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Showing posts from May, 2009

The Fate Trilogy

Today, I put together blurbs for the next two books in the Fate trilogy so my awesome agent Holly could use them in the submission process if necessary. I'll post these with the following caveat:

Warning! Pantser in Progress! Plot subject to change for no good reason!

Twisting Fate:

Grace McLeod—half human/half monster out of Greek mythology, wife to math teacher Ian McLeod, mom to little Anna—is losing her mind to the one person who knows her better than she knows herself: her twin, Vincent. All the medication in the world can’t drown out Vincent’s sly cruel voice and when he begins attacking people through Grace, she leaves her family without explanation and goes into hiding, determined to cut herself off from those Vincent longs to hurt. Unswayed by her husband’s pleas or Vincent’s anger, Grace lives in a fog of anti-depressants and fear until one phone call changes everything: Anna has been kidnapped. And Grace knows who’s responsible.

Now Grace and Ian must work together, though …

Top Ten Highlights From Our Foray Into Beech Bend Park

We spent a day at Kentucky's Beech Bend Park two weeks ago and it was a perfect day because it was just cold enough to keep most of the crowds at home. There were literally no lines for anything. Probably sixty people total in the whole park. Beech Bend is this really cool mix of modern rides (wooden coaster, log ride, other coasters etc) and vintage carnival rides like Bobsleds, Swings, and that ridiculous spinning sphere where those who enjoy revisiting their lunch pay for the privilege of whirling around so fast they destroy their equilibrium for the rest of the day. They also have a huge selection of kiddie rides and a cool water park so there's always something for everyone in the family to do. Here's the best of what happened while we were there.

1. The Ferris Wheel: I don't do Ferris Wheels. I know, it's sort of crazy since I'm such an adrenalin junkie with coasters, but Ferris Wheels don't inspire adrenalin in me. They inspire fear. There's nothi…

Redneck Tank Top

Take a close look. Note the extra seam where a seam shouldn't be unless you have family jewels to arrange.

There are so many things wrong with this, I hardly know where to start.

First, the obvious. What woman in her right mind substitutes men's tighty-whities (or not-so-whities) for a tank top? Or, for that matter, substitutes men's tighty-whities for any article of clothing? Especially in public.

Second, the underwear in question has been clearly altered. On purpose. As in Not By Accident. Someone looked at them, thought to themselves "Hey! Without that pesky crotch in the way, these make a pretty fine tank top!", grabbed their scissors and hacked away.

And I do mean hacked. The cut is uneven, the edges are jagged, there's been no attempt to make the neckline look like anything other than a sabotaged crotch. Perhaps it's too much to expect a woman who chooses to wear men's underwear upside down and crotch-less to take a modicum of pride in her tailor…

Starshine vs. The New Tattoo

1. No, this pic isn't indicative of how my weekend went. :)

2. Especially since we all know alcohol and C.J. are a bad combination.

3. My hubby got my initials tattooed on his ring finger yesterday.

4. He's allergic to metal and can't wear a wedding band so he decided to do this instead.

5. My kids, every last one of them, tried to talk him out of it.

6. Cries of "Just get a temporary tattoo!" and "Don't do it!" filled the air until my hubby and I looked at each other and said, "Isn't this opposite the natural order of things?"

7. Our kids also tell us to turn our music down...

8. After my hubby left the house, Starshine wandered in looking for him. When I told him where his father had gone, Starshine threw his hands up in the air and said, "Great! Now my dad's going to come home looking hideous!"

9. Here's a pic:



10. On the docket this week: interviewing Jeaniene Frost and Lisa Mantchev, being interviewed by MeanKitty, and re…

The Dangers of Silicone Valley

Last night, on American Idol, Kara totally showed-up Bikini Girl by joining her onstage and proving, without a doubt, that she can sing little miss Oops I Left The Rest Of My Outfit At The Store under the table.

Bikini Girl was mad. Humiliated. Uncomfortable.

It was a moment.

I found myself feeling a spark of compassion for Bikini Girl as she stood there flaunting her newly paid-for breasts and the tiny triangle of fabric she must have super glued to her skin to avoid a wardrobe malfunction. She was totally set up. She thought she was being given an honest award for best attitude (which shows just how far into the land of Oblivion she lives) and a chance to finally showcase her, um, talent for America. Instead, Kara took over and finished the song with a voice that made Bikini Girl's sound like the weak, shaky, non-musical instrument it truly was.

