Friday, July 18, 2008

Cotton-Eyed Joe

Where did you come from? Where did you go?

I have a stat counter so I oughtta know.

I've had a stat counter at the bottom of this page for a while now. I don't remember to check it very often. I remember to check the actual stat counting website even less.

But tonight, I checked in and found a function that tells me what keyword search people used to land on my blog.

There are some very interesting combinations. Here are my top 10, either for amusement factor or because they're just too disturbing to keep to myself:

10. Zuchinni near sidewalk - Well, yes, I once posted about the Master Gardener and his unique zuchinni pruning method.

9. Love Jet Li - I do, yes. You too? Great! We're like, twins separated at birth or something...oh, leaving so soon?

8. Unique deli names - Honestly, people, there are WAAAAAY too many of you looking for this. Pause and think for a moment. Don't you think if you lift a name for your burdgeoning business from another deli, it loses the quality of being "unique"? Better to go to one of those name generator sites and take your chances.

7. Villain character sheet- Did I do one of those here? I'd forgotten.

6. Can a star shine brighter for a split second? - I don't have a freakin' clue. This is a literary blog. No science-type questions allowed.

5. Using newspaper on a charging bull - Listen carefully. Newspaper is no match for the horns of a bull. If you persist in thinking it is, you deserve whatever you get.

4. Which Death Eater Are You? - Voldemort, of course. If I'm going to do something, I'm bloody well going to be in charge. Which death eater are you? Clearly one who must obey me.

3. Monkey Love - Hie thee to a psychologist. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Do not mistake a veterinarian for a psychologist.

2. Telephone Solicitor Murder - Soul sister, I've wanted to murder untold numbers of telephone solicitors. I feel you. However, may I suggest that leaving a search trail in your PC with the term "murder" in close association with the type of victim might not be the best method for getting away with the crime.

And my personal favorite:

1. Square, The Shape Of Evil - You are my hero. Sort of. I mean, it's totally cool that you get that reference to pop culture but really, what did you expect to find on the internet? You do realize that this view, while hilariously funny when espoused by Plankton, is not universally accepted, right? Ask any woman. Supermodel Thin is the shape of evil.


People who comment are made of awesomesauce with a side of WIN!

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