Saturday, July 7, 2007

Revised Again!

Earlier, I posted a revised beginning to Alexa. Several readers commented, either on this blog or through email. I listened to your comments (which ranged from "LOVE the new one, much better" to "Hated it, want the old one back"). I decided to do a hybrid of the two.

My goal is to keep a fast-paced, suspensful tone while incorporating Alexa's voice in an opening that flows smoothly. Let me know what you think of this one.


Evil has a voice all its own. It sounds like insatiable greed, impotent rage, and terrible grief blended into one throbbing hunger for power. To the best of my knowledge, I am the only one who hears it. It haunts me, compelling me to make it silent.

I have no control over the fact that I can hear the worst people have to offer. I do, however, have complete control over my wardrobe. Few things are as thrilling as hunting down evil in a kicking pair of four-inch stilettos. I never know when the need to hunt will strike and the fact that I can wipe the pavement with a man twice my size while wearing heels is a pretty satisfactory bonus. It’s like being Wonder Woman without all that tacky spandex.

It’s not as crazy as it sounds.

Why else would I be clinging to the side of an old brick apartment building on Fifth Avenue wearing a little red dress and a gorgeous pair of leopard print Manolo Blahnik stilettos?


  1. I like this merge. It sets you up for thinking you're about to enter a dark fantasy type thing and then you lighten the mood with the fact that she can control her wardrobe without making it seem out of place and it matches her voice from before which is weird considering what they were talking about.

  2. *nods* That works! You found a good spot for that other sentence that fits in much better that previously.

  3. Thank you both. I like this one better too. Appreciate the feedback.

  4. Love it. If I picked up a book and read the first page (and I always do before I buy), I'd buy this.


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