My spark of compassion flickered and died, however, when I remembered Bikini Girl's behavior over the course of the season. I think th…

Yay For Prizes!

Query Tracker is turning two and they're having a carnival to celebrate. Enter to win a truly amazing prize--your own website designed for FREE! =) Go here for the details.

Romance University

A new blog, called Romance University, is kicking off today with a fantastic interview with NYT's best-selling author Brenda Novak. I've linked this blog to my sidebar and encourage authors, both pubbed and un-pubbed, to check it out. Some great stuff on their calendar this week!

It's Alive!

1. I used this pic today because my writing To Do list has teeth. At least for today.

2. If I finish everything on my list today, I will feel significantly less stress and tomorrow will be a fun research TF, SK, and T10 day!

3. Yes, those are the next three novels I'm working on, though most of my time and effort is going into TF since I'm hoping to be under contract for the Fate series soon.

4. This past weekend was jam packed, although mostly with good stuff.

5. Weekends, for me, start on Saturday morning since I work Friday nights.

6. And speaking of work--FYI to the gentleman sporting the mullet and the Real Men Drink Tennessee Whiskey wife beater who ate in my section and bemoaned your inability to find a good woman: You've already got two strikes against you. Wadding up your chewing gum, smooshing it onto the table, and announcing you're saving it for later is the nail in the coffin of your marriage prospects, my friend.

7. I am soooo going to write a series set in the…

Top 10 Weirdest Items For Sale

1. One wad of (slightly used!) gum: Who wouldn't want this? It's colorful. It's unique. It looks amazing in its crystal bowl. And everyone knows germs don't live in saliva so it's totally safe!



2. An Electronic Yodelling Pickle: Because everyone knows yodelling and pickles go together like...like...like Snoop Dogg and opera!



3. Moose Poop Nugget Necklace: Because really, what girl doesn't want to accessorize with petrified animal poop?



4. Cheeseburger In A Can: When Spam just won't cut it.



5. Pistol Egg Fryer: For those who like the start their mornings with a bang.



6. Shocking Tanks: It's like laser tag with a kick! Tired of shooting at your opponent only to have him claim you never hit him? Now you can shoot your opponent and every hit scored with cause his hand-held remote to shock him! Hours of fun. Might be best if you avoid playing in the rain, however.

*My favorite part of this toy is the warning label on the package stating that the toy might not be …

Today is Release Day!

Today is the day Lili St. Crow's STRANGE ANGELS officially hits bookstore shelves. Scroll down to see a trailer for the book. Head to her website for more SA fun. Take my word that if you love her writing as Lilith Saintcrow, you'll love SA and go buy it already.

(No, she isn't paying me to do promo for her. I volunteered because I really enjoyed the book. However, there was some mention of her possibly making lemon bars...)

It's All Fun & Games Until The Words Stop Flowing

Writing is fun. Except when it's not. Some days the ideas flow so fast, I need three files open on my computer just to keep up. Some days, I sit and glare at my blinking cursor which, despite multiple death threats against it AND it's mother, refuses to just write something already.

Sometimes, the dry spells, the I-dread-sitting-at-my-computer spells, last. They fill up a day, spill into the next and the next and before I know it, three weeks have passed and I'm still struggling with a chapter that stubbornly resists my every attempt to find it's shape, texture, and weight.

Sometimes, my characters stop speaking to me. Sometimes they hover just out of reach and nothing I do brings them closer.

I'll be honest. I don't like the times when writing isn't fun. I don't like struggling for the words, knowing when I re-read the next morning, most of what I wrote won't be worth keeping anyway. I don't like wringing dialogue out of reluctant characters whos…

From The Mouth Of Daredevil

Daredevil has thick hair with gorgeous ringlets and waves in it. He used to wear it short but decided a while ago he wanted to grow it out a bit. As a result, we spend time every morning trying to tame his hair (think Harry Potter!) with water and a hairbrush.

The other day, while we were working on his hair before school, we had the following conversation:

DD: Why do you have to brush my hair with water every time I get ready to go anywhere?

