Where have I been this week? It's a toss up between being locked into the back office of the restaurant, orienting new employees to all the finer points of their new job (THAT is the bathroom you may use, THAT is the parking lot you may use, THAT is not a word you may ever use in front of the guests and Seriously? We're discussing tampons? Yes, that THWACK you heard was the sound of my head banging voluntarily against my desk.) and being locked inside the Adventure Science Center which, while having the definite advantage of being family friendly and thus giving me much-needed time with my kiddos, is also home to the Farting Slide.
Yes, that's right.
A slide. That farts. On purpose.
It's the mode of exit from one's climb through the lower intestines.
Starshine and Daredevil found it impossible to resist.
Speaking of bodily functions, Starshine has been working hard to develop a talent that he alone, out of all three boys, possesses. No, I'm not talking about communing with aliens or the ability to drop non-sequitors into any conversation.
I'm talking about being able to swallow air and then burp on command. This kid can swallow air and then forcefully expel what seems like far more air than he could ever have swallowed in the first place. Really. One little gulp and out comes the Star Spangled Banner with a side of Jesus Loves Me. Trust Starshine to be the one kid able to thumb his nose at a tried-and-true law of physics and get away with it.
As we drove home from the ASC, he burped. He belched. He answered questions with foul expulsions of air. He delivered appropriate sound-effects to his brothers' not-so-successful efforts and I had finally had ENOUGH.
I explained as much to him. ENOUGH. No more burping on demand. No more swallowing air and then conducting conversations in belches while expecting everyone around him to be suitably awed. No more demonstrations of musical ability via bodily functions at home, the grocery store, or church. Especially church.
Starshine's puzzled response: "But Mom, burping is Joy."
And yes *sigh*, he belched his answer.