C.J. Redwine

I interrupt what I'm sure is a fascinating midweek evening for you with the following important tidbits of news:

1. I was recently informed by a co-worker that she found me an incredibly intimidating person for over a year. This is news because unless you mess with my family or hurt my friends, I might be one of the easiest girls in the world to approach. I was baffled by her response to me until I realized the obvious: she has an internal ninja radar. It's the only possible answer. Somehow she looked past my fantastically graceless, laughs inappropriately ALL THE TIME red-headed exterior and saw my silent inner harbinger of death.

2. I only have three openings left in August's Plotting Workshop so if you're interested in learning story structure, pacing, tools (for both Pantsers and Plotters...I don't believe anyone writes the same way and don't seek to change your preferred approach), and a personal 1 hour brainstorming session with me, please register before …

This summer, I decided to try something new. I bought flip flops. Now, I've owned flip flops before. One pair. To use only when I went to the neighborhood pool. But owning several pair of flip flops to use for things like being seen in public? Never.

But friends loved their flip flops. Everyone was wearing them. They were less effort than my heels, so I thought I'd give them a try.

Disastrous.

Mostly because the rubber piece in between my big toe and second toe literally wore a HOLE into my foot that was deep enough to force me to bandage it for days.

Awesome.

I can't ever remember a time my stilettos put me in danger of losing a toe.

So, after my summer Flip Flop Experiment, I've compiled a completely scientific and thoroughly unbiased list of my results.

TOP TEN REASONS STILETTOS ARE BETTER THAN FLIP FLOPS

1. Flip flops sound like a fly swatter slapping a brick wall as you walk. Sexy!! Stilettos make a tiny little pop against the floor--a measured cadence that says both &…

1. I'm posting my weekly list a bit early.

2. Because I can never tell when I might be kidnapped by wereplatypi again and held for lemon bar ransom.

3. Last week, while driving through southern Nashville, I spotted a beauty parlor with the following auspicious moniker: Hair Mafia.

4. Where taking a little off the top takes on a whole new meaning and nobody wants Joey's Pedicure Special.

5. I might have to go there once just to say I did.

6. Starshine has decided what he wants to be for Halloween this year.

7. He would like to dress up as Fiber.

8. No, that isn't a typo.

9. Fiber.

10. And he wants to wear a cape, a Darth Vader belt, and pack some heat.

11. Fiber, whether you like it or not.

12. May the Force go through you.

13. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

14. Every day I drive to work, I pass a house whose inhabitants might just be brilliant.

15. I say this because they run a business out of their home. The sign beside their driveway reads "Top Soil and Manure For Sale."

16. …

1. Last week at work I met Miley Cyrus.

2. No, really.

3. I know. It was the highlight of my life, believe me.

4. She came in to the restaurant with her boyfriend for dinner.

5. Girl is way too skinny.

6. And yes, I pretended I didn't recognize her. I hate the whole fawning-all-over-celebrity thing.

7. But honestly, she didn't act like she wanted to be recognized. Very low key. Unlike some celebrities who come into the restaurant.

8. Like ... Nick of the Backstreet Boys.

9. I never listened to the Backstreet Boys, so when Nick came in I didn't recognize him.

10. In fact, most of the patrons didn't recognize him either.

11. Because this is Nashville. We have HUGE celebrities coming in to eat all the time. Like George Jones. Naomi Judd. Even, on occasion, Jordin Sparks.

12. And because when's the last time anyone saw or heard from the Backstreet Boys?

13. Anyway, one of the girls I work with pointed him out to me and assured me it was Nick Carter.

14. I ranked this piece of…

As always, I used random.org to help me pick this week's giveaway winner. And the winner of a signed copy of Helen Taylor Scott's THE PHOENIX CHARM is wantonactsofwriting!

Thanks for reading. :)

In my continuing quest to take over the Internet one blog site at a time, I've been interviewed by Jabba the Cat over on Wanton Acts of Writing. It's possible duct tape, rum, and ninjas were mentioned.

It's also possible I got a tad snarky in the comment trail.

Against Wordpress.

Who thinks it's funny to mess with a stiletto-wearing ninja.

It's ON.

I'm thrilled to have my fellow Pixie Helen Scott Taylor on the blog today. Helen writes paranormal books steeped in Celtic lore, suspense, and magic. You'll fall in love with both her characters and the rich world they inhabit. If you love fairies, action, and sizzling romance, you'll love her books! When Helen agreed to be interviewed on the blog with her latest release, THE PHOENIX CHARM, I was thrilled! Here's a peek at THE PHOENIX CHARM:

Respectable wise woman Cordelia restrains her secret water nymph sensuality with the Celtic symbols painted on her skin. But Michael’s powerful fairy glamour leaves her breathless, off balance, struggling for control. When Gwyn ap Nudd, the Welsh King of the Underworld, steals away Michael’s infant nephew, Cordelia must work with him to save the child. But how can she trust her instincts with Michael tempting her to explore the hidden elemental depths of her nature and insisting that she believe in the power of…The Phoenix Charm.

Hel…

Today, I've taken over Myra McEntire's blog while she's held hostage by the Revision Duck Mafia. Go forth, my minions, and comment freely!

Also, I posted the writing workshop schedule for August and September which includes a plotting workshop (NOT synonymous with brainwashing writers into One Right Way To Plot, but definitely synonymous with teaching writers basic story structure, equipping them with various tools, and spending an hour one on one brainstorming their plot.) and a query workshop.

I've also answered interview questions for two other bloggers and will let you know when those interviews go live. You should know I threaten cannibalism in one of them.

1. So last week I was a terrible blogger.

2. I have good reason, though. Being kidnapped and held for ransom by rogue were-platypi isn't exactly the easiest experience to endure.

3. All those webbed feet! All those chattering beaks!

4. I got tired of waiting for ransom to arrive and fought my way to freedom with the clever use of tongs, a Bette Midler cd, and duct tape.

5. Worked like a charm.

6. I forgot to keep my personalities in their separate cages last week at work. (I tone it down A LOT at work. They don't think so. They think I'm hilariously funny but relatively normal. They don't realize I've rejected the first three responses that came to mind because, yanno, I'm at work and most people there wouldn't know what to do in a conversation about Zombie Goats or Were-llamas.)

7. Also, they don't realize I'm a ninja.

8. But, whatever.

9. Anyway, I forgot and made an off-hand comment to a group of new employees wherein I threatened them all with Belly-but…

I've been abducted by a rogue band of chopstick wielding wereplatypi! They've held me hostage for days, hence the reason I haven't been able to blog.

Please send a pan of lemon bars as ransom so I can resume blogging soon!

Before I announce the winner of the signed copy of DEMON'S LEXICON by Sarah Rees Brennan (that undergarment-wearing, nun-crushing instigator of the highly secretive Butter Incident!), I have to say the commenters did NOT make it easy on me. Why?

Because the first number to pop up belonged to the Adult Diaper spammer (I guess you mention undergarments enough in a post and you're really just bringing it on yourself.). The next one belonged to someone who opted out of the giveaway because she already owned the book. The next one belonged to someone who ALSO opted out of the giveaway for the same reason.

It was at this point that I realized I'd neglected to make my customary spreadsheet. We'll chalk that one up to a long day in the sun after a week of too little sleep, shall we?

Once I had my spreadsheet with all the qualifying entries tallied, it was simple! With no further ado, the winner of the signed copy of DL is red_reaper! Since you left me your email in the comments, …