Me: Because it's thick and curly and gets all tangled up.

DD: Why do I have to have curly hair?

Me: Because you take after me.

DD: *long pause* So...you're saying I'm weird?

Adorable, isn't he? *snorts*

Holy Lack Of Divison Skills, Batman!

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store to pick up, oddly enough, groceries. When I was finished, I scanned the available checkout stands and decided I would do self-checkout since I didn't have my usual I'm Feeding Three Boys Don't Judge Me amount of food in my cart.

I easily scanned my bread, peanut butter, cereal boxes, and crackers but hit a snag when I tried to scan my carton of milk.

When two more swipes across the scanning screen didn't solve the problem, I looked at the bar code and realized it had a wrinkle in the middle. Upon further investigation, I realize the wrinkle was permanent.

I looked at the young man supervising those of us crazy enough to try to check out on our own and motioned him toward me. The conversation went like this:

Me: The bar code for the milk isn't working. Can you just manually input a gallon of milk for me?

YM: Um, it isn't?

Me: No.

YM: Are you sure?

Me: *heroically resists both eye roll and sarcasm* I wouldn't have called you o…

Look Before You Leap

1. I had a very nice Mother's Day.

2. Earlier that week, NOT in the context of giving gift ideas for Mother's Day, I told my hubby I really, really wanted an electric pencil sharpener.

3. I despise our current manual sharpener because the end is too big so you never really get pencils anything more than sort-of sharp and I like very sharp pencils.

4. So...the first present I opened on Mother's Day was an electric pencil sharpener.

5. I have no one to blame but myself.

6. If I'd rhapsodized on and on about wanting, say, a new bookcase or a new pair of stilettos, my day would have gone much differently.

7. What does it say about me that I was totally jazzed to get the pencil sharpener?

8. Oy.

9. Starshine wrote a Mother's Day poem to me which included the phrase "You are smooth like butter."

10. Apparently something needed to rhyme with "mother."

11. On Saturday morning, Starshine woke me up by handing me Spastic Kitten.

12. Spastic Kitten was oddly damp.

13…

Top Ten Most Ridiculous Action Figures EVER

1. The Crazy Cat Lady: Just what every child wants. A reminder of their crazy Aunt Bertha and her menagerie of hair-ball producing felines. And is it me, or is this a man wearing a wig?



2. King Henry VIII (Pose-able!): How any toy maker thought it was a good idea to make England's most violent, unprincipled king look like a cross between a quarterback and the Burger King icon is beyond me.



3. The Lunch Lady: I noticed she doesn't come with wart removal cream. I think that's a serious oversight on the part of the toy makers, don't you?



4. Vanilla Ice: Yeah...no. Even during the 2.3 minutes of his ridiculous popularity...no.



5. Eddie & Bella: They're so...big. Really, really big. Like monster Barbies but without the wardrobe options. And where's the sparkle?



6. Michael Jackson: Look, I know this guy still has fans. Rabid ones, apparently. But still, don't you think a fan would want a more true-to-life doll? This one is missing his surgical mask and his skin lo…

Google Your Little Heart Out

It's time for another in-depth analysis of which scintillating search terms brought hapless new readers to the high-brow, sophisticated entertainment that is this blog.

1. U tube sharks eyeballs: While I don't recall posting anything about shark eyeballs, I have hosted several riveting discussions on the optometric (Look! A new word!)short-comings of goats. Perhaps those were helpful? No? Well, then next time you do a search, try actually typing out the entire word "you." Most websites don't use text-speak when crafting a domain name.

2. Milk pills: Oh, seriously. Again? This means there is more than one person out there actively trying to avoid drinking milk in its liquid form. Unless you're an astronaut or a believer that you must live in a bunker, without refrigeration, to avoid the impending Zombie Goat crisis, milk pills do not need to take up space in your pantry.

3. Hershey selling reasons: My friend, *speaks gently* Hershey doesn't need to sell reaso…

Pirates, Faries, & Cake - Oh My!

Two new, impossibly cool YA authors I've met recently, both with books coming out soon.

Lisa Mantchev: Every time I visit her page, I find more to love. I swear her book is one of the coolest concepts I've ever seen. AND she's currently running a contest that involves fairies, ARCs (Advance Release Copies), and cake!

