Week In Review

1. Actually, sadly, I do know how the concepts of cooking and cleaning apply to me.

2. They try to take over my world...

3. Thankfully, I possess the fortitude to resist.

4. Every time I pet my cat, my dog gets jealous.

5. Starshine now asks daily if he can own a fish.

6. He promises to clean the bowl every day.

7. This would be a small miracle considering the usual state of his bedroom.

8. However, he is very persistent with this request.

9. All other family members have remained neutral on the issue, except the cat.

10. She's very supportive.

11. I will take a picture of Anne Boleyn in all her bony glory and post it next week.

12. The Renaissance Festival has come to town and my hubby, Paul, and I never miss it.

13. This week, while handing a man his plate of food, the momentum of the plate's forward motion carried one precariously placed piece of bacon off the plate, onto the man's lap, and (due to his regrettably slow reflexes) onto the floor.

14. One piece.

15. I instantly apologized and told him I'd return with another piece from the kitchen. Takes less than a minute. It's Cracker Barrel. We always have bacon.

16. He threw what can only be described as a tantrum. He raised his voice and explained the facts of life as he saw them. The gist of his complaint was that, and I quote, "Nothing is worse than not having all of your food on your plate when you start eating."

17. Oh really???

18. Fed up with his arrogant, self-centered drivel, I replied: "Cancer is worse. Katrina was worse. Losing a child is worse." And in the resulting silence, I left to get his one piece of bacon.

19. Not surprisingly, I did not receive a tip.

20. That's okay. I adjust attitudes for free.