Where Do We Find These People?

Sometimes the people I wait on say the silliest things.

Last night, one woman kept me at the table for two minutes to expound (passionately!) about the fact that we offer biscuits or cornbread and not rolls. Apparently this is a travesty of no small dimension. She was of the opinion that we were standing firmly in the wrong and I needed to contact our Home Office and explain to them that we really needed ROLLS.

Yeah, let me get right on that.

Two things, lady. First, you are telling the wrong person because a) the decision makers at Cracker Barrel do not wear aprons and b) I completely DO NOT care. Why people think they can walk into a restaurant and complain about what isn't on the menu is a mystery to me. If you don't like the menu, go somewhere else. Problem solved.

Next, I had a man order tea. In the South, there are two kinds of tea. Sweet and Unsweet. As the names would seem to indicate, Sweet Tea contains a teeth-achingly large amount of sugar. Unsweet Tea doesn't contain anything but tea - hence the "un" part of the name.

This man ordered tea and when I asked what kind, he said "Unsweet". I brought it to him. Minutes later, while I was at another table taking an order, he began to swivel in his chair and try desperately to catch my eye. I nodded at him, finished taking the order, and stopped by the table, thinking they must want bread before their meal or something.

No.

He wanted to tell me that his tea wasn't sweet.

Well, duh.

So I said, very politely, "No, sir, it isn't. You ordered Unsweet tea."

He nods in agreement and says. "Yes, but I didn't think it wouldn't be sweet."

Ummm, what part of "Un-sweet" did you find difficult to grasp?

Seriously, some nights on this job shake my faith in the general IQ of mankind.