Wednesday, April 4, 2007

ABC's, Southern Style

Thanks to Malystryx for the idea.

A is for alligator in your swimming pool, your sewer, or your stew

B is for "bless her heart", big hair, and beer

C is for country music, cow pies, and chicken livers fried

D is for dixie land

E is for Extreme Sports: 30 year old rednecks with a keg, dynamite, and an available sewer. Good times!

F is for furriner - anyone north of Tennesse or west of the Mason-Dixon line

G is for grits, gravy, and gun racks on every truck

H is for humidity the likes of which the rest of the country has never seen

I is for interpreter: what you need to understand people in the deep South

J is for Jack Daniels (Mr. Daniels if you're a furriner)

K is for Krispy Kreme

L is for livestock traffic reports (problems with poultry on Hwy 40...) and lawnmowers with v-8 engines.

M is for mosquitos the size of golf balls and Mullets (the always fashionable hair style of choice for the style-conscious redneck)

N is for NASCAR

O is for okra (okri if you're really backwoods)

P is for Piggly Wiggly, pecan pie, and pass the gravy

Q is for quantity (big hair, big families, big attitude)

R is for redneck (known by their accent and their fine assortment of broken down appliances displayed to best advantage on their front lawn)

S is for sweet tea

T is for turnip greens

U is for "U better get off my property, boy, before I reload my shotgun. I won't miss a second time."

V is for vinegar, required condiment for greens

W is for wild turkeys (by the dozens), the War of Northern Aggression, and Walmart

X is for xenophone (the inherent distrust southerners have of furriners from places like Idaho and Michigan)

Y is for "ya'll come back now, you hear?"

Z is for zig-zag, the pattern you must run to avoid a redneck's shotgun blast.

If I missed anything, feel free to add it with a comment!

4 comments:

  1. "and chicken livers fried"...I totally agree, and Im not even from the south. Whats wrong with that? haha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Honestly, if you don't know what's wrong with eating deep fried organs whose sole purpose is to process WASTE and turn it into EXCREMENT, I really don't know what to say.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's good! I forgot one.

    F is for "fixin' to"

    ReplyDelete

People who comment are made of awesomesauce with a side of WIN!

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails