As you learned in Disaster: Part One, I now owned a gold lame thong (along with other undies in various styles, colors, and stages of use...most were new, in my Mom's defense). What you don't know is that my Mom sent not one, but TWO. Double trouble.
I packed them away in my underwear drawer and forgot all about it. (Those of you who know me well are shocked, I realize, that I didn't immediately jump on the opportunity to wear gold lame. I assure you, I have no quarrel with the fabric. It's dramatic. I love drama. It's the thought of wearing dental floss as an undergarment that throws. me. I don't wear anything that has to be surgically removed should I be unfortunate enough to bend over.)
One morning, as I woke later than usual for my teaching job. It was still dark outside as I snatched a pair of underwear and an outfit and hastily ran out the door. Yes, you guessed it, I grabbed the gold lame thong.
I was somewhat uncomfortable with my underwear choice but didn't have time to change it (besides, I was a little behind on laundry *euphamism for absolutely no other underwear clean* so my options were limited).
It wasn't until fourth period (FOUR CLASSES INTO MY DAY) that I clued in to the fact that I was wearing WHITE pants. White pants plus flashy gold and black lame thong.
That explained all the strange looks in my direction.
I didn't live that one down either.
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