing me to be unable to access my submission packet for Shadowing Fate, fix my SF synopsis, dive into my previously brainstormed ideas for Twisting Fate, do critiques on material saved on my laptop, blog daily, or answer email consistently as the hours I have slotted and available for online time are in the morning when my hubby has his own laptop with him at work.

2. The woman who walked up to me at work and informed me that she'd had "the diarrhea" and I would need to go clean the bathroom.

3. Every single person who thinks joking with their waitress about not wantin…

Belligerent Technology vs. Horrendous Mom

1. My Monday post is waaaay late but I have an excellent excuse.

2. In the continuing saga of Technology Hates C.J., my laptop refuses to turn on.

3. It isn't a virus this time. The hole where I plug the cord in refuses to acknowledge the presence of the cord, no matter how many times I threaten its mother.

4. Hence, the battery refused to charge and now it's dead.

5. I'd blog from my office computer but it recently went on an Internet strike and even though everything says it's online, it really isn't.

6. So, I'm stuck waiting for a chance to borrow my hubby's laptop after he's finished with it.

7. Good times.

8. In other news, Starshine asked me today (apropos of nothing but sheer Starshiney-ness) "Mom, why do some girls go around acting like they're sooo fabulous? They just walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, and walk some more and think they're fabulous."

9. Me: "Well, if they aren't fabulous, what are they?"

10. Starshine: &q…

You Might Be My Next Corpse

1. When I informed my children that I'd finished Shadowing Fate, Daredevil jumped up and down and said "WoooHooo! We're rich!"

2. Ah, to be that young and naive again.

3. Last night, I hosted a candle party. I'd booked the party through a consultant I'd never met face to face.

4. The party was fun, the consultant was great, and then as we were sitting around my table chatting while my friends ate pie and browsed catalogs, I glanced at the the label on my own catalog--the one listing the consultant's full name--and realized why her name looked so familiar.

5. I'd borrowed it (without remembering where I'd seen it) for one of the victims in Shadowing Fate.

6. I started laughing and told her, "I'm so sorry! There's a corpse with your last name in my latest novel."

7. She thought it was pretty cool.

8. So much for thinking I'd pulled that particular name out of thin air.

9. The moral of this tale, of course, is that if I know you, I mig…

Snort Goat Eyeballs Idiot

Yes, it's that time again. What interesting, odd, or downright disturbing google searches brought new readers to this blog?

1. what are some three letter words for the word death: Die. That's pretty much all I've got for you.

2. final fantasy 7 kris kennedy: lol I'm going to have to ask my friend and CP if she plays final fantasy in between writing novels and raising her son. Perhaps she's holding out on me?

3. caffeine bad steroids: If you've taken bad steroids, the last thing you need chasing them through your system is caffeine. Unless, of course, you've always had a yen for losing complete control of your vocal chords, your temper, and your flimsy grasp on common sense.

4. out of gas idiot: I'm a bit unclear as to the purpose of this particular google search. The phrase seems pretty self-explanatory. It is nice, though, that every time someone googles ANY phrase with the word idiot, they invariably end up here.

5. procrastination dying last words: Some…

You Can Take My Dad's Money! I Promise!

1. In case you missed the post below this one (the one with ALL CAPS FOR A TITLE), Shadowing Fate is finished and in the hands of the agents who requested it.

2. I did heavy revisions, mostly because a really cool (and very twisted) plot idea came to me--one that would carry through the entire series--and I had to go back and work it in.

3. The end product is hands down the best work I've ever done. I'm so excited to share it with others!

4. I wrote like a crazy woman this weekend with literally about 10 hours of sleep over the course of three days.

5. *wanders off to collapse*

6. This weekend, I'm teaching a Query Writing workshop at my local RWA chapter meeting, so I'm going to start pulling together material for that.

7. In March of 2009, I'll be teaching an online week long course in query writing, so will pull from much of the same material.

8. I think hands-on learning is best, so my workshops are geared toward making sure everyone leaves with a working query letter…

It's Perfectly Simple

Current Mood: Anticipating the weekend

Playing on the iPod: "Indestructible" by Disturbed

1. Tonight, I gave Starshine explicit instructions after dinner: "Go upstairs, brush your teeth for TWO MINUTES, then get in bed and do your reading."

2. Starshine managed the first, then got sidetracked with the idea of messing around with Daredevil in my bathroom (Daredevil's explicit instructions included taking a shower.)

3. This required me to go upstairs and intervene to get everyone back on track. I shooed Daredevil into the shower, then turned to Starshine and said, "Go brush your teeth."

4. He replied, "Okay, but first I have to destroy Massachusetts."

5. Of course.

6. However, Starshine learned a valuable lesson: Dental Hygiene and Appropriate Bedtimes trump plans for World Domination (everyone knows you have to conquer Massachusetts to get anywhere) every time.

