Monday, July 6, 2009

Spazzing Out Is Hard Work



1. In case you were wondering, Spastic Kitten doesn't always spaz.

2. Sometimes she sleeps. (see above)

3. Although the true nature of her mental instability is always apparent to the discerning eye.

4. We spent all day Friday at Nashville Shores, a water amusement park.

5. I learned two valuable lessons.

6. One, when applying sunscreen to yourself, do not get distracted by the antics of your spawn and forget to slather your face.

7. Two, women considering a tattoo on their stomachs should think long and hard about the eventual effects of childbirth and gravity.

8. Mosquitoes, apparently, love me.

9. Every time I hang around outside at dusk, I get eaten alive.

10. My kids and Clint are basically immune.

11. This A) is not fair and B) makes me glad I've never met a vampire as my blood seems to be a hot commodity.

12. The other night I had so many bites on my feet, I couldn't sleep well because of the itch.

13. I tried calamine lotion but it didn't help.

14. Clint told me to cover the bites with scotch tape.

15. I was just desperate enough to follow through on this hair-brained suggestion.

16. It worked--cut the itch down to an ignorable annoyance.

17. The next day, my kids were very interested to know why I had scotch tape all over my feet.

18. Once I explained it to them, the Scientist exclaimed "If scotch tape helped a little, you should try duct tape! I bet that would fix it!"

19. Just like a man--thinks duct tape fixes everything.

9 comments:

  1. I would use duct tape cautiously. I hear it eats warts, so application to skin you'd like to keep may not be advised.

    And for your information, duct tape isn't only for men. My plan for world conquest revolves exclusively around duct tape and WD40.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Poor little gattino, all tuckered out. Delightful blog entry.

    I can imagine your life is hard, but you manage to smile and look glamorous, all at the same time. It is why I read such stories.

    ~M.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Angelic DaughterJuly 6, 2009 at 9:08 PM

    I was going to post a comment revolving around duct tape and WD40, but a) I thought it was called DW40, and b) Mom stole my idea, so, nyah.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kerry - Your plan has merit but I think the chances of success would triple if you added a Zombie Goat to the mix.

    If I ever create a band (What? It could happen.) I'm calling it Zombie Goat.

    M - Don't feel too much sympathy for SK. She was dreaming of new ways to chew off our toes while we slept.

    AngDot - Brilliant minds think alike. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. You should have tried double sided tape. Save yourself half a week of vacuuming by just walking around. See, always thinking.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LMAO. Can I be in your band? That would be cool.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Scotch tape and vampires are surprisingly very funny together. lol

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow. Sammy looks a lot like Raine in that picture!

    And remember the duct tape on my mazda?? Haha

    ReplyDelete
  9. Katy - Of course! You're a shoo-in. (Had to type that THREE times before my brain finally resigned itself to not typing "shoe".)

    Crystal- lol

    Paul - I remember the duct tape on your PANTS. You hemmed CLOTHES with DUCT TAPE. lol

    ReplyDelete

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