Monday, August 4, 2008

Best If Used By

1. The award ceremony was fun, even though I didn't win.

2. I really loved cheering for my friends as their names were called. It's much more exciting when you personally know the winners.

3. Also, I'm pleased to report that I was not personally responsible for any wardrobe malfunctions.

4. How boring is that??

5. Afterwards, Katy and I went to the Top of the Mark bar to meet up with some friends.

6. The Top of the Mark is located on the corner of Pine and California, which is near the top of Nob Hill.

7. Katy's friends told her to have the taxi drop us at Pine and Mason which is one block lower than the interesection needed, though we didn't know that at the time.

8. I should pause to explain that "hill" in San Fran is a euphemism for "steep as a playground slide".

9. The driver dropped us off, realized we were one block short of our intended destination, but was on one of San Fran's numerous one-way streets and couldn't turn around.

10. "We'll walk", we said, because after three days of Conference activities, our brains were no longer capable of logic.

11. So, we walked. "Walk", in this case, is a euphemism for "dug our high heels into uneven concrete, leaned into the wind at a 90 degree angle, and ignored the 'I hate you' messages screaming up at us from our calves".
12. I find it a serious oversight that San Fran doesn't include railings, safety ropes, and climbing guides for tourists attempting Nob Hill.

13. I spent Sunday morning with my parents and came home with a new pair of shoes (do try to contain your surprise) and two new handbags.

14. My first flight took me to Las Vegas. I landed with 30 minutes to spare between one flight and the next.

15. Thankfully, Vegas offered plenty of diversion for those measly 30 minutes.

16. No, I don't mean the copious amount of slot machines littering the airport.

17. I mean the fact that I exited at gate 24 and my next flight left from gate 5.

18. Racing through the airport in heels, dodging travelers, luggage, and the impulsive gamblers who veered suddenly from their path at the sight of a slot machine, heedless of anyone in their path, was not my idea of fun.

19. I spent part of that rapid journey stuck behind two men in their late twenties or early thirties.

20. At one point, one man looked at the other and said, "I can't wait to be back in L.A. where I can just chillax."

21. Chillax.

22. Apparently, this gentleman was unaware that in this context "chill" and "relax" are synonymns and don't gain any additional meaning when combined.

23. They do, however, call into question the intelligence of the user when combined.

24. I'm here to tell you, there's an expiration date on trendy words and men in their thirties have passed that date, no matter how baggy they wear their pants.

25. I arrived home just after 2 am (Paul did not make good on his threat to force me to hitchhike) and am so tired today, I can barely form a sentence.

26. Still, I'll be sending out my partials to requesting agents and doing laundry in between taking naps and spending tons of time with my boys.

27. Reader Question: If Hollywood made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?


  1. Janeane Garofalo can play adult me. I'm torn between Cher and Shirley McLaine for elderly-with-dementia-me. (I was never a child.)

    Glad you had a good time and made it home safely.

  2. Sounds like quite the trip. Sorry you didn't win but had a nice time anyway.
    I know what you mean about the hills. My brother is out there and when Bart and I visited, his palms were sweating... he knew of the hills, sure, but not to that degree.
    Chillax - sounds like a new hip drug.
    I'll have to think about your question, although my immediate answer is please find the perfect "unknown." All this business (and that's what it is, unfortunately) about casting "stars" kind of wears on me. Give the unknowns a chance to be stars, darn it...

  3. Thats a cool idea to think about. I have no idea who would though...I like Christian Bale, so maybe him? Any similarities?

  4. Ah, the after-conference twitch-and-glaze, as we call it. I'm in for it myself in a few months (Department of Education conference)--luckily the conference will be in Vegas, so there is some consolation. I can quiet my twitching limbs with copious amounts of alcohol and have my trust workmates with me to insure I make it into (my own) bed.

    An actress to play me in my life story--any who is prone to falling down without warning or provocation. And who is not suicidal, because with some of the crap that happens to me...

  5. Kerry - LOL! Any one of those seems perfect for you. I need Lucy Ricardo to play me. I realize the impossibility of that so I'd hire Johnny Depp to play Lucy Ricardo playing me...Depp can do any character, right?

    Peter - Yay for unknowns...maybe we should just play ourselves? I know I can give my own lines the dramatic delivery they so deserve.

    Paul - Bale would be good because I think he can pull off a decent Paul Wall. I'm torn between him and Linda Carter, to be honest. After all, she IS the original Wonder Woman...

    *ducks and runs*

    Siobhan - I've always like Meg Ryan's willingness to perform physical comedy. Plus, she's a strong woman inside. :)

  6. NEVER wear shoes that you can't run in to the airport lmao. Wear sneakers or something. Cause murphy's law dictates you will have to walk fast lol.

    I think that maybe Emma Watson(once she's a couple years older) could probably do me justice.

  7. Yay for new shoes and handbags!
    (I ended up with a statue of the Monkey King *grins*)

    I'd have them cast Angelina Jolie, of course. :D


  8. Although I do really believe in giving the unknowns a shot, I have given it thought. I would be played by Rick Moranis.

  9. Annette - I don't really own sneakers...but maybe I should invest in some flats? I love Emma Watson.

    Katy - *tries hard not to covet statue...fails* And naturally you need Angelina Jolie. It was her or Jet Li and I don't think he could carry off any of your steam punk stuff.

    Peter - Cool. I love how our choices say so much about how we see ourselves.

    I realized that in my fog of exhaustion yesterday, I called Lucille Ball "Lucy Ricardo". While I'm sure everyone knew who I meant, I'd like to extend the courtesy of calling her by her chosen professional name.

  10. OK-- It's been a long few days and I've been remiss in catching up on posts. But may I say:
    - YOU WERE ROBBED! (I'm sure the others were deserving, but you were my horse in this race... so what else can I say?)
    - San Fran hills-- Can you BELIEVE that people do Bike Cabs in that city??
    - I was going to say, "I would totally play myself! I think I could pull it off because I am such a talented performer. I could really hit all the subtler nuances while still capturing the broad and often physical comedy required by the part." But then I scrolled down and saw that you already said that and more succinctly.
    - So I guess I would say that I would LIKE Amy Poehler to play the part... though I fear that Meryl Streep, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Stephen Colbert might come to blows in fighting for the role.


People who comment are made of awesomesauce with a side of WIN!

Harry Potter Trailer & More!

The final trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 has been released, and I'm not going to lie. I get choked up every ti...