A conversation that happened today between myself and a coworker whom I barely know.
Coworker: I heard you're going to see a movie tonight! I want to see a movie! Can I come?
Me: Um, no. I'm going on a dinner and a movie date with my husband tonight for my birthday.
Coworker: But I really want to see a movie! Can't I come too?
Me: It's a date. With my husband. For my birthday.
Coworker: I can sit behind you.
Coworker: I won't even say a word. Please?
Me: Wow. No. It's. A. Date. *begin enunciating words carefully since brain damage is a possible factor.*
Coworker: So I can't come? Even if I just sit behind you guys?
Coworker: You know, that really hurts my feelings.
Me: I don't see how it possibly could. I'm going on a date with my husband for my birthday. No one else is invited. I wouldn't take my best friend with me, much less a woman I barely know. If you want to see the movie, go to the theater and buy a ticket. I don't care. But you aren't going with me.
Coworker: Fine. I just might go anyway. But don't worry. If I see you, I'll look away so you don't know I'm in the same room.
Me: Sheesh. I'm too old for junior high politics. See you later. *walks off*