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|Good. This message is going exactly as planned--wait. WAIT. What did I just say? Oh, kill me now.|
"Hi! This is C.J. Redwine returning your call about the photo shoot on Thursday. I'm sorry I'm calling so late, but this is the first chance I've had. It's been one of THOSE days. I mean ... really. Anyway, you can call me back tomorrow at 555-555-1236. I'll be available ... wait. Did I say 6? No. Not six! Never six! Apparently I don't even know my own phone number. AWESOME. It's seven. Seeeeveeeen. 555-1237. Yes. That's the one. Anyway, I'm available. I mean, I'm not AVAILABLE. I'm married. But you don't care! You just want to take my picture. So great. Ok. Talk to you later."
On Tuesday, the sixth book in the Nightwalker series came out. Here's a quick look at ADAM:Since time began, there have been Nightwalkers - the races of the night who live in the shadows of the moonlight. Love with humans is absolutely forbidden, and one man makes certain to uphold this ancient law: Jacob, the Enforcer...For 700 Years, He has resisted temptation. But not tonight...Jacob knows the excuses his people give when the madness overtakes them and they fall prey to their lust for humans. He's heard every one and still brought the trespassers to justice. Immune to forbidden desires, uncontrollable hungers, or the curse of the moon, his control is total...until the moment he sees Isabella on a shadowy New York City street. Saving her life wasn't in his plans. Nor were the overwhelming feelings she arouses in him. But the moment he holds her in his arms, everything changes.
Haunted by magic, beset by evil, the Nightwalkers face their darkest hour yet. And when the unthinkable happens, only one legendary male has the power, the will, to save them: Adam.
|Adam Becoming Water|
|C.J.'s Minions know how to get the job done.|
|Frankenkitty sadly overestimates the current condition of my brain.|
|I am the Chicken of Destiny. You doubt? Come closer and I shall peck the doubt right out of you.|
|No, I am the Chicken of Destiny. Ever heard of a Were-Chicken? Yeah. That's right. You're looking at her.|
|Clearly, I am the finest specimen of Chicken you'll ever find. *Insert various inappropriate jokes about nuggets here* You know you want to be my Destiny.|
|Walter, the Chicken of Destiny, during his polka dot phase.|
|Wilbur, the original Chicken of Destiny|
|Photo courtesy of the talented Brooke Shaden.|
|I'm Big Ben, yo. Recognize.|
|That's right. I wrote a ton of plays that are still being performed centuries later AND I rocked a lace collar. Because I am one BAAAAAD dude.|
|Come on. Just a taste. You know you want to.|
|Yes. I am delicious. And I am not a kipper, which makes me extra delicious.|
|Invisible horses! It's all the rage.|
|Look at me, all you lesser, boring, un-turreted homes. The envy, it BURNS.|
|I don't need a bloody caption. I'm Bond. James Bond.|
|We may have sat on some whales, but our dresses are still prettier than anything in your closet.|
|Yes. I am brilliant. Shall we bask in that realization for a moment?|
|NOT C.J.'s future home.|
|Bring it, Voldemort.|
|We rock your socks off.|
A few days ago, on a whim, I bought a bag of Lay's Potato Chips in their new Chicken and Waffles flavor. I figured my kids (who love bot...