Tonight I went grocery shopping and stood in front of the cookie display in the bakery section for several minutes, staring at the package of cookies in front of me, trying to figure out why anyone would make Chocolate Liver cookies.
I mean, I don't eat chocolate so I know I'm not an expert on what chocolate can and cannot do but even I know that the magical properties of chocolate are not enough to redeem an organ whose sole function is to process waste into poop.
I thought it must be someone's idea of a sick joke but I had to admit, the cookies were a rich, dark brown so...
Then I thought it might be the latest fad diet. Get your protein and your sugar fix in one low-fat, disgusting little package!
I was all set to grab a package, march over to the baker counter, and get to the bottom of it when some latent anti-idiocy gene suddenly flared to life and I decided to take another look.
I leaned closer, blinked my bleary eyes, and realized I'd missed something in my initial inspection.
Not liver. Lover.
Got it. Who knew how important one little vowel could be?
The moral of the tale is this: When I'm functioning on too little sleep and too much imagination, I have absolutely no business in a grocery store.