Dear Considerate Neighbor,
I want to thank you for graciously allowing your miniature poop-machine to leave his smelly offerings on my property as you walked by. One would think I would be irritated, but I've reconsidered my initial ire. After all, isn't the act of letting your dog take a dump in my yard a compliment of sorts? It's like saying, "Hey! My dog likes the smell of your grass!" and who doesn't love to hear something like that? I know I do.
Taking it one step further, however, to allowing your tiny turd machine to cop a squat on my walkway, thereby ensuring I would NOT MISS the stinky little trophy on my way to my van this evening ... well, that was a stroke of genius. I mean, if the poop remained solely in the grass, at the edge of my yard, I might miss the slippery evidence of your brief, but memorable, presence in my yard. I might lose out on the opportunity to fully appreciate the incredible gall, er, I mean commitment to peaceful co-existence with one's neighbors which you so clearly have in spades.
Until tonight, I hadn't considered piles of poop on my walkway to be anything other than rude, boorish, inconsiderate behavior worthy of junior high boys and nothing more. I now realize the error of my ways.
Judging by the size of your dog's offering, he weighs a mere six pounds soaking wet. My dog is eighty pounds of Chow hound and is blessed with a very healthy appetite. As soon as I figure out which walkway belongs to you, I'll bring my dog on by to return the compliment.
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