I thought perhaps some visual aids might help in deciding the outcome. Will each team please present their mascots?
TEAM WERE-PLATYPUS
Name: Wally the Were-Platypus
Occupation: Fighting underwater crime
Hobbies: Eating sushi, listening to show tunes, and polishing his bill
Special Attributes: He can turn into a duck-billed, web-footed platypus at the drop of a hat. Or when he wants to show off for the women's' swim team.
TEAM JACK SPARROW
Name: He's Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?
Occupation: Pirate
Hobbies: Stealing ships, seducing women, and outsmarting everyone.
Special Attributes: Um...have you looked at his picture? Plus, he carries a sword and he knows how to use it.
Geez that's a tough call....
ReplyDeletePlatypi are one of few venomous mammals. They have ARTICULATED SPURS on their hind legs with which they can inject their enemies with a poisonous concoction that lowers blood pressure, increases bleeding at the wound, paralyzes muscle tissue, and causes excruciating and incapacitating pain that cannot be alleviated even with morphine.
ReplyDeleteThey also don't wear guyliner, and they bathe more than once a year.
The superior candidate is OBVIOUS.
Jack Sparrow is already yummy. Add him to a cupcake, you've come close to perfection. The choice is clear.
ReplyDeleteYeah, you've only made me want to see a Were-Platypus even more. I mean, YOU NAMED HIM WALLY and he eats sushi and listens to show tunes and fights underwater crime!!!!!!!!! I MUST see this creation!!!!!! (*contemplates cheating to help swing the vote*)
ReplyDeleteWere-platypus hands down. He'd back me so I gotsta return the favor.
ReplyDeleteAND, in a fit of brilliance by yours truly, platypi are also one of the only three mammals to LAY EGGS. The other two are the long- and short-beaked echidna, which, if you want to classify as the same animal, makes the platypus one of the only TWO.
ReplyDeleteTeam Wally the Were-Platypus for the win!
PROBLEM SOLVED.</
ReplyDelete