1. One wad of (slightly used!) gum: Who wouldn't want this? It's colorful. It's unique. It looks amazing in its crystal bowl. And everyone knows germs don't live in saliva so it's totally safe!
2. An Electronic Yodelling Pickle: Because everyone knows yodelling and pickles go together like...like...like Snoop Dogg and opera!
3. Moose Poop Nugget Necklace: Because really, what girl doesn't want to accessorize with petrified animal poop?
4. Cheeseburger In A Can: When Spam just won't cut it.
5. Pistol Egg Fryer: For those who like the start their mornings with a bang.
6. Shocking Tanks: It's like laser tag with a kick! Tired of shooting at your opponent only to have him claim you never hit him? Now you can shoot your opponent and every hit scored with cause his hand-held remote to shock him! Hours of fun. Might be best if you avoid playing in the rain, however.
*My favorite part of this toy is the warning label on the package stating that the toy might not be suitable for children under the age of three due to choking hazard.*
7. Brain Gelatin Mold: For the Zombie in all of us! And yes, I'd love to own this...
8. Portable Rotary Phone: Tired of your small cell phone? Sick of using T-9 for texts? Want to carry a phone that makes a statement? Then you want the portable rotary phone! Haul this baby around with you and amaze your friends with your mad dialing skillz.
9. Insta-Poop: Be the life at every party with Insta-poop. It's wet. It's realistic. It's not at all a harbinger of death to your social life. Who doesn't love the idea of poop in a can?
*If I'd known poop was such a marketable commodity, I could've been rich from the moment my boys were born.*
10. Remote-controlled tarantulas: Because there's nothing creepy about spiders who obey your every whim.