Words Fail (well, sort of...)

WandererInGray posted something on her LJ today that got me thinking about the people in my life who make a significant impact on me.

It's true that every person who has any sort of relationship with me has changed my life in some way - added something to make my life richer and more complete.

If you are reading this and you know me personally (or know me online like my totally kicking critique partner, KB), then you should know you're a valuable part of my life and you bring something unique to me that only you could bring.

I can't mention everyone here. I have a lot of friends.(and what a blessing that is!) Instead, I started thinking about that deeper hole in our spirits that basic friendship never touches and how, since I moved to Tennessee, my hole has been filled.

There is an emptiness, a vague sense of loss inside of us when we are known by many but truly, unconditionally understood and loved by none. True friendship takes on the shine of kindred spirits, entwined hearts, and is the rarest find of all.

I have true friendship and love, first and foremost, from my amazing husband. He's added balance, leadership, protection, fun, laughter, and love to my life. He's my favorite conversationlist, my biggest fan, my strongest challenge (and I do love a challenge) and my complete partner in all I do.

We are best friends.

Even though we are best friends, I longed for more. I longed for friends who would go beyond the surface, beyond what we show to the outside world, and dig for what was underneath - unflinching and delighting in what they found. I have that now in Malystryx and his fiancee Kelly. KB's post made me wonder if I'd ever told them what they've brought to my life and how grateful I am for it.

In Kelly, I have a sister of the heart with an incredibly compassionate, gentle spirit. She is open, trusting, loyal, and when she loves someone, she does it 100% or not at all. She's added an element of comfort and gentleness to my life. I feel joy whenever I see her. She makes me smile without saying a word and she believes in me even when I struggle to believe in myself.

In Malystryx, I have a kindred spirit (we share some warped brain waves) who respects me, challenges me, and protects me fiercely. We share interests, quirks, competitivness, and we sharpen each other while looking out for each other. He's added all of the above plus rekindled my love of music and sci fi. I always wanted a brother and he is mine.

With my hubby, Kelly, and Mal, I feel complete. There are others who are on that deeper level with me as well and I don't mean to leave them out (Leigh, Shelley, Tricia, and Sandy come to mind), I just have constant contact with these three and I wanted to publicly say what they mean to me.

Together, they give me balance, they give me the freedom to be vulnerable, they appreciate my strengths, they support my creativity, they defend me, they can finish my sentences, they make me laugh until I cry (or snort chicken which is just as painful as it sounds), they let me into their hearts completely, and with them I am always confident that no matter what, I am completely loved.

There are no words (and this from the Queen of Loquaciousness - Mal's favorite word) for what this means to me.