Thursday, January 29, 2009

Chocolate, Tomatoes, and Annoyances...Oh My!

1. Yum. Chocolate.

2. I think I might like chocolate after all.

3. Yes, that sound you heard was the universe cracking and falling off its axis.

4. You see those gorgeous shoes? The ones right above this post? Those are all made out of chocolate.

5. Looks like I'm going to need a refrigerator in my shoe closet.

6. Hmm, but first to convince the hubby I actually need a shoe closet.

7. He can store his stuff in a trunk at the end of the bed, right??

8. It's been a light blogging week because I started working an additional position (If you're keeping track, this makes FOUR positions I work now. Oy.) in place of someone who got (deservedly) fired.

9. It's long hours on my feet (which I'm used to) and tons of lifting and bending and hauling (which I'm not).

10. Today, I needed a box of tomatoes which were inexplicably stored at the very top of a three-tiered metal shelving unit whose top shelf was so far above my head, I had to stand on tip toes to touch it with my finger tip.

11. The box of tomatoes I needed was stacked on top of two OTHER boxes of tomatoes on the top of that too-high shelf.

12. Apparently, my manager overlooked the height requirement for this job when she shoe-horned me into the position because she doesn't stock step stools.

13. Did I wander around asking for a tall man to help me?

14. No. I seriously did not have the time.

15. Instead, throwing aside years of unnatural injuries and clear instances of the kind of innate clumsiness that would have earned me a spot on I Love Lucy, I decided the best course of action would be to balance (Already you see the problem, yes?) on the bottom shelf and gradually work the top box of tomatoes free with one hand...

16. Before you hastily swallow your coffee, convinced my next sentence will be full of C.J. flying through the air, splattering tomatoes in her wake, allow me to assure you, I didn't fall.

17. I didn't have the chance.

18. The back-up cook came around the corner, took one look at me, and let loose with a string of vehement Spanish that might have been "Wow, you're one smart, strong, resourceful woman. Why can't all women be like you?" but was probably "Get off that shelf, you crazy girl, before I have to clean up oodles of blood and tomatoes! Why am I cursed to work with a woman?"

19. Since my Spanish is limited, I simply turned my head and looked at him, waiting for the translation.

20. He rolled his eyes and said, "Get. Down."

21. I did.

22. He got the tomatoes, muttering something about "bloody white girls" under his breath.

23. It was really weird to hear a Mexican use the word "bloody" as an adjective.

24. Why do some people think any story I share about my kids is a direct solicitation for their advice?

25. I find that annoying.

26. Reader Question: I need to make some cool finger food for our Superbowl Party this Sunday. Any suggestions?


  1. "Bloody everlasting hell" is my favorite of the milder cusses.

    Finger food? Is there any other kind? O_O

    Well, soup, I suppose. And cereal. Although I sometimes do eat cereal dry out of the box...

    What was the question? Ah, yes. Nachos, tater skins, mozarella sticks, pizza rolls, chicken fries, popcorn shrimp, bread sticks...


    Don't know if this is a universal thing, but the two radio stations I listen to in the car aren't allowed to say the word "Superbowl" for some reason, to the extent that if they do, it will be bleeped out on air.

    If the Superbowl people are that proprietary, they need to lighten the feck up.

  2. Crackers with a slice of cheddar and a slice of cherry tomato on it.

    Chilli dip (hormel chilli, cream cheese and a bit of worcesteshire sauce)serve with fritos.

  3. How quickly one forgets that one's dearest husband has already hand crafted a chocolate stilletto for his loving wife. :-)

  4. A Deep, Deep South favorite is teeny hot dogs in a sauce made of... grape jelly.

    I haven't personally tried it, as the very thought sends me running from the room with my hand clasped firmly over my mouth, but I have been assured many, many times that I am missing out on the very best of the Seven Culinary Wonders of the World.

  5. Thank god for Mexican back-up cooks who immigrate from England. :D


  6. Kerry - Tiny hot dogs? In grape jelly? Blech to both. Since moving to the South, I've long since learned that many things considered AMAZING here, are anathema to my California palate.

    ANY sauce made from grape jelly falls into this category.

    ND - The fritos and dip thing sounds YUM.

    Clint - I didn't forget all the time you spent crafting me a gorgeos red stiletto from chocolate. :) This is more of a "Hey, when are you going to move your stuff out of my, er...OUR closet so I can reorganize my shoes?"

    Katy - *chokes on laughter* Indeed.

  7. I guess I can move my 6 feet of stuff out of our 40 feet of closet and into our garage if that will make you happy. I live to serve. :-)

  8. See? And people say there aren't any good men left. lol



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