A.S. King: You know I'm not going to pass up a pirate book! Especially when I can tell the author has a fun sense of humor.

Fabulous

Because people on Twitter wanted to see the stiletto cake my hubby made for my birthday, here it is. He made the shoe out of chocolate. Isn't he talented?

Go Medieval!

Friend, amazing writer, and fellow Pixie is celebrating the release of her debut novel today. Kris Kennedy won the historical fiction category in last year's Golden Heart and her novel, The Conqueror, has been steadily garnering a solid collection of stellar reviews. If you love medieval historical fiction where the author sinks her teeth into the history as well as the characters, you'll want to snatch up The Conqueror and give yourself a treat!





After seventeen years of a civil war, things are about to change.

Reluctant hero Griffyn ‘Pagan’ Sauvage is single-minded in pursuit of his mission: overthrow England. He has vowed to reclaim his beloved home, lost seventeen years ago in a coup of the English crown, and wreak his vengeance upon the man who stole it, John de l’Ami. He disavows anything related to a destiny, as he has rejected everything connected to his brutal father.

He veers from his quest only once, to rescue a brave and beautiful woman from a midnight abduction.

Guinev…

And Stay Out

I just returned from watching Wolverine with Paul and Dusty. You have no idea how accurate that statement is. I watched Wolverine. I would love to say I watched and listened to Wolverine, but that would be an overstatement of enormous proportions.

Why?

Because two idiots decided it would be a fine idea to take their toddler with them to the movies. To a PG-13 movie. With nary an animated character in sight.

To make matters worse, these two idiots decided to manage their poor decision by sitting on opposite ends of the aisle that bisects the lower portion of the theater and allowing their delightful little spawn free rein over the entire theater.

She ran. She climbed. She giggled. She screamed. She yelled repeatedly for her Daddy.

No one responded to her. No. One. We were sitting at the very top, scanning the sparse afternoon crowd (of maybe 15 people) for any adult to make a move toward this child and none did. We became worried the child was lost and had somehow wandered out of Monsters …

Toast Intolerant

1. Spastic Kitten has taken to curling up in front of me while I type and shoving her head into my armpit.

2. This cannot be normal behavior.

3. I have a ridiculously long to do list today (of course...it's Monday) but will break it up in between with a trip to the theater to see Wolverine with Paul and Dusty.

4. I've been told Wolverine is nothing but urban fantasy cotton candy...entertaining but forgettable.

5. I'm willing to make the sacrifice.

6. What I'm really excited about, though, is seeing Johnny Depp and Christian Bale together in Public Enemies this month.

7. Yesterday, hubby brought home a new bag of cat food and left it sitting on the dining room table for a moment while he dealt with other groceries.

8. As soon as his back was turned, Tinks hopped up onto the table and ripped the bag open with her teeth.

9. No, she isn't starving.

10. Yes, she had a nice full bowl of food I'd recently poured for her.

11. This had nothing to do with hunger and everything to …

Calling All Questions!

This month, the gracious best-selling paranormal author Jeaniene Frost has agreed to be interviewed on this blog. I've been gathering "Inquiring minds want to know!" questions for her on Twitter. Now, it's your turn. Besides the obvious "Are you a were-llama?" question, what would you like to know?

Top Ten Reasons Were-llamas Are The Coolest Shape-shifters Around

1. Unlike were-wolves and were-cats, were-llamas refuse to travel in packs--they much prefer to be rogue hunters.

2. They are often invited into petting zoos by their unwitting prey--the humans.

3. Their teeth can cleave muscle from bone.



4. They are adept at killing their prey using only the Beady Eye.

5. A bite from a were-llama doesn't turn you into a were-llama because they have too much pride to turn prey into predator. Instead, you become this:



And start schlepping people across the desert for a living.

6. Nobody expects a were-llama and we all know how important it is to maintain the element of surprise.

7. They have their own spokesperson.

8. When they say they spit in your general direction, they mean business:



9. They once took on Chuck Norris and won using nothing but spit and attitude.

10. They have their own theme song:



And that's your Friday Top Ten list. Were-llamas--coming into their own whether you like it or not.