Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Interview With Agent Holly Root

I'm so excited to have my Agent of Awesomesauce Holly Root on the blog today. Holly is a class act who understands and respects the creative process, is a pit bull when it comes to negotiating for her clients, and doesn't flinch from writers who think discussing milk-flavored duckies and spiders down cleavage in the same post is acceptable blog content.

Plus, she has minions. Revision Duck Mafia minions. You know that's cool.

The first time I talked with Holly, I felt instantly at home. Especially when I sort of wondered aloud if she'd wandered through my blog because what she found MIGHT sway her decision to offer representation (and not in a good way), and she assured me she'd read my blog, and it was crazy-free.


I decided either she was being kind, or she was my kind of people. Turns out she's my kind of people.

When I asked her which of the Usual Suspects she'd like to be interviewed by, she chose the Spork of Doom.

Spork of Doom.

Holly Root

Now that you know who's who, let's get to the important stuff. As you know, Clint makes a special cupcake in honor of whomever is being interviewed. Holly requested a Kitten of Doom cupcake. I thought it was going to be the end of Clint. He kept asking me, "What does a Kitten of Doom look like?" To which I replied, "Yanno. Doomy."

He didn't really find that helpful.

And then, after he'd nearly finished the Kitten of Doom, disaster struck. Our very own Spastic Kitten, furious at the apparent competition for the title of Most Insane Feline Under Our Roof, did a drive-by swiping, sending the cupcake (and two hours of hard work) flying toward the floor. Thankfully, the Scientist was close at hand and he caught the cupcake before it splattered everywhere, thereby saving this blog post and Spastic Kitten's life. So, without further ado, I give you the (doomy) Kitten of Doom (Yes, it's ALL edible.) and Holly's interview with the Spork of Doom! We're all about Doom! today.

1. I’m all about world domination, and I’m always looking for good help. Why would you be an acceptable minion in my quest?

You can never go wrong with at least one minion with opposable thumbs.

2. Being a Spork of Doom takes moxy. What’s the sporkiest thing you’ve ever done?

Worn fuchsia and red together and Made. It. Work.

3. When I’m not busy taking over the world, I like to eat pie. What kind of pie do you think is worthy of my Spork of Doom status?

I'll see you your pie and raise you a blackberry cobbler. That, my friend, is how God intended us to consume fruit and carbs together, and as a bonus wouldn't it be most efficient to consume via spork?

4. You make a valid point. Favorite dessert to eat with a spork?

See above. Check and mate.

5. I have the ability to be simultaneously spoon, fork, and weapon of mass destruction. What unique ability do you have?

A devastating deadpan.

6. In this day and age, a savvy spork bent on world domination can’t afford to ignore a good marketing campaign. I’m thinking t-shirts with “Spork or Die.” If you made a shirt with your own slogan on it, what would it say?

If you can read this, I sold it.

7. If I had to compare myself to anyone in history, I’d have to say I’m most like Napoleon. Only skinnier. And shinier. And smart enough not to lose my empire at a place with a ridiculous name like Waterloo. Who are you most like and why?

I'm going with my boy Ghengis on account of the conquering the known world and the excellent bone structure.

8. Why is your job just as much fun as world domination?

They both come with a corporate jet.

9. Seriously? Why don't I have a corporate jet? I'm a SPORK OF DOOM. I need a corporate jet. Or at least some pie. You need to accomplish a secret, night-time mission as my minion. Cloak? No cloak? Why?

Oh, no cloak. Didn't you see The Incredibles? Never a cloak.

10. My best piece of advice to others is this: “Fear the spork!” What’s your best advice?

Quit picking at it.

Thank you, Holly, for taking on the Spork of Doom with such inimitable style. To learn more about Holly as an agent, go here.

Holly brought a giveaway with her today--the choice of one of the books from her stash. Trust me, she has a STASH! Answer Holly's question in the comment trail to go into a drawing. The winner will be announced on Thursday, so stay tuned. Holly will then email you with a list of books to choose from. Have fun!

Holly's question: What color scheme would your super* suit follow? (The * is because I respect supers of both the villain and hero persuasions. And mine would be lavender and deep purple, for the record.)


