Wednesday, May 21, 2008
"I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay!" - Everybody! Sing with me!
What - not a Monty Python fan? *sniffs* Well then go away and I shall taunt you a second time. This post will be rife with MP references...hie thyself to the nearest Blockbuster and enhance thy comedic education.
My hubby, though not a lumberjack per say, decided to channel one this weekend while doing yardwork. We had a tree in our backyard that died sometime over the winter months.
I say "had" because my hubby decided to remove it this weekend.
This was fine with me, but I was curious to see what method of removal he would choose. Last time he became irritated with innocent foliage, I heard the lawnmower engine revving and came outside to see him cackling (no, no...it wasn't laughter. I distinctly heard "cackling") as he mowed down four small shrubs that, up until that moment, he'd always had to weave around while mowing.
He got tired of weaving and just took them out. Sopranos style.
I didn't think our lawnmower could survive a run in with a tree (even a small, dead tree) but I didn't exactly put it past my hubby to try.
My fears were all for naught as he stepped outside - looking sane, minus the cackling - holding a hacksaw.
How much damage could he possibly do with a hacksaw? (those of you who regularly watch horror flicks need not answer that)
My hubby hacked, dug, lugged, and otherwise disposed of the tree and somewhere along the way he discovered a little known law of physics. It's the Law of Deforestation which states that once a man has a hacksaw in hand and branches to cut, he will not stop hacking and chopping and maiming...err, I mean cutting until his wife walks out the door and catches him in the act.
The dead tree was gone. But there were other trees in the yard. None of them were technically dead yet (I'm feeling better! I think I'd like to go for a walk!) but still...
There was a tree that irritated him whenever he mowed.
It's gone now.
And there were branches that seemed just a little low.
They're gone now too.
And then were two kind of scraggly bushes along the front of the house. (Bring me a shrubbery!)
Yup, you guessed it. Gone.
He was exhilarated. He was a man, doing what men do! He was one with his hacksaw, taming his patch of the planet ...
Until I ventured outside to view his progress. Now his hacksaw has something in common with the trees...