1. Collect all dirty laundry, sort, and wash.
2. Carefully remove all spare change, silly putty, dead beetles, legos, and wrappers from the pack of gum all boys swore they never touched from all pockets.
3. Go back through boys' rooms and collect another entire load of dirty clothes from under the beds, behind the dressers, on top of the stereo, and hanging from the ceiling fan.
4. Discipline mind to refuse to consider the origins of most of the stains found in the laundry.
5. Clean the kitchen - load dishwasher, wash counters, wash pots and pans.
6. Spend 3 pointless minutes wondering how peanutbutter could possibly be smeared across the blinds, the wall, and the baseboard.
7. Spend another 3 minutes being accutely thankful the brown substance on the blinds, the wall, and the baseboard really is peanutbutter.
8. Finish kitchen just in time for every child to wander in bearing another three dishes out of their rooms.
9. Realize that over half of those will need to be soaked in some sort of acid to break through whatever substance boys manage to create on their plates.
10. Don hazmet suit.
11. Clean boys' bathroom.
12. Wonder for the 50,000th time why in the world boys can't be bothered with the simple mechanics of flushing.
13. Realize that at this point, the mechanics of flushing are no longer simple.
14. Refuse to contemplate the suspicious substance on the wall beside the tolet paper.
15. Refuse to contemplate any suspicious substance in the entire bathroom. Period.
16. Disinfect every toothbrush.
17. Disinfect every sink.
18. Disinfect every inch.
19. Discover additional load of laundry in the bathtub. Refuse to wonder why dirty clothing is kept in a bathtub.
20. Have more cake just to keep sanity.
21. Realize that half the day is gone.
22. Decide housework dues has been more than paid.
23. Write two songs and scrap an entire chapter of Alexa.
24. Wish for someone taller than four feet to talk to.
25. Decide in present mood, conversation might be asking a tad much.
26. Plan to spend the rest of Monday writing, taking kiddos to the pool, and studiously ignoring the ironing.