Saturday, July 5, 2008

Week In Review

1. We did not continue our tradition of blowing up cakes this 4th.

2. Instead, my hubby (and our new neighbor) and my children experimented with what would happen if you threw a lit M90 into a bucket of water (serious water displacement), what would happen if you piled used fireworks containers on top of an M90 (serious bonfire), and how high Mom's voice could go if you stuck a handful of lit sparklers into an empty Diet Coke can.

3. I can tell you this: if Daredevil thinks he's ever going to get his license or his own car or, for that matter, his own book of matches, he's got another think coming.

4. I have to take a moment to express our entire family's deep gratitude to those who are serving or have served (and to the families of those who serve) in our military. We honor your service and your sacrifice.

5. We took the kids to Nashville Shores on Thursday because my hubby had a radio gig there. Translation: we didn't have to pay to get in. ;)

6. There are pools, fountains, huge buckets that relentlessly fill and then dump icy water on everyone foolish enough to be in a fifty foot radius, water slides of every description, banana boat rides, a lake to swim in, and various other forms of entertainment, all revolving around water.

7. We spent most of our time in the lake because it was the only body of water that was actually warm. Again, we had to reiterate our No Talking To Strangers Rule for Daredevil (although when he pointed out to one woman that she was unlikely to fit into the single intertube she was determinedly wedging over her hips, he was entirely accurate. His problem has never been honesty. His problem is tact.)

8. The 9-4 is beginning to make a strange, high-pitched digital ringing noise while I drive it.

9. I applied all of my considerable mechanical expertise to the problem and was able to rule out slamming my hand against any portion of the dashboard as a possible cure.

10. One of my biggest pet peeves at work is people who drop things on the floor and then don't bother to pick them up, leaving their discarded forks, napkins, or entire pieces of chicken for me to scrounge for after they leave.

11. This is appropriate behavior if, say, you've been held captive all of your life in a baboon habitat and therefore can't be expected to know any better, or if you're the kind of person who is too lazy to pick up after yourself but rich enough to make it worth my while.

12. A $50 tip should about cover my loss of dignity.

13. If you are one of the many who either has no family history with baboons or isn't prepared to spot me a Grant, then you should jolly well lean down and pick up what you've dropped.

14. The other night I waited on a family that were demanding enough to set my teeth on edge. When I checked on them after their dinners arrived, I was informed that their daughter (who was easily 10) had dropped her fork and needed another.

15. I don't find that irritating in the least. I'm uncoordinated, remember? I know all about dropping things you meant to keep.

16. What I did find irritating was the evidence of the dirty fork lying there on the floor. I'd had enough.

17. I held out my hand and said, "I'd be happy to bring a clean fork out. I'll just take the dirty one back now."

18. The woman looked confused and said, "Oh, it's right there on the floor."

19. "I'll wait," I said and I did. I stood there with my hand out, waiting, until the woman looked at her daughter and instructed her to pick up the fork and hand it to me. Then I smiled and politely retrieved a new fork for them.

20. I like to think it was a character building experience for them all.

21. Reader Question: Tell me one of your biggest pet peeves.


  1. Well, first off if I ever happen upon your restaurant- you know that I am going to have my entire family drop all their silverware on the floor upon leaving. We'll leave you a $50 tip too, so you will feel conflicted...
    Secondly, you have to understand the perspective of the one eating. My kids drop crap on the floor nonstop. There is some cultural rule about not touching anything that lands on the floor under a restaurant table. So how can you expect us to dare that evil? That is like having us fish out something from the toilet. Leave it to those that actually are getting some monetary reimbursement for the task... You also have to factor in the entropy of children- if I do retrieve that fork- in all likelihood it will end up in my kids mouth while I await my server to return. And so instead we bravely risk being stabbed in the foot- rather than venture into that forbidden zone!

  2. I would expect nothing less from you (mutters "re-gifter" under her breath). =)

    But since you also rear-ended my car in college, you owe me more than a $50 tip.

    Considerably more.

    And as I have three boys, I know the trials of restaurant eating. I always cleaned up any "big" stuff that dropped before leaving the table for the last time and when they were old enough to do so, I had them pick up after themselves at the end of the meal too. =)

    You'd be amazed how many people let their children *throw*, not just drop, stuff and then it never occurs to them that I am being paid to bring food to them and take care of their dining needs, not to pick up 30 things they've been too lazy to retrieve. :)

    As for daing the evils of the That's what anti-bacterial wipes are for. :D

  3. *daring*...this is what happens when I type while refereeing an argument between my children (who ALL want to be James Bond at the moment leaving them without a viable villain...)

  4. People who do everything but drive when they're in the driver's seat of a moving vehicle.


  5. People who use "hopefully" incorrectly. It's an adverb.
    Also people (like Alanis Morissette)who use "ironically" incorrectly. The only ironic thing about her song is the title.

  6. Katy - so true.

    Danielle - LOL! Maybe you could write her a note explaining the difference and finish it with "you ought to know"...

  7. It is amasing how people honestly think that when they go certain places they are allowed to lose their manners. Or did they have nay in the first place? I mean do they have dirty forks laying all around their homes? I doubt it, although I have not seen many of your customers, lol, so it is possible.:P

    Anyway I came by to have a peep at your blog. I enjoyed the festivities for the fourth! It was awesome to meet you and your family. I look forward to keeping n eye on our blog and also finding the inspiration to make mine better than just me complaining, although I may just make a new one vamped up more positive one, which is a so must!!! Thanks!!

    Desiree :D


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