Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Holey Rear View, Batman!

1. The other night I came home from work and Starshine ran to give me hug.

2. After hugging me, he pulled back, frowned at me and said "You smell like pancakes."

3. I work at Cracker Barrel. Pancakes are a way of life.

4. He then patted my arm and said, "Don't worry, Mom. It could be worse."

5. *eye roll*

6. I'm surrounded by boys. I know worse.

7. I was in our local Books A Million Saturday night with Myra, trolling the YA section, alternately looking for new titles to read and stopping complete strangers to recommend Demon's Lexicon and Shiver when I stumbled upon a Wonder Woman comic.

8. Long time blog readers will know that in Paul's honor, I simply couldn't pass it up.

9. I grabbed it, started reading, and found the following line (from WW herself): "I won't stop until I put your head on a pole and post it near our latrines."

10. I think she's on to something.

11. The threat of beheading and pole-posting shame isn't nearly as scary if you don't toss in the word "latrine."

12. The Scientist is now an avid iPhone fan and is looking forward to his birthday (nine months from now) in hopes he'll get one as a present.

13. Riiiiight.

14. He took one look at my face after explaining to me how buying him an iPhone would be the best possible move on my part and said, "Man, I hope you get a big fat book deal. My iPhone hopes are depending on it!"

15. Starshine is now taking karate and is quite good at it. It's the first activity he's done where he's able to totally focus on the task at hand.

16. This past Saturday, he took his first belt test and advanced to a yellow belt.

17. This past Sunday, Clint and I had a small run-in with a stomach virus.

18. These two facts are unrelated.

19. Or they would be if Starshine hadn't raised his hand in karate class Monday afternoon and informed his instructor, his fellow students, and all the parents sitting around me, that his mom and dad were throwing up the day before.

20. I was moderately embarrassed.

21. If only I knew ...

22. From karate class, Starshine and I hit our local Kroger for a gallon of milk, which is, of course, located at the very back of our store.

23. After we got home, I was in the kitchen talking to Clint when I realized I had a hole in the seat of my pants.

24. Not along the seam or some other easily hidden area.

25. Right smack dab in the middle of my pants, visible to anyone who, say, sat behind me in the folding chairs at karate class.

26. Now I have reason to be embarrassed.


  1. I don't own anything that doesn't have a hole in it. Or anything less than 5 years old. When I'm on What Not To Wear and they throw away every article of clothing I possess, they'll only need a bathroom-sized trash can to hold it all.

    Primarily because I'll be in prison for slaughtering whoever nomiated me for a television appearance and prison jumpsuits don't take up a lot of can space...

    *changes gears*

    A lot of kids with activity and/or attentional issues do very, very well with martial arts. Also tennis, which doesn't seem to have much in common with karate, but one of my docs recommends it as an alternative to parents who have the knee-jerk negative reaction to the martial arts suggestion.

  2. *giggles*

    I once was informed by a co-worker that my pants had split from the top of my hips all the way down to my knee.

    Yea.. I went home lol

  3. Oh my. I think everyone has an omg there's a hole in my pants story so don't feel too bad. : )

    I've tried to get my son into martial arts so far without success.

    I loved the post! Thanks for sharing

  4. *laughs* RE: #9

    Darn it, all the good lines are taken! :D

  5. What you forgot was that WW also asked the possessor of the soon to be posted head if it would rather face east or west.

    I guess it would all depend on which way the wind was blowing.

    If functioning olfactory senses were an issue.


  6. I love that Starshine would tell you that you smell of pancakes, but not that you have a hole in your pants. I once had a STUDENT tell me I had a hole in my pants. And it was actually more of hip to inner thigh gash just under my left bum cheek. I taught that entire day with a sweatshirt tied around my waist. Stylish.

    My friend, though, has us both beat. He went through an entire yoga class before the guy behind him tapped him on the shoulder and said, "By the way, you have a big hole right in the middle of the seat of your pants." That friend had picked that day to go commando. When questioned, the backyard yoga neighbor said, "I thought you were enjoying the air conditioning."

    Oh. And...
    WW rocks.

    Thanks for the laughs!!

  7. Pancakes is better than liver and onions.

    I think that if you live in a state that thinks Redneck Tank tops are okay, a hole in your pants will hardly be noticeable.

  8. *snort* on the last few there. The only place I ever worry about a hole in the pants is at the gym, you know, when you're doing the hip abduction machines, or whatever they're called.

    Anyhoo, your kids crack me up. And so does your sister. Oh crap, H.C., I'd forgotten about the Redneck tank top! LMAO!


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