Friday, December 19, 2008

Let 'Er Rip



Once again, we have some new (and some fairly temporary, I'm sure) blog readers to welcome. How did they find us? Let us count the ways.

1. Estrogen Attacks: It certainly does. I hope you found my essay on the subject enlightening. If anything can be learned from my personal experience in the matter, it is this--a wise person steers clear of C.J. when estrogen is on the move. The unwise are rarely heard from again.

2. How to Make Someone Laugh Hard: Well, I'm flattered that such a google led you to this blog. I only hope you browsed the more entertaining entries (such as this, that, or the other) and skimmed the rest as being hilariously funny 24-7 is too much for any woman to bear. When all else fails, however, a little of this usually does the trick.

3. Are Wheel of Fortune Contestants Required to Buy Vowels?: It's like you've never watched the show. Never. Not. Once. Which causes me to be curious as to why you're researching a show you clearly never watch. However, I'll be nice and put you out of your misery. No. Contestants are never required to buy vowels. Sometimes they need to because the jumble of consonants on the board just won't resolve themselves into anything approximating recognizable words, but contestants have the right to muddle through the entire game sans A,E,I,O, or U. Be forewarned, however, that this knowledge will do you no good when faced with the ridiculous paper test required to get oneself onto the WoF show...

And today's favorite:

4. 200 Square Foot Whoopee Cushion: While I do agree that anyone interested in a whoopee cushion of that magnitude will enjoy this blog, I have only this to say--May you never, ever, in any way, become a person of influence in the lives of my boys.

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