Wednesday, April 15, 2009

For The Love Of Biscuits

I see a lot of rather bad behavior from people in my line of work, but the one that gets to me the most is when someone thinks it's somehow appropriate to throw a tantrum over food. And by tantrum, I mean yelling, tossing their silverware down on the table, and going on and on about how their life is absolutely ruined because we ran out of meatloaf.

The other night, a man pitched a fit over biscuits. Biscuits. I'm used to grown-ups behaving like a spoiled two year old denied his favorite blankie at bedtime, but on this particular day, I just couldn't take it.

Setting the Scene: Last Friday, a mere five hours after I'd watched Carly die and only one hour after a tornado devastated our neighboring city--killing a mother and child and wiping out blocks of homes.

The Conversation:

Me: *bringing their dinner to their table a scant six minutes after they'd placed their order--even for us, that's really fast.* Here you go. We've got fresh biscuits coming out of the oven in just a moment so I'll be right back out with your bread.

Man: *slaps his hand down on the table* Well that's just great. How long do I have to wait? Is my food going to get cold?

Me: Not if you start eating it now. By the time I walk back to the kitchen, the bread will be ready and I'll be right back out.

Man: *throws his spoon onto the table* You've just ruined my day. I can't believe this *^$#.

Me: *realizes that maybe he's just come from Murfreesboro and lost everything* I'm sorry. You've had a bad day? Did you get caught in that tornado?

Man: *looks at me like I have three heads* I wasn't having a bad day until you brought out food without the biscuits.

Me: *slowly realizes that yes indeed this man is having a fit over something as unimportant as bread* So, you're only upset because the bread is coming out two minutes after your dinner?

Man: Only?! I like my biscuits with my meal. I want them now! I don't want to wait for two minutes and you've ruined my dinner now.

Me: *feels thin grasp on temper snap with a resounding crack* Let me get this straight. The only thing that's gone wrong for you today is your biscuits arriving shortly after your plate of food? You haven't lost a loved one? Haven't watched anyone die? Haven't been told you have cancer? Haven't lost your job? Haven't had your entire home turned into kindling at the whim of Mother Nature? It seems to me that you've got nothing to complain about and getting angry over biscuits is insulting to everyone else who does.

And I slapped his plate of food in front of him, fetched his biscuits and slapped them down too, and then watched as he crumpled up a one dollar bill and threw it onto the table as he left. I don't think I got through to him, but maybe he'll think twice next time before deciding something an inconsequential as food is worth such poor behavior.


  1. I would have slapped him with the biscuits, but we know that already. It's why I wouldn't last 5 seconds at a restaurant.

    :D I'm seriously putting you in for sainthood.

  2. *applauds*

    Good for you, CJ. The self-centeredness of some people is staggering.

  3. When I was still a supervisor on the phones, we were taking Hurricane Katrina disaster calls from our credit card clients right after the hurricane hit. We were talking to people who had watched loved ones drown right in front of them. One of my peers received an escalated normal call in which the person proceeded to scream at him about a $1 finance charge. Needless to say, my coworker lost it and told the caller just how ridiculous and pathetic that concern was.

  4. Man...I COULD NOT do that job anymore, I would snap on someone like that. Probably punch them in the face. More power to you for only using words. =D

    People don't understand what "real problems" are, and what is worth getting stressed and huffy over. Geez. I got mad reading this...haha.

  5. Katy - My sainthood application was submitted the day I gave birth to my third boy in four years but, sadly, my avid machinations for world domination proved grounds for instant disqualification.

    Avy - Isn't it though? I don't think there's ever an excuse to lose sight of the bigger picture like that.

    BV - Amazing.

    Paul - LOL. You might have threatened him with your gun. Or your ramming bar. Which I need, btw. Really, really need.

  6. How sad...

    Humans are strange animals. I remember once we had overnight guests, two men, who my hubby knew.

    They were leaving the house at six in the morning, and I got up at five, which was a struggle for me, and fixed breakfast.

    We're talking eggs, crunchy bacon, biscuits (from a can), grits, home-canned figs, oj and coffee.

    I asked them how they wanted their eggs fixed.

    As I sat the plates in front of one, he asked if I used 'farm' eggs. "No." I said.

    He said he only ate 'farm' eggs, and I smiled and told him that I was sorry, but this was all I had. He mentioned it again, and pushed the plate an inch away from him. Where I picked up the plate and brought it to the kitchen and rammed the contents into the garbage disposal.

    I heard the remark, from the other guest, "I guess you aren't getting any breakfast this morning."

    My hubby was stunned that I did it, I was stunned. But he said he deserved it.

    Needless to say, we never saw him again.

  7. I half expected you to hurl the biscuits at his head from the kitchen. Some people just WANT to be angry, it seems.


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