Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Note to Self

Dear C. J.,

Some things to remember:

1. It is not always wise to plot books, sing at the top of your lungs, and speed on the interstate at the same time. There's multi-tasking and then there's courting death.

2. Just because food is expensive doesn't mean it's palatable. A Fig and Nut cake costing more than a rockin' pair of stilettos tastes just as nasty as the name suggests.

3. Snorting food hurts.

4. Snorting diet coke hurts too.

5. Snorting air, when not done properly, causes an odd hacking noise that tends to scare off potential friends.

6. When the sound of a cat puking mysteriously intrudes on your dreams, MOVE!

7. Being kind is better than being right.

8. Not everyone can easily track the frequent non-sequiturs in your conversations. Hold on to the friends who can.

9. Never question any substance in the boys' bathroom. Just don protective gear and sterilize.

10. Never overlook an opportunity to tell your friends and family that you love them.

11. Dream extravagantly and hold on to those no matter what.

12. Do not waste your wit on those who need a dictionary to define words like "valor" and "honesty".

13. Do not forget to act with valor and honesty.

14. Do not forget to check the toilet seat before sitting. This especially applies to nighttime visits.

15. Do not let others bully you into changing your mind, your appearance, or your art.

16. Drink less caffeine. Everyone knows you are wired enough without it.

17. Be a light in somone's darkness.

18. Speak out about adoption whenever the right opportunity presents itself.

19. Don't waste your time or energy on those without integrity.

20. Write with passion and discipline.

21. Make others laugh as often as possible (and here I must reiterate the "do not laugh with a full bladder" rule. And also the various "snorting" rules. And also a heretofor unmentioned "Do not laugh at inappropriate times" rule)

22. Smile often.

23. Don't try food that Mal likes just to please him. You know you'll probably hate it.

24. Have fun whenever possible.

25. Be a woman of your word.

4 comments:

  1. Very interesting list!

    And what kind of nasty food does Mal make you try?

    Besides carrots, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This was fabulous! :)

    And for some reason I think I would actually try the peanut butter cheeseburger thing....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mal likes things like fried chicken livers (ewww on anything that processes poop, thank you very much) and potted meat and other items best left to the imagination.

    Opal - DO try the peanutbutter on cheeseburger thing. It's completely delicious!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Actually, I like chicken livers too. Haven't tried them fried yet...

    ReplyDelete

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