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Showing posts from February, 2008

Just For Fun

I'm currently

reading: WHAT THE DEAD KNOW by Laura Lippman (incredible author!)

listening to: UNDERWORLD SOUNDTRACK (thank you Paul!)

writing: SHADOWING FATE, outlining the following 4 books in the series, and fleshing out another idea for a series (Nope, not the one with Earl. Yet.)

wishing: for a magic wand to wave over my ironing pile. =D

Poker Face

Beware the Logophile

Logophile: someone who loves words.

Not to be confused with Legophile: someone (usually male) who loves small pieces of plastic that can be planted like tiny, primary-colored mines in the fibers of a bedroom's carpet, waiting for an unsuspecting mother to crush them into her bare foot while tending to her children in the middle of the night.

I discovered two new words today.

One, I find incredibly ridiculous in a fascinating sort of way.

Pulchritudinous: beautiful, gorgeous, lovely.

One wonders why this gem of a word hasn't made its way onto the glossy cover of millions of Valentine's cards. Smart is sexy, right? Although since the pronunciation of this word is highly reminiscent of the mouth-motions made immediately before vomiting, perhaps only someone as suave as say - George Clooney or Pierce Brosnen could carry it off.

The other word just made me laugh. All of my friends tease me about my proliferous use of fancy words. Now they can use a fancy word of their own to des…

A Kindred Spirit

Two nights ago, I took my oldest, The Scientist, to Target so he could spend his birthday money on Nerf blasters and Tech Decks (little finger skateboards with cool designs underneath that, I am assured by my children, are the toy to have at school).

Naturally, I do not enter Target without also browsing through the clearance in each section of interest to me (you know...handbags, accessories, clothing, shoes...). It didn't take long for The Scientist to announce his boredom and arrange to meet up with me in the toy department when I was finished rumaging through hoodies marked down to $3 each.

I let him go. It's more fun for everyone that way.

My browsing was cut short, however, by a young mother with a furious toddler captured inside her cart. The little girl was screaming at the top of her lungs and, while I couldn't understand most of what she said, the volume conveyed her meaning with exquisite clarity.

The mother, while undoubtedly taking the wisest course of action by…

LOL

Yes, yes, I'm addicted. I didn't make this one personally. I'll post links to the ones I make so you can vote on my crazy sense of humor. =)


Monday's List

1. Talk about doing this first thing on Monday. It's 12:36 a.m.

2. Just got home from watching Jumper with Kailani.

3. Would have been a great movie if you removed whiny Rachel Bilson and wooden Hayden Christensen.

4. I am, once more, irritated with my computer/email/technology in general.

5. My friend and I have debated the merits of goat's milk as an acceptable form of liquid refreshment and concluded that few beverage options could possibly be worse.

6. Anything coming from a bison comes to mind.

7. Well, ewww. I just grossed myself out.

8. Moving on.

9. As per our most recent survey, it looks like most of the readers here are die-hard C.S. Lewis fans. Can't blame anyone for sticking with the master.

10. Made more lolcat pics. Here's a link to one: lolcat

11. Told you I was becoming an addict.

12. My laundry is now manageable again.

13. Shouldn't take my boys long to fix that.

14. Katy, feedback arrives today (although much later today since I'm off to bed in a secon…

LOL

This is me on coedine...

Lolcat

Check out the new lolcat pic I made. All the funny cat pics I've posted here have been created by someone else but I've been bitten by the lolcat bug now...

And while you're there, feel free to rate the pic - there's a five cheeseburger rating system. =)

For Paul

10 Questions Every Boy's Mother Wants Answered

1. Why do toy makers find it necessary to weld large, unbreakable plastic toys to their cardboard containers with no less than five thick, barely flexible plastic cables?

2. Why do fast food restaurants dispense ketchup to children in packets that can easily be transformed into condiment-squirting missiles with one well-placed stomp of the foot? And shouldn't a pile of extra napkins be an automatic addition to any tray bearing food for boys?

3. Why do grocery stores put delicately balanced pyramids of produce at elbow/head/shoulder reach of a 7 year old boy?

4. Why do cities make beautiful parks full of swing sets and jungle gyms and then put the one bench available for parents as far away from any semblance of shade as possible?

5. Why can't someone figure out how to produce a tube of diaper cream with a child-resistant top? Ditto for toothpaste. And shaving cream.

6. Why can't the makers of Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser turn their attention to stain removal from boys' play…

Amazon Contest Update

Today, Amazon cut the entries down to the top 100 in each category. They never gave us a date for doing this, just the date (March 3rd) for posting the top 10 entries, so it was a bit of a surprise but hey, it's their first contest. There are bound to be bugs.

Anyway, I had solid reviews (average 4.9 stars) but not enough reviews to make the 100 cut. So, a big THANK YOU to everyone who took the time to review my excerpt and write a review. I appreciate it and I'm okay with the results. Editors read my work and something may come of that and I already have this novel in another contest where editors select the winners so we'll see how that goes. =)

Off to assuage my bruised ego by writing another chapter (wherein Alexa learns how to kill Cain...)

