Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Interesting Ways to Get A Concussion

All of the following methods have been tested personally by yours truly.

1. Vacuum underneath the dining room table, misjudge your exit, and slam the edge against your head as hard as possible.

Pro: you will miss up to three weeks of work while your brains unscramble themselves.

Con: the E.R. nurses won't believe your story and your mush-for-brains doctor will refuse a perfectly reasonable request to write a prescription for maid service.

2. Refuse to acknowledge the possibility of ice on a set of concrete stairs in the middle of WINTER camp, lose your footing, and smack each step with the back of your head as you slide toward the bottom.

Pro: there are some awfully cute medical techs on staff at high school winter camp.

Con: your ungraceful landing, coupled with your ungodly screech of panic as your feet flew skyward will significantly decrease any chance those cute medical techs will see you as date material.

3. Fall backwards off a bunk bed ladder and hit your head (along with your posterior) HARD on a concrete floor.

Pro: You've proved your "I-really-don't-think-I-should-have-the-top-bunk" point in spectacular fashion.

Con: Dealing with a headache and a seriously bruised tailbone puts a crimp in even the most intrepid girl's social life.

4. Get kicked in the head by a horse.

Pro: The "I-Got-Kicked-In-The-Head-By-A-Horse" line is a great conversation starter at boring parties and can double as an excuse for rude and/or childish behavior if needed.

Con: It freakin' hurts.

Got any to add?

1 comment:

  1. What about pass out in the middle of high school chapel and hit your head on the concrete floor?

    ReplyDelete

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