Guest Post

I'm a visiting professor at Romance University today discussing the art of writing a synopsis without losing your mind. :)

Today's Interview

Today's scheduled interview has been moved to next Friday for a variety of really good reasons:

1. My hubby injured his knee and couldn't move around the kitchen crafting a cupcake of awesomeness.

2. My scheduled author wants to debut her brand new cover on this blog and doesn't have the green light to make it public until next week.

3. Rabid zombie grasshoppers invaded the Northern Hemisphere, cutting off most internet connections and reducing all inhabitable structures to rubble.

4. You weren't aware of the zombie grasshopper invasion? Sheesh, people. Keep up.

Cell Phone: 1 C.J.: 0

1. As I'm sure you've noticed, I changed the look of this blog last night.

2. I've been wanting to for a long time, but every time I tried, something would go wrong with the layout, and because I'm so NOT a technical genius, I would have no idea how to fix it.

3. I have to give credit to my awesome friend Mandy for sending me a link and walking me through the process. I love that I have people in my life who ENJOY figuring out technical stuff.

4. Speaking of figuring out technical stuff, I have a new cell phone. We sort of hate each other at the moment. It wouldn't let me text correctly (I still can't make the Look Up Contact feature work), it wouldn't save my contacts in any semblance of order, and it defied my every (feeble) attempt to browse through it's options and figure out how to work it.

5. It likes to toy with me. Perhaps it thinks I want its shiny new features more than I want the comfort of a phone I can actually USE and thus refuses to take seriously my many threats to yank its sim card and return to using my old battered phone.

6. My hubby, who has the same Ooh, Shiny! reaction to figuring out gadgets as I do to reading new books, tried for about an hour to tough out my frustration and send me to my phone's manual.

7. That's not how our marriage works.

8. I don't read manuals because they are often incomprehensible to me without a herculean effort of focus and concentration and even then, the technical info raises my blood pressure until I want to scream and throw the phone against the wall because it's just not worth it. He reads manuals cover to cover and spends an hour he could've spent doing any number of truly enjoyable things tinkering with his new gadgets.

9. Yes, I'm a technological curmudgeon. I don't want an iPad, and iPhone, a Kindle or a fancy navigation system in my car. Those things don't look exciting to me. They look stressful.

10. About the time I began to think my battle with my new cell phone was going to make me cry (I'd already decided I would never be able to text my friends again), my hubby took pity on me, stepped in, and helped me navigate through the stupidly complicated features on my phone.

11. I still don't know how to work most of it, but at least it no longer takes me thirty minutes to respond to a text.

12. Apropos of nothing, Starshine walked in to the living room the other night and said, "Dad? When are you going to have that conversation with me? You know. The conversation about ... I can't even say it."

13. My hubby said, "Well, when do you want to have the conversation?"

14. Starshine spent a moment in deep thought and then said, "February 13, 2011."

15. And so we've penciled him in.

16. I've begun the new YA manuscript I pitched to Holly.

17. In a totally shocking development, the entire story is plotted out. The big stuff, anyway. I still get to discover how to make from one big plot point to the next, but I know what needs to happen and where I'm going.

18. I'm as surprised by this as anyone.

19. We'll see how much of it remains true once I get into the story.

20. I'd love to stay and chat more with you today, but I have three boys frantically putting the finishing touches on a clean garage so they can go to the pool. Time to go slather on the sunscreen and hit the water.

Winner FIRST DROP OF CRIMSON

Thank you to all who entered the contest for a signed copy of Jeaniene Frost's FIRST DROP OF CRIMSON! As always, I used random.org to help me choose the winner and the winner is: Werecat1!

Congratulations!! Please get in touch with me so I can forward your info on to Jeaniene. Thanks for reading!

Interview With Jeaniene Frost

When people ask me to recommend a paranormal author for them to try, the first name out of my mouth is always Jeaniene Frost. Her writing is fast-paced, compelling, and fun. Her plots twist and turn, her characters are vivid, and I can't wait to gobble up everything she writes. If you're a vampire fan, this is the author you should be reading. Trust me.

Her latest book, FIRST DROP OF CRIMSON, is just as awesome as the others. I devoured it in one day. Here's a peek at the book:

The night is not safe for mortals.

Denise MacGregor knows all too well what lurks in the shadows – her best friend is half-vampire Cat Crawfield – and she has already lost more than the average human could bear. But her family’s dark past is wrapped in secrets and shrouded in darkness – and a demon shapeshifter has marked Denise as prey. Now her survival depends on an immortal who craves a taste of her.

He is Spade, a powerful, mysterious vampire who has walked the earth for centuries and is now duty-bound to protect this endangered, alluring human – even if it means destroying his own kind. Denise may arouse his deepest hungers, but Spade knows he must fight his urge to have her as they face the demon nightmare together…

Because once the first drop of crimson falls, they will both be lost.

I'm thrilled to have Jeaniene on the blog today. She chose to be interviewed by the always smooth Captain Jack Sparrow.

