Some People Are Just Brilliant
Yesterday, a lady came in to the restaurant and ordered a fried chicken tenderloin salad. The conversation went something like this:
Lady: I'll have a fried chicken tenderloin salad, please. I'm on a diet.
Waitress: *no longer surprised when people offer her personal details like the fact that they're dieting, details of their doctor's visits, or a description of the slew of medication they take each day to keep vital organs running at half speed* Okay. What dressing do you want?
Lady: What do you have?
Waitress: *also no longer surprised that everyone asks this question, even though the dressing options are listed right next to the salads* We have ranch, french, thousand, bleu cheese, honey mustard, italian, and peppercorn. Oh, and we also have fat free dressings, in case that helps with your diet.
Lady: I don't want any of those fat free dressings. They don't taste as good. I'll have ranch. Better make that extra ranch. I like a lot of dressing.
Waitress: So, you want a fried chicken tenderloin salad with extra ranch?
Lady: Yes. Oh. Wait. I'm dieting. That might be a bit much. Better just give me only half the usual amount of lettuce.
Waitress: *pauses to examine this new dieting strategy from all angles* So, you want a fried chicken salad--which comes with our homemade buttery croutons and plenty of cheese--and you want extra ranch, but you only want half the lettuce?
Lady: Yes. I told you. I'm dieting.