10 Random Things

1. Saw Spiderwick Chronicles last night with Kailani and LOVED IT!! It was action-packed, the plot held up well, and the visuals were really cool.

2. It snowed this morning which meant the kids thought school would be cancelled because in mid-Tennessee, that's usually what they do. Thankfully, the county had their heads on straight this morning and school is in session.

3. Starshine does not want to drink water now because he's convinced there are water spiders in it. SEE??? This is why science should be an optional subject.

4. My laundry pile has reached critical mass.

5. Hubby has three cakes to bake this week...a train engine, a treasure chest, and a black cake with flames around the sides and an electric guitar coming out of the top.

6. I love the movie Clue. (Flames!! On the side of my face!!)

7. Green beans ruin anything they touch.

8. When my parents were visiting, my Dad proved himself to be an amateur in the "Proper Etiquette And Use of Lavatory Facilities in a Hom…

LOL

This one totally reminds me of my cat Taz when she was a kitten. On my hubby's first meal with my family, my mom cooked lasagne. We'd already explained the origins of Taz's name to my hubby but either he failed to believe our claims of a small feline Tasmanian Devil or he seriously underestimated the lengths to which she would go to procur something to her liking. My mom had already dished a serving of lasagne onto my hubby's plate but he was lingering at the sink to wash his hands (or making some other rookie mistake). Before anyone could react, a black blur raced through the dining room, leaped to his chair, and one furry black paw swiped across his plate, sending the entire serving of lasagne flying onto the floor.

Lesson learned.


Week In Review

1. Starshine + markers + glue stick + infatuation with Star Wars = Darth Maul where Darth Maul should never go.

2. Honestly, who flushes K-nex???????

3. Turns out I don't like sparkling grape juice very much. Tastes flowery.

4. Hearing the words "Hey Mom! I washed the dog!" causes an instant adrenaline rush.

5. Especially when mud was involved in lieu of soap.

6. The Scientist loves texting just a little too much. (As evidenced by the fact that after bedtime, he now texts me to tell on his little brothers.)

7. Knighthood on Facebook is addicting.

8. Girl Scout cookies (and, by proxy, Girl Scouts themselves) are of the Devil.

9. My mother finally has a cell phone and knows how to text. Now to get her hooked on an ipod...

10. People who do not wish to appear ridiculously unintelligent should refrain from throwing tantrums over the fact that we ran out of potato soup after the dinner rush.

11. Also, people should not throw tantrums over the lack of buttermilk to drink.

12. Although…

Political Wisdom

Gathered over the years:

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."
-Mark Twain


Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress... But then I repeat myself.
-Mark Twain


I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like
a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-Winston Churchill



A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-George Bernard Shaw



Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have dinner.
-James Bovard, Civil Libertarian



Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
-P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian


Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
-Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)



I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report …

Flowers and Candy and Cards - OH MY!

I loved Valentine's Day as a kid. What kid doesn't? You get to carve out an hour of school time to gather in envelopes full of free candy while you munch on heart-shaped sugar cookies and guzzle fruit punch.

As an adult, I find I really don't care. I don't like chocolate. I'm allergic to flowers. And I buy my own jewelry.

Don't get me wrong - I love to celebrate romance with my hubby. I just don't need a day set aside for it.

Because I'm of the slightly cynical opinion that Valentine's Day is a conspiracy put together by a high-level corporate conglomerate consisting (yay! alliteration!) of Hershey's, Hallmark, and 1-800-Flowers, I thought I'd go to Hallmark's website to find a list of days set aside for card-sending, chocolate-consuming, or flower-buying.

Here's what I found:

Valentine's Day 2/14: How can I possibly take seriously a holiday whose mascot is a chubby naked man-baby with wings and a glittering bow and arrow?


A…

LOL

Since You've Been Gone

It's been too long since I blogged, but I have two excellent excuses.

1. My internet didn't work for 4 or 5 days. (I blame Paul, though I have no concrete proof.)

2. My parents have been visiting from California for the last week and to say we've been busy is to make the first GIGANTIC understatement of the year.

So...what's been happening in the week since I last blogged?

1. My oldest, The Scientist (aka The Lawyer), turned 10. I don't feel old enough to have a 10 year old but since he looks like my hubby and I vividly remember the 26 hours of labor, I have to admit the strong possibility that he is, indeed, mine.

2. We gave The Scientist a cell phone for his birthday with rules like "Only call those on your contact list" and "Don't answer any call from a number you don't know" and "Text us in the middle of the night and die a slow and horrible death".

3. The Scientist was showing the features of his cell phone to his younger brot…

Vocabulary Lesson For Men

Thanks, Mom and Marilyn, for the hilarious email!

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That…