Sometimes I Wonder

Some of life's deeper questions:

1. Why is there braille on drive up ATM machines?

2. Why does McDonald's have a sign saying "Picture Menus Available Upon Request"?

3. Why do my children wake me up to tell me they are using the bathroom?

4. Why does my cat believe all fur balls should be regurgitated on my side of the bed in the middle of the night?

5. What is the point of goats? Really?

6. Why get tattoed on an area of your body that hundreds of generations of women before you have proven will sag below your belt before you turn 75? Unless, of course, the tattoo is of Gumby, in which case, it will make perfect sense.

7. What possesses my children to store already chewed gum in the refrigerator?

8. Or on their wall?

9. Or next to the bathroom sink?

10. Or on the dog?

11. Why does Taco Bell's drive-through have a sign stating "If You Can't Read English, Ask For Assistance"?

12. Does anyone really need to read English to order from Taco Bell?

13. Why are there 7 different types of apples but only 2 types of lemon?

14. Can anyone tell the difference between one lemon and the other?

15. Does anyone care?

16. Why does chicken poop smell so much worse than the poop of other fowl?

17. Why are my children unable to remember to flush a toilet until it has been used to the point of no return?

18. Why is my husband unable to wield a plunger when faced with a toilet brimming full of little boy deposits?

19. Why can't our planet lose a few species of moths along with the recently extinct species of white-winged sandpiper or stumptoothed minnow?

20. Could JJ Abrams be the next generation's Lucas?

I've had 4 hours of sleep. It's late. This looks interesting tonight. It's highly possible I'll wonder what I was thinking when I reread this in the morning.

Until then.