Friday, May 1, 2009

Top Ten Reasons Were-llamas Are The Coolest Shape-shifters Around

1. Unlike were-wolves and were-cats, were-llamas refuse to travel in packs--they much prefer to be rogue hunters.

2. They are often invited into petting zoos by their unwitting prey--the humans.

3. Their teeth can cleave muscle from bone.

4. They are adept at killing their prey using only the Beady Eye.

5. A bite from a were-llama doesn't turn you into a were-llama because they have too much pride to turn prey into predator. Instead, you become this:

And start schlepping people across the desert for a living.

6. Nobody expects a were-llama and we all know how important it is to maintain the element of surprise.

7. They have their own spokesperson.

8. When they say they spit in your general direction, they mean business:

9. They once took on Chuck Norris and won using nothing but spit and attitude.

10. They have their own theme song:

And that's your Friday Top Ten list. Were-llamas--coming into their own whether you like it or not.


  1. I KNEW Top Model contestants were llamas! o_O

    While you're worried about were-llamas, an even greater threat is sneaking up from behind.


  2. I've never gotten the werewolf craze. I'm waiting for the were-cocker spaniel craze. Who would you rather wake up next to on on a full moon night? A cuddly cocker spaniel or a wolf? And now we have a llama!

  3. I just read your latest twitter post. I HAVE WHAT YOU want, in my hot little reviewer hands.

    It might cost you...I'm thinking about it. ;)

  4. Hmm. If that "Top Model" comment earlier seems like a non sequitur, it's because I'm loading random non-llama-related videos.

    The internet is being mean to me. I'm not playing with it anymore today.

  5. Kerry - I heart the non sequitur. It's okay. And I'll leave the Were-Panda warning post to you. :)

    Katy - Oh, please. You love my insanity.

    Edie - I guess the reason I'm a UF girl is that I would choose wolf over cocker spaniel any day. Besides, have you met many cocker spaniels? They haz attiTUDE.

    Myra - Prepare for shameless begging. PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE!!! If you also have Lilith Saintcrow's upcoming YA release I will be your best friend forever. :) CALL ME.

  6. I will bring a box full. I'll just need them back...I don't have to write them up until July/August/September, and I like to re-read a couple of times.

  7. How very insightful. Just be warned. Now that you have outed their secret, you have become Enemy #1.

  8. Hubby read this post and told me (and I quote) "You ain't right."

    And yet, he married me. ;)

  9. I am sitting here are 2 in the morning laughing my ass off. That is so cool but what's with the duck.

    Anyway there is a New Zealand mive called Black Sheep - it has Zombie sheep in it and they do travel in (what the collective noun for a group of sheep - I think it's flock) anyway - if you get the chance to see it - very bad and funny.

    I don't worry about you CJ - I love the way you think :o)

  10. that was supposed to be MOVIE - that's waht you get for writing at 2 in the morning.

  11. You wrote about the were-llamas! "Ptooey! Ptooey!" I knew I was in good company. ;)

    Excellent investigative post. Now nobody can say they weren't warned!

  12. I randomly typed in werellamas and i found this, it is cool beans.


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