7. I was awarded an "I Love Your Blog" nomination from one of my readers (Chiron…

Hoist The Bobble Heads!

I've decided the undergarment industry could do with some "Change We Can Believe In" campaigns of their own. For starters, I'd like at least one company to realize that gravity is a harsh mistress who attacks more than just the breasts.

Furthermore, my breasts are not the only things than need lifting and separating. There's the matter of my derriere. Also, I believe I'm passing the point where the lifting and separating of my breasts is any kind of solution at all.

Separation is no longer a problem. It's corralling them both into a semblance of their original position and then holding them there that causes difficulty. And I don't need a garment that promises lift. I need one that is prepared to hoist.

I need NASA to take on the undergarment world. I figure if NASA can master g-force and rocket thrust, break through our atmosphere and defy gravity, they ought to be able to design a bra that makes me look like my breasts aren't going south for the w…

Voting, Public Service Announcements, & Cake

1. I think it's cool that my local bookstore is giving away free drinks from their coffee shop to anyone who votes today.

2. Unfortunately, by the time I work all day, then stand in line to vote, then run home to make dinner...I won't have the time or energy to run out for coffee. :)

3. Worked on more revisions last night. Most of it is little stuff now. Just a few plot points to clean up.

4. I've opened a new doc and am copying and pasting each chapter, reading through it, making any corrections, then moving on.

5. I didn't use this method for polishing up DTR, but then again, I barely revised DTR, more's the pity.

6. I'll be entering SF in the Golden Heart this year, though I don't know if I can attend the conference ... might conflict with our trip to China.

7. I've asked my hubby to make a castle cake for me for my birthday.

8. He seems less than thrilled with that prospect.

9. Perhaps if I offer to pay?

10. I need to take a trip to Chicago sometime in the …

Get Me Started! - #2

*From Jen's first sentence.*

Some days, life hands you roses. Other days it manhandles you, bludgeons you over the head, then dumps you face first in the crapper.

This day was shaping up to be the latter. Not that many of my days recently have been anything to write home about--as if Dad would let Mom open my letters--but still, on a Days I'd Love To Erase scale of one to ten, this one was heading for twenty.

Fast.

It all started at seven a.m. with the goat. Not that my useless boss, so far into a bottle of Jack Daniels he could've given a brewery a run for its money on smell alone, didn't contribute. And I'm not discounting the obnoxious blonde with her I Took Out A Loan The Size of Kentucky breasts. Her little rat-dog holds a fair amount of responsibility too.

Still, at the heart of my problems lurked a barnyard animal with horizontal eyes, teeth the size of nickels--all the better to rip your Coach handbag apart, my dear!--and zero respect for anyone's personal s…

Want Me To Test Drive A Mustang For 7 Years?

Yesterday, I mentioned on my facebook status (Hot Tamales!) and on a Twitter update (Yes, I've finally caved and am on Twitter. Please do NOT expect me to ever utter the asinine statement "I'm twittering." That's not a verb.) ... where was I? Oh, yes, I mentioned that I don't think I actually like Jordan Almonds (Chanel Pistol Heels!) all that much, but I find them addicting.

I think it's the crunch and the combination (Hot Tamales!) of sweet and nut. I don't know. I don't think I care. (Chanel Pistol Heels!) I'm pretty sure you care even less.



Anyway, I got an email from someone who does marketing (Hot Tamales!) for ohnuts candy company wanting to send me free samples of Jordan Almonds so I could review them on my blog. I browsed their site, (Chanel Pistol Heels!) found two flavors of Jordan Almonds that looked interesting (cappuccino and cinnamon) and agreed.

Then my devious mind (Hot Tamales!) began scheming...are other marketers googling th…

Shredded Cabbage, Anyone?

1. We have 543 pieces of candy in our house.

2. 543. Starshine and I counted them this morning.

3. That's obscene.

4. What's especially obscene is that a few misguided souls in our neighborhood thought Raisinets were an acceptable Halloween offering.

5. Raisins, little dried up globs of grape, are not candy. Not even if they're partially disguised with a chocolate coating. Or, perhaps, especially if they're partially disguised with a chocolate coating.

6. Although, that's hardly the worst thing I've ever seen plopped into an unwitting trick-or-treater's bag. One year, my gym teacher gave all of us a sandwich baggie full of raw broccoli.

7. That's an excellent way to get one's home egged.

8. Not that I ever did anything like that.

9. I'm in the final re-arrange, edit, polish stage for Shadowing Fate.

10. I'm very excited about the finished manuscript. It rocks.

11. In my humble opinion.

12. I'm scheduled for 34 hours at work this week.

13. Yay! for …