When one is distracted by music, Twitter, and the Chow hound's obsession with a little rubber ducky and one takes a large gulp of one's drink, forgetting that one has switched from Peach Tea to Diet Coke, one should remember the following tips in coping with the surprise:
1. Do not gasp in shock.
2. If one catches oneself mid-gasp and realizes one is about to fill one's lungs with Diet Coke, one should not clamp one's throat closed while still keeping one's lips closed.
3. One should remember in such a scenario that the only remaining viable opening prepared to absorb the momentum of one's mouthful of Diet Coke is one's nasal cavity.
4. When Diet Coke forcibly enters one's nasal cavity one should not reflexively snort.
Diet Coke, the new sinus douche.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
-
Honestly, this is a post I never dreamed I'd write. My hands are shaky, and I'm frantically thinking through all the possible conseq...
-
I've been sitting on this news for over a week, now. Remember last week when I said part of my May was WOW? This is the WOW, announced ... -
I became a fan of Lili St. Crow (who writes adult urban fantasy as Lilith Saintcrow) a few years ago when I bought one of her books, read i...
I nearly snorted coffee myself while reading this!
ReplyDeleteHuh... I don't know. Diet Coke sinus douching may be an option the next time a sinus cold hits. If it works, it works.
ReplyDeleteI think this happened to me when I was little. I was sick today (great timing, missed a quiz or test in three classes), so I might have to try this.
ReplyDeleteI think people may want to start using diet coke rather than water in their neti pots after this post.
ReplyDelete