Speechless

Some interesting questions asked of me at work lately. They didn't really leave me speechless but the sarcastic response I wanted to give had to be swallowed in the interest of keeping my job. ;)


"My BLT is only bacon, lettuce, and tomato. Where's the meat?"

"Does your sweet tea have sugar in it?"

"I know it says you only have biscuits and cornbread but could I please have rolls instead?"

And my personal favorite:

"Do your salads come with lettuce?"

Truly, I am amazed that some people remember how to breathe.

Just For Fun

Object Lesson

Thank you Tricia for this email! =)


I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty
and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this
money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago", the homeless woman told me.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said.
"I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS !" replied the homeless woman. " I haven't had my hair done
in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you the money.
Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my
husband and me tonight."

The homeless Woman was shocked. "Won't your husband
be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty,
and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like
after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine."

This And That

The Last Three Books I've Read:

THE PROMETHEUS DECEPTION by Robert Ludlum

THE VOICE OF THE HEART by Chip Dodd

THE BOOK OF PHILLIPIANS from the New Testament


The Last Three Movies I've Watched:

Kingdom of Heaven (yay for Orlando Bloom and a interesting view of the Crusades)

Thirty Days of Night (sheer Velveeta)

Chronicles of Riddick (futuristic fun)


Current Musical Obsessions:

Evanescence

Chris Tomlin

John Catchings - cello


Current Focus:

Being an excellent mom to my boys and surrogate mom to my "adopoted" teenage girls.

Finishing Alexa

Annihilating Mal in our battles at work

Channeling

This is who I channel while driving my kids...

Lessons Learned

A few lessons my boys learned yesterday:

1. Light sabers and unprotected groins do not a happy camper make.

2. There is only so far you can push a mother with a raging headache before she snaps like a brittle rubber band.

3. Never tickle Starshine when he has a full bladder. Especially if he's sitting on you.

And the most important lesson of all (illustrated with much dramatic screaming by Starshine himself):

4. Do not take an atomic fireball repeatedly out of your mouth and then wipe your eyes with those same, cinnamon-coated fingers.

A Fellow Captain Jack Fan!