Saturday, February 7, 2009

Nonsense of the Twitter Variety

Twitter is an addictive little sucker. Don't let anyone tell you different. However, Twitter has two sides. Friends and those you admire updating you on their lives in 140 characters or less = win. Oddballs whose behavior just begs for the strongest anti-psychotic prescription money can buy = fail.

Fortunately, while anyone (and I do mean anyone) can follow you on Twitter, you can easily block those whose particular brand of crazy you don't feel comfortable subscribing to.

A list of those who've followed me recently:

1. A man who describes himself as an aggressive entrepreneur. A glance at his updates reveals this description to be code for "pyramid scheme pusher." Yeah. Block.

2. A man who professes to be in pursuit of all things holistically artistic. I'm not absolutely sure what that means, but I wish him luck finding anything holistic or overtly artistic about my life (One of my most recent updates discussed the incredible belching contest we held here.). I, however, will not be following him in return.

3. A self-pub outfit inviting mom writers to skip the arduous, deck-stacked-against-you pub process of traditional publishers and instead, pay them for the privilege of slapping your words on paper without the benefit of marketing, book store placement, or knowledgeable staff to assist with foreign rights or movie rights. Yeah. Block.

4. A man who calls himself the Twenforcer and professes his mission in life is to forcibly correct breaches in Twetiquette. I can't make this stuff up, folks. Oh, fine. I could. But I'm not. He's for real. I didn't follow him back because I make it a habit not to encourage those who behave like donkeys (and because I would be patently unable to resist giving him a verbal smack down on EVERYTHING he says), but I didn't block him. I'm waiting for the moment he decides to send me a personal reply to something I post...THEN I get to deliver the verbal smack down and block his sorry hide.

5. A woman who seems to post updates every five seconds, all day, every day. Ah, no. Probably a very nice woman but no way on earth do I want to know that much about anyone's life, much less a complete stranger.

If you're on Twitter and you haven't hooked up with me, please do. Unless, of course, you want to sell me something. Or you post constantly about nonsense even your doctor wouldn't want to know. Or you're the kind of arrogant fool who thinks correcting others over a social forum where there are no posted rules is somehow acceptable.



  1. I enjoy twitter, but I only let myself have it on (I use Twitterfox) for the couple hours a day while I'm emailing and blogging... then it goes off... otherwise I'd pay far too much attention to who is having a bad day and who is goofing off at work... and so on.

    When I first encountered it, I thought it would be a waste of time, but I've actually met several writers this way and developed some fun friendships that have extended beyond Twitter into Facebook, blogs, and email. It's a surprisingly good networking tool. That said, I too block people who are only trying to sell something. This isn't QVC!

  2. I'm bothered by the people who AREN'T selling something but follow you so you'll follow them back so they can get 50,000 followers. They're obviously not reading the updates of the 50,000 people they follow, but they expect those 50,000 people to pay rapt attention to their updates?

    Pass, thanks.

  3. I have to keep this techno stuff to a tolerable level. I just deactivated on Facebook and I can't figure out how to Twitter on my phone. So I blog. And blog.

    Nice to meet you too!

  4. Thank you for explaining this whole Twitter thing for me. People keep pushing me to join, but something keeps telling me that it would become like e-crack for me. You've confirmed it-- though I almost am tempted to do it, just so I can collect weirdos for future improv characters!
    I really appreciate the laugh. I needed it today!

  5. *laughs* I've been friended by some interesting people on Twitter. It always makes me wonder how they found me and what's so interesting about me that they want to follow. (especially since I forget to twit for large chunks of time :D )


  6. I just read this, clicked back on Twitter to discover I have a new follower, clicked on them and found this: Simple concept and $6000 a week.

    Oh honestly!

    And then it seems that sales/marketing people absolutely LOVE me. Isn't it enough that I get spammed constantly in my email???

    And yes, it's extremely addictive. Oy.


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