Captain Jack



Jeaniene Frost



Now that you know who's who, it's time to dive into the interview and reveal the super awesome cupcake my hubby made for Jeaniene. Since Spade is a vampire (and thus, technically, dead) and the book is about the first drop of crimson, my hubby made a tombstone for Spade complete with a serious set of vampire fangs piercing the stone and, of course, blood. Without further ado, I give you the cupcake and Jeaniene's interview with Captain Jack.



1. Would you classify yourself as a pirate or a member of Her Majesty’s Royal navy? Why?

I wouldn’t want to be a member of the Royal Navy that was portrayed in your movies, that’s for sure. But in reality, I’d probably pick the Navy. Piracy looks like fun, but it has an awful version of a 401K (that would be a hangman’s rope, if I recall), and I seem to remember people acting as if you and the other pirates were – how shall I say this delicately? – a bit ripe in the aroma area. No one wants to be Sir or Sister Smelly if they can avoid it, in my opinion.


2. *sniffs the air* I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, love. What’s your favorite thing to do in Tortuga?

Oh, it would be so awesome to roam about 18th century Tortuga with a camera! Imagine all the incredible things you’d see when it was run solely by pirates. Of course, you’d need a lot of body guards to go along with that camera. Probably need lots of hand sanitizer, too. And a mask for the smell. And ye gods, it would’ve been hot there without air conditioning invented yet. Not to mention lack of bathroom facilities, or toothpaste, or deodorant, or…

You know what? I think I’ll skip Tortuga, thanks anyway ;-).


3. *raises a brow* Forgive me for pointing this out, my dear, but I detect an unhealthy obsession with personal hygiene. You may want to consider loosening the corset a bit. I’m offering you free passage aboard my ship to anywhere in the world. Where shall we go, love?

England first, then Scotland. Would love to visit both those places. England has so many monuments, galleries, and cemeteries that I want to see, and Scotland has Loch Ness, countless historical areas, men in skirts, and everyone talking in cool brogues. As for traveling by boat – why, Jack, how did you know that I hated to fly??


4. If we were meant to fly, why would God have given us boats? I am a trifle concerned about your desire to see men in skirts, but to each his own, I always say. Who is the hero of your story most like: me (savvy, debonair, and unquestionably smooth with the ladies), the insufferably honorable Will Turner, or that deceptive little minx Elizabeth?

The hero in FIRST DROP OF CRIMSON, Spade, is like a mix of you and Will Turner, actually. Spade is suave, definitely debonair, has no trouble getting dates, but also has a strong streak of honor. And a dangerous streak if crossed. He’s a great man to have at your back in a fight, but you wouldn’t want to tick him off.

And, uh, since Spade is a vampire and can control where the blood goes in his body, he never has to worry about his “compass” being broken, whereas I seem to remember you had some problems with your compass, Jack. Hee hee!


5. Rum? Or more rum? Not that I'm sharing a single drop of rum with someone who casts aspersions upon my compass. I was tired. And a bit stressed from being hunted by everyone and their parrot. Also, it was cold. *guzzles rum and glares*

Neither. I don’t drink alcohol, but I am a caffeine addict, so it’s coffee in the morning for me – and you do NOT want to ever stand in the way of me and my coffee – and then Coke Zero the rest of the day for me.


6. Coffee and Coke Zero, eh? How kind of you to leave all the rum to me. Which leads me to the age old question: Why is the rum always gone?

Really, Jack, has anyone told you that you might want to check out an AA meeting? Just sayin’…


7. First you question my compass, now you want to divest me of my rum forever? A pox upon you. What’s the most piratish thing you’ve ever done? Besides try to take my rum.

Hmm. Probably getting drunk and then leaping off a moving boat into the Atlantic Ocean – which might explain better than anything else why I no longer drink. Some people can’t handle their liquor. I am definitely one of those people.


8. My darling, if I had a gold coin for every time I leaped from a moving boat into the ocean, I'd be rich. Are they rules? Or more like guidelines?

Rules, of course. If you don’t know what the rules are, how will you know when it’s a good idea to break them? And if there were no rules, then there would be no rebels, and how boring would the world be without rebels?


9. I may have misjudged you. In the same way you misjudged my compass. Lace up your corset again and welcome aboard! Any friend to rebels is a friend of mine. I understand you’re a story-teller. Any undead monkeys in your stories?

No undead monkeys. Lots of undead other things, though. My hero is a vampire. My heroine is a human who gets branded by a demon, which is my villain. Add that to ghosts, ghouls, and some occasional black magic, and you have a lot more dangerous creatures than an undead monkey.


10. Spoken like a woman who's never run afoul of an undead monkey. *shudders* Any curses? Heartless monsters? Irritating women who insist on taking matters into their own hands?

Curses, no. Heartless monsters, sure, but those aren’t as easy to spot as you think in my books. What makes someone a monster isn’t limited to whether that person is human or not. Monstrosity comes from within first. Irritating women who take matters into their own hands? Of course! If all women just sat there and waited for men to rescue them, they’d die of old age. Or get killed by the villain, whichever came first.


