Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Mid-Week Madness

1. I am excited about the series of posts on writing. It's a fun challenge for myself and seems to be grabbing the interest of several readers, which is always nice.

2. The yeast rolls at Logan's are of the devil.

3. Paul has been driving my sexy '94 Dodge Caravan (yes, the one Juan Pedro nabbed for his night on the town) for about three weeks now while his car was on the fritz.

4. Now he's decided to sell his car and buy a car that used to be an undercover cop car. (Who knew he'd be drawn to that?!)

5. Last night I told him I really wanted to drive an undercover cop car and I wanted to use it for three weeks in payment of him using my van.

6. Naturally, he balked at the idea, perfectly reasonable though it was.

7. He said he'd let me drive his car sometimes. Translation: You can drive it while I'm in the passenger seat making sure you don't do anything stupid like, oh I don't know, flash the lights and make people pull over left and right just so you can get to work on time.

8. Right. Like I made sure he was driving my van under constant supervision.

9. No deal.

10. I explained that this was how he could repay my generosity in loaning him my 9-4.

11. He couldn't argue the point so we began negotiations.

12. He wanted to drive the car for a little while, to savor its newness, and then loan it to me for a few days.

13. Did I tell him I'd like to drive my van for a little while longer to savor its, umm, unique character before loaning it?

14. No I did not.

15. He argued that three weeks was too long.

16. Who has been stuck at home these past three weeks with no vehicle during the day?

17. Me.

18. Still, I was generous enough to amend my offer to two weeks instead of three.

19. He said three days.

20. I said one week, final offer.

21. The agony on his face was easy to read. Buy a new car, one that still looks like an undercover cop car, and immediately loan it to C.J. and continue to drive the 9-4? Untenable. Unless one factors in the fact that Paul thinks he owes me for my generosity.

22. He agreed.

23. I then had the pleasure of yelling "April Fools!!!" and watching the mingled relief and irritation cross his face.

24. Mostly relief.

25. There are two lessons to be learned from this:

1. I do not expect "payment" for a gift freely given.

2. Do not play poker with me for I am skilled in the art of The Bluff.


  1. The whole time I'm gripping a switch-blade in my pocket thinking of the best place to end you so you won't get anymore crazy ideas. =)

    Kidding. I really will let you drive it...

    While I'm in it...

    One hand on the wheel...

    Under my command...

    Around the neighborhood. =)

  2. Oh don't you dare mister!

    You hurt my CJ and I'll fly out to TN looking for you. The results won't be pretty. :P


  3. Ha! I not only have minions, I have partners who are skilled in kung fu.

    Better watch your step...

    Oh, and p.s. If you ever grab the wheel while I'm driving, no matter whose car it is, I will bite your hand off. =)


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