Bring It On, Beauty Queens!

It's time for everyone's favorite post: the What Key Word Search Landed Some Poor, Hapless Fool On C.J.'s Blog post.

Yeah, I know what you want.

Here's the latest:

1. I'll fix your wagon: I certainly will. Really, who googles this? Bet you didn't expect to land on the site of a woman who writes urban fantasy, adores stilettos, and refuses to eat green beans. Serves you right.

2. Murder scene: May I suggest to you that simply googling "murder scene" is perhaps a tad vague? Of course, you probably already realize this since you ended up here, where all murders are of the fictional variety. Or so I want you to believe...

3. Why stay true to an author's writings?: Do you really need someone else's opinion on this? Stay true to your writings because anything less is a cop out. Or because it's tawdry to copy someone else. Or because pandering to what you think the market will love in two years is a really stupid way to start a novel.

4. What would the death eaters think of you?: Avada Kadavra. There. Question answered.

5. Monkey boy: Did he get out again? *grumbles loudly* No matter how many times I say "stay in your cage or PETA will fry me on the six o'clock news", he insists on running to the store for Cheetos and whipped cream. Stupid primate.

6. Star Wars Clone Wars Zero Hut: I knew this was going to happen. As soon as I began typing that post, I knew this would happen. I'm just relieved none of the Kool Aid drinkers set up camp in the comments section. But in case any fans are reading this particular bit, allow me to tell you that Zero Hut sounds like Boss Hog trying to imitate his wife. It's just not scary. Okay, it is scary but in a totally different way than Lucas intended.

And my personal favorite (because I do love a non-sequitur):

7. This isn't the number 23 this is Sparta and kick her down the aisle: My friend, you are either brilliant or completely insane. Welcome home.