11. One of my favorite words is “egregious.” Care to share one of yours, love?

Obfuscation. It’s defined as deliberately making communication unnecessarily hard to understand. Don’t you love the irony of a big, confusing word being chosen to show that using big, confusing words in speech makes it harder for people to understand you?


12. I've always adored irony. Parlay? Or draw your sword?

If you asked me, I’d say parlay all the way, baby! Lol. But if you asked my characters, they would draw their swords. And then talk about negotiating.


13. There's nothing wrong with parlaying your head off a chopping block so you can live to fight another day. You’ve got a crowd of cursed sailors and a nasty sea monster on your trail. How do you escape?

Easy. Call the head of a television network and pitch a new reality show called Survivor: Pirates Cove, with the condition that I’ll tell him/her where all these fabulous, money-making creatures are as long as I’m rescued from them. See? *grin* Told you I’m all about the parlaying instead of fighting.


14. Your parlaying skills are formidable, my love. Romantic night in? Or adventure on the high seas?

With how little free time I’ve had lately, this is a no-brainer. Romantic night in! Preferably with the phone, internet, TV, DVD, and cell phones disconnected. It’s so hard to get uninterrupted time with my husband, so that sounds more appealing to me than a high seas adventure. Besides, hubby’s prone to seasickness anyway.

15. My dear, I don't believe I invited your husband to come along. My personal motto is: Take what you want, give nothing back. What’s yours?

The only difference between an author and a schizophrenic is a paycheck.


Thank you, Jeaniene, for such a fun interview! And for writing such awesome stories. To learn more about Jeaniene and her books, please visit her website. You can also go here to see the book trailer for FIRST DROP OF CRIMSON and to read the first 20% of the book for free. Of course, the fun isn't over yet!

Jeaniene's Giveaway:

One lucky commenter will win a signed copy of FIRST DROP OF CRIMSON! International entries welcome. Here's how to enter:

1. Earn entries:

*Comment on this post with a question or comment for Jeaniene = 1 entry

*Be a follower of this blog = 2 entries

*Tweet the link to this interview = 3 entries (Use @cjredwine or leave url to tweet in your comment so I can see it.)

*Post the contest on your blog = 3 entries (Include link in your comment.)


2. Tally it up: Please tally up your entries and leave the total in your comment.


3. Check back: The contest is open until 8 p.m. Saturday, May 22nd. Please check back to see if you've won and to claim your prize!


Good luck to all, and happy reading!

Things I've Learned Recently

I shamelessly stole this post idea from my friend Kerry Allen on the (perhaps erroneous) assumption she's too busy to hunt me down and make me pay for the theft.



1. Someone actually makes a product called Anti-Monkey Butt Powder. This is wrong on so many levels. First, who goes around complaining of monkey-butt? Second, even if you had a raging case of monkey-butt (Symptoms include scratching like a ball player and consuming sickening amounts of bananas), would you honestly be willing to publicly purchase the product pictured above? Also? If you're dating, this might be the deal breaker when your special someone goes through your medicine cabinet.

2. I channel Hannibal Lecter when given sedation. I imagine my picture now graces the walls of the local hospital with the slogan "If you see this girl, guard your internal organs lest they be turned into a delicious pie."

3. I truly do love pie.

4. I think my friend Kerry should bake me a pie. A thieving blogger pie. Including a nurse's liver is, of course, optional.

5. Spastic Kitten has truly lost what little slice of kitty sanity she had left. She now spends her days crouched on the floor staring at a small smudge about five feet up on our glass storm door. Every few minutes, she'll leap into the air, slam into the glass door, and then slide to the floor. I could clean the smudge, but she seems so amused and hey, she's attacking a glass door instead of me. I'm okay with that.

6. I have no arts and crafts skillz. I already knew that, of course, but apparently my hubby was laboring under the notion that some small smidgen of talent lurked within me and I was just holding back on him. Last Friday, he was working to get a cake done for a client's party and needed the following made out of fondant: 96.3 When he delegated that task to me and I expressed my (not inconsiderable) doubts as to my ability to execute this (sort of scary) feat, he assured me it was as easy as playing with play doh. Clearly, he's never seen me play with play doh. I rolled fondant snakes and sort of smooshed them into reasonable facsimiles of the numbers and then made a totally awesome cube for the period. He took one look at my efforts, manfully maintained a straight face for about .00000008 seconds, and then started laughing. When I glared and said "I told you I couldn't do it!" he wisely complimented my cube and used it on the cake. I doubt he'll be asking for my help again any time soon.

7. Dexter is an addiction. I'm totally unable to watch just one episode once I start.

Winners: Chelsea Campbell Giveaway

Thank you to all who entered the Chelsea Campbell giveaway! I hope you'll head to your nearest bookstore and snag a copy of THE RISE OF RENEGADE X soon. It's so worth it! The winners of this contest are:

Winner of the signed, hardback copy of RenX: Mundie Moms KatieB!
Winner of a signed bookmark: Sherry (@ Flipping Pages), Lanae T, and Allison!

Ladies, please leave your email addy in the comments so I can get your mailing info and forward it on to Chelsea. Thanks for reading!