Getting Jiggy With It

1. I know, I know... list day is usually Monday. But last week got away from me, so the list is a Tuesday thing this week.

2. If you missed yesterday's post, I listed my favorite books from 2010, why I loved them, and introduced a contest where you could win your choice of one of those books. You have until Thursday night to enter.

3. I don't sew.

4. I don't even mend things. Not. At. All.

5. This has just as much to do with my complete lack of aptitude as it does with the fact that really I'm not the best girl to be wandering around with a needle in my hands.

6. It's all fun and games until someone gets a needle in the eye, after all.

7. My mother, on the other hand, is a master seamstress. She used to make our dresses--the fancy ones with ribbons, lace, and little silk roses on them--and has yet to meet a pattern she couldn't beat into submission.

8. My sister is also very handy with a sewing machine and can crochet blankets and other fabulous things.

9. I'm the girl who had to sew a pair of shorts for Home Ec (back when that was still a subject) and accidentally sewed the legs completely shut.

10. I say all of this because now when I tell you I used a glue stick to hem my work pants, you won't be surprised in the slightest.

11. The glue washes out every time the pants go through the laundry, but there's more glue where that came from!

12. Problem solved.

13. I've been informed by Daredevil that I'm not allowed to say "Getting Jiggy With It." Ever.

14. I beg to differ.

15. I gave birth to three children in four years. There are parts of my body that must be restrained with duct tape and some steel pipes to avoid putting out someone's eye in a brisk breeze.

16. I am the very definition of getting jiggy with it.

17. He also told me I don't get to say "Wiggedy, Wiggedy Whack."

18. Who wants to say that??

19. It doesn't even make sense.

20. I hypothesized it meant someone wigged out and whacked someone.

21. Daredevil looked like maybe he'd swallowed a lemon and begged me to stay far, far away from his friends.

22. We had our annual Super Bowl party here this past Sunday (where we eat stuff we'd never normally eat, talk as loud as we want throughout the game, and become dead silent for the commercials) and that means I watched the half-time show.

23. Where I got the privilege of seeing people in neon spandex jumpsuits dance around with boxes on their heads while the Black Eyed Peas proved once again they can't sound anything close to good without a studio well-equipped with Auto Tune.

24. I've never heard Sweet Child of Mine sound like someone was beating a tomcat against a wall, but I guess if you live long enough, you experience just about anything the world has to offer.

25. Perhaps that was wiggedy, wiggedy whack?

26. My hubby took HOURS of video footage while we were in China (including filming the Communist soldiers as they stood beneath a HUGE sign that said NO PICTURES) and is now in the process of editing it down to a coherent film.

27. He showed me the first twenty minutes of edited film the other night.

28. As one might expect, I was on the film several times. And every time, I was saying something sassy.

29. Do try to contain your shock.

30. I told him he'd edited it wrong.

31. He asked what I meant.

32. I said he'd only included the parts where I was being sassy.

33. He laughed and told me if he edited out the parts where I was being sassy, I wouldn't even be in the film because, and here I quote, "You are nothing but sass."

34. The fact that he said it with love and pride in his voice (and the fact that he makes ridiculously awesome cupcakes) saved him from incurring my wrath.

35. The fact that he thinks it's cool that I can get jiggy with it didn't hurt either.