  1. First of all...crazy-free????? No one in my family has EVER been successfully accused of that, least of all my sister.

    Your weapon? I read "A devastating bedpan." Yes, I'm tired, but we can all agree the devastation caused by one of those would be, well, devastating.

    My super hero costume color scheme would have to be a blue that had the ability to look like green in certain light. Aren't getting the visual completely? Look at Gerard Butler's eyes. I’ll take my giveaways now please.

    Honestly, I'd have my costume and accessories—because thigh-high boots are a must when fighting crime—made out of melted down and reconstructed dragon scales so I could shimmer and slip into stealth mode in any given situation. Take that, SPORK!

  2. That was too funny. And I def want that cupcake! ;) Holly would make a great superhero.

  3. My super suit would be all black and cover everything from neck to feet. And it would have built-in Spanx and a corset so that I could cram cupcakes in a single bound.

    Perhaps they would call me Devil's Food, and I could have a sidekick called The Icing.

  4. Iridescent green like a Japanese beetle for the hard parts, and still-of-night black for the soft parts.

  5. Oh almost forgot! My super suit would be basic black and silver but have some Swarovski crystals for detail and pizazz. Black goes with everything so I'd coordinate with any other superheros I hung out with. ;)

  6. My hero super suit would be purple with glitter.

    Three days a month, though, I turn into a villain and that suit is silver and black.


  7. My heroine suit would be black with light purple trim. Black is so slenderizing, and God knows I don't want anyone saying, "Look up in the sky, it's a blimp, a whale, no it's..." You got the idea.

  8. Great interview. You handled the Spork of Doom with your Knife of Wit.

    My super suit...Deep purple with yellow highlights. Of course it's made with Spanx so I can eat cupcakes designed to celebrate my rout of bad writing.

  9. Anyone who can make fuchsia and red work together is clearly a major super hero ;-)

    MY suit would be crisp and black-- with a fabulous lace and feathered masquerade mask, and of course manolos to make the whole thing that much better.

  10. How funny! And what an amazing cupcake. My super hero costume would be black (like other commenter's, the black would hide my cupcake obsession) with neon pink detailing.
    And maybe some pink legwarmers a la Fame. And big hair

  11. You mean to tell me "crazy" is not normal? Darn here I thought I was normal,LOL!

    My super suit would be light yellow and white.

  12. *giggles* Great interview!

    Like any good villain my suit would be black on black. Sure it's not imaginative but no one will see you coming.


  13. Creepy, but yummy looking kitten of Doom!

    My super heroine costume would be midnight blue (to bring out the blue of my eyes) with silver trim (to match the machete of doom that I wield). There would definitely be no cape, but there would be a matching, super sleek, messenger bag to hold essentials while I battled evil.

  14. I too am all about the spork. My kids just recently encountered their first spork, it was exciting to see the confusion on their little faces. Uncertain exactly how to use it.

    As for super suits, mine would be lime green with blue and did I mention it was all shiny glittery sequins? The way I see it regardless of my cupcake addiction I'm a super hero, see me shine in all my glory.

  15. "A devastating dead pan."

    That is awesome.

    My color scheme would be autumn themed, copper maybe a hint of deep reds/browns. Mostly copper.

  16. I'm gonna have to go with a navy blue and columbia blue combo. I am, after all, ever the sports mom. And a super hero sports mom MUST match the sports team and be ready to attend practice or a game at any given moment. I wouldn't want to be off super hero-ing, arrive at a game and be out of the color scheme.
    Spork of Doom - I salute your courageous interview. Well done

  17. Fab interview...the spork should hang his head in shame and now call himself a spoon, compared to Holly's Ginsu sharp wit. Nothing beats a blackberry cobbler...nothing.
    My super suit would have the amazing ability to shift between all black and invisible - making the most perfect slimming and inconspicuous attire, as I battle my way through a night of crime, and eating the above said cobbler.
    And of course - this outfit wouldn't be complete without Christian Louboutin's famous black boots (ha! spellcheck didn't like his last name...oh the shame!) with just the hint of a red sole, denoting the inner vixin in all of us.
    Until we meet again Spork...

  18. Thank you, ladies, for starting my day with a good laugh. You are just too clever!
    My super hero costume would be made of chameleon cloth. You know, the kind that can change color and design based on mood, environment, or deadly circumstances.

  19. I can see why Holly is your agent. You two are great together.

    My super hero costume would be a rich red color with bright gold trim. I wouldn't be invisible, but since menopause I'm more an "in your face" person!

  20. Lynnette HendersonMarch 3, 2010 at 1:11 PM

    Fabulous interview! My super hero suit would have to be a floral print (Holly is cringing) and would include a fabulous Royal-Ascot-worthy hat that would stay perfectly in place despite all my super hero gyrations. It would also include footwear that was gorgeous, comfortable and kept my feet warm!

  21. First, love the cupcake. Second, that was hysterical! My favorite part was about Genghis' great bone structure. Never underestimate a villain with good cheekbones.

    My super suit would be a little black dress that lets me move, tights, and kickass boots. Yeah, subtle. My name? The Freudian Slip. Villain or hero? Depends on the day and observer. But then, I have good cheekbones thanks to my Belgian mother, so hmmm...


  22. Okay, you guys had me cracking up the entire time--which was not so helpful for my cough. *coughs*

    I'd want my superhero suit to be black with fuchsia accents, and not only do I want built in spanx, I want the built in muscles a la the batsuit--though they can leave the nipples off. That would be tacky. ;) (Wow, I can't believe I just used the word "nipple" in a comment. That's the fever talking.)

    Anyway, thanks for the entertainment and I can't wait for the next interview! And now, I'm going back to bed to moan until this stupid cold goes away *coughs*

  23. My super suit would be black so I could roam about at night undetected. No cape (I did see the Incredibles), but it would definitely include pockets.

  24. LOL - How fun was that?!?

    Hmmm...My super suit would be midnight blue with hot pink accents.


  25. Yet another fabulous post.

    I think my super costume would be shades of blue. Cat woman has already been done, so I can't copy.

    I loved The Incredibles!!!

  26. My super* suit would be a deep emerald green with a black steel-boned silk brocade underbust corset with ice blue threading in fine intricate patterns on the sides. (I love green, most type of greens actually, with bright emerald green right at the top because of my eyes and black because it has always been the one color I love as much as I hate it and ice blue because I love water but deep sea blue would make a much more visible contrast against the black and I want the green to take centre stage without sharing any of the limelight! :P) Don't ask I have peculiar tastes to say the least.... *giggle*

  27. Great interview!

    My anti-heroine suit (cause let's face it, everyone loves a good anti-hero), would consist of a killer pair of dark blue jeans - boot cut - that are as comfortable as pajama pants, but look perpetually brand new. I'd pair this with an awesome pair of bright red heels (open toe, of course) and a shimmery, low cut, empire waist, red blouse. Combo clubbing outfit and crimefighting suit. I want to look casually hot, with the anti heroine edge of "I'm not going to rush into the fray immediately, but may God help you if I feel forced to break a sweat." ;)

  28. I find that cupcake disturbing. You should ship it to Holly. Trufax. ;)

  29. You guys are cracking me up with your super suits!

  30. I do believe your Spork of Doom could take over for Barbara Walters now that she's quitting. Just sayin.

    My super suit would look just like Selene's leather getup in Underworld, except it would be plaid with a polyester blend because plaid and polyester never go out of style. What? They don't. And my super boots would have feathers on them because feathers are way stylish. And maybe a few sequins on the collar to make me a slightly more glamorous version than Selene.

  31. OMG That cupcake is awesome!

    Okay, so I need to know, what exactly constitutes "crazy" for the blogging stuff here? *looks through own posts, worried bc I'm cleary insane*

    My super* costume...hmm...that's a tough one. Probably have to go with maroon and gold bc I'm a Dark Phoenix fan and well...I walk a bit on the dark side anyway. No sash, though. It's like the cloak. Anyone know where I can get gold thigh-high boots? LOL Yo, HC, what's that site, supers-r-us.com?

    Great interview! Loved it!

  32. Of course, I could always go with the purple Jedi like in my picture. LOL Forgot I had that up.

  33. Hmm that's very interessting but frankly i have a hard time figuring it... I'm wondering what others have to say....


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