Best If Used By
1. The award ceremony was fun, even though I didn't win.
2. I really loved cheering for my friends as their names were called. It's much more exciting when you personally know the winners.
3. Also, I'm pleased to report that I was not personally responsible for any wardrobe malfunctions.
4. How boring is that??
5. Afterwards, Katy and I went to the Top of the Mark bar to meet up with some friends.
6. The Top of the Mark is located on the corner of Pine and California, which is near the top of Nob Hill.
7. Katy's friends told her to have the taxi drop us at Pine and Mason which is one block lower than the interesection needed, though we didn't know that at the time.
8. I should pause to explain that "hill" in San Fran is a euphemism for "steep as a playground slide".
9. The driver dropped us off, realized we were one block short of our intended destination, but was on one of San Fran's numerous one-way streets and couldn't turn around.
10. "We'll walk", we said, because after three days of Conference activities, our brains were no longer capable of logic.
11. So, we walked. "Walk", in this case, is a euphemism for "dug our high heels into uneven concrete, leaned into the wind at a 90 degree angle, and ignored the 'I hate you' messages screaming up at us from our calves".
12. I find it a serious oversight that San Fran doesn't include railings, safety ropes, and climbing guides for tourists attempting Nob Hill.
13. I spent Sunday morning with my parents and came home with a new pair of shoes (do try to contain your surprise) and two new handbags.
14. My first flight took me to Las Vegas. I landed with 30 minutes to spare between one flight and the next.
15. Thankfully, Vegas offered plenty of diversion for those measly 30 minutes.
16. No, I don't mean the copious amount of slot machines littering the airport.
17. I mean the fact that I exited at gate 24 and my next flight left from gate 5.
18. Racing through the airport in heels, dodging travelers, luggage, and the impulsive gamblers who veered suddenly from their path at the sight of a slot machine, heedless of anyone in their path, was not my idea of fun.
19. I spent part of that rapid journey stuck behind two men in their late twenties or early thirties.
20. At one point, one man looked at the other and said, "I can't wait to be back in L.A. where I can just chillax."
22. Apparently, this gentleman was unaware that in this context "chill" and "relax" are synonymns and don't gain any additional meaning when combined.
23. They do, however, call into question the intelligence of the user when combined.
24. I'm here to tell you, there's an expiration date on trendy words and men in their thirties have passed that date, no matter how baggy they wear their pants.
25. I arrived home just after 2 am (Paul did not make good on his threat to force me to hitchhike) and am so tired today, I can barely form a sentence.
26. Still, I'll be sending out my partials to requesting agents and doing laundry in between taking naps and spending tons of time with my boys.
27. Reader Question: If